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Jake POV

Okay… that was weird… and I live with the pack. I spend most of my time will Quil and Embry. I'm used to weird. That was just… wow. I thought they were supposed to be the smart ones. "Nessie, I'm beginning to like the running away plan more and more."

"I am, too." The phone rang again. Neither of us dared looked at the number. We rushed to pack before they began tracking us. It never occurred to me the last time they tracked something, they were in Brazil while the thing they were tracking was in the U.S.. Yep, we're smart. The answer machine came on again/

AlicePlease stay, Ness.

Bella Yeah, I'll go crazy if I have to put up with Alice, alone.

JasperCan I have your ipod?

Alice Not helping, Jasper.

Bella Edward promises not to kill you, Jake.

Edward Says who?

Emmett Oh, that reminds me. Jake, look out for The Glare.

Carlisle I hate The Glare.

Jasper The Glare is this glare all Cullen women have when they get mad. Especially at their husbands. We all run in terror.

Emmett We all have to deal with it. All I have to say is run and hide, buddy, run and hide. To avoid it, don't shoot the kitchen appliances with a bazooka. You then are grounded for a week and are glared at every time you walk into the kitchen.

We starred at one another and then began to pack faster.

Bella(hissing) Edward

Edward(hissing) What?

Bella(hissing) You know what.

Edward Nessie, you can stay.

Bella And...

Edward Nessie, you can stay. Jake, you can go to hell.


Edward Och. Fine. Jake, you can go to hell but I wouldn't make you go there anytime soon. The big dog park in the sky on the other hand…

Smack (The Glare)

Emmett See, even Edward can't escape it.

Edward I won't kill you, Jake. Are you happy?

Bella Yep.

Not convincing. The clothes fell into the bag.


Suddenly, I heard Nessie running to the phone. "You. Won't. Dare."

Alice Oh, sweetheart, I would. You know I would.

Bella Along with all of your explosives.

She has explosives? NOT FAIR!!! How did she get in touch with the black market?

"Fine. Jake, we're staying."

"Says who? What if I don't want to deal with your crazy family for the rest of eternity?" She just starred at me.

Jasper I take it that you're staying.

Edward Well, damn. I have to talk to you, Jake. Come by tomorrow when the girls are hunting. We won't kill you. Torture you, maybe, I would never kill you.

The answer machine then shut off. I suddenly feared for my life.


I walked up to the door on the Cullen's house and knocked. Edward answered the door. "Okay, will you tell me why I'm here?" I asked. His face remained blank.

"We're setting ground rules." Ground rules? "Yes, ground rules, Jacob, ground rules." Like what? He then takes a list out of his pocket. Oh, dear god. This thought leads to a smirk.

"Rule number one: You will refer to me as sir." Sir? "Yep." Uhhh... Why? "Well, right now I'm going with the normal father-in-law rules." But, that's just weird. We fought over a girl, who you are now married to. That's just awkward. "You want to know something even more awkward?" No. "You're marring my daughter." cricket. cricket.

"Rule number two: No thinking within a ten mile radious of me." What? "No thinking." What are you talking about? "No thinking about Nessie." What? "YOU IDIOT!" What? No speak vampire. "No thinking about when you and Nessie..." OH! "My future son-in-law is an idiot."

What am I getting myself into?

This is the end. NOOOO!!!!!! Jacob and Nessie get married, yada, yada, yada. Phone Calls is about after they married. It's like the phone calls in the later chapters. Please read it.