Find a Place.
"Toshiki," Kazuki says. He doesn't sound angry, but he doesn't sound much like anything. Toshiki doesn't flinch, but it's close. He keeps his hands by his side, curled into fists, and looks steadily at the floor.
He hears the way Kazuki moves, the gentle chiming of his bells, and he doesn't look up, just stares at Kazuki's overgrown shirt.
"Toshiki," Kazuki says again, and Toshiki sees the way his hand moves, feels the way his hand folds around his, and Toshiki finds the soft, calloused touch of his fingers enough to let him look up at Kazuki's soft, warm eyes, trying to keep a tight leash around himself. He has already shamed himself once, and Kazuki still could destroy him so very easily, even without his thread.
"What a terrible leader I was," Toshiki gasps, as if he had been hit. But Kazuki keeps on looking at him, and his smile is so sad. "To have made you think you were unworthy."
"Never! Kazuki, it wasn't--!"
"But it was," Kazuki said simply, shaking his head. He moved his free hand to his face and Toshiki shuddered, the soft caress more powerful than if he had been hit. "Toshiki, I thought... I thought we had time. I was young and foolish and I had everything I could ever want. I was greedy and blind and I hurt you."
"No, it wasn't..."
"But I did," Kazuki says softly, and then he's moving and – Toshiki gasps as Kazuki's lips touch his, shudders at the gentle caress that seems to rock his whole being. This is something he has spent years trying not to think about, the tender warmth of Kazuki's mouth, the sweet, sweet weight of Kazuki against his chest, Kazuki's worn, callused fingers playing at the nape of his neck.
"I missed you," Kazuki says, no, vows fiercely against his mouth, his arms wrapped around his neck. Slowly, Toshiki dares to wrap his arms around his waist. "I missed you every day while you were gone."
Toshiki's mouth goes dry, and his heart, still hurting by Kazuki's soft touch, by the quiet promise of his leader that he hasn't been ignored, that he has a place by Kazuki's side as much as Kakei does. That there is no other place where he belongs but here, because his beautiful leader needs both hands, and he was blind, ever so blind not to have realized that.
"... I missed you too," Toshiki says finally, his voice hoarse, and he almost wants to wonder how is it that Kazuki makes it being owned something desirable and true?
Kazuki kisses him again, this time both arms wrapped around his neck, and Toshiki fears he'll be reduced to tears once more as he gives himself to Kazuki, everything he ever was handed towards him; this submission he gives with both hands because Kazuki is worthy of it, because there's honor and value and strength on submitting to such gentle hands that touch him with so much care.
"Toshiki," Kazuki murmurs, softly, threading his fingers through his hair. "My Toshiki."
"Yours," Toshiki agrees, bowing his head once more for Kazuki's kiss.