A/N: Sorry for the long update..ive had alot going on and havent been in the writing mood. I will try to update more often now. Keep reading and reviewing! :]]
Chapter 6:: [[Bella's POV]]
Of course both Bella and Alice felt horrible about hurting Edward. But it was hard to feel that way now, lying in each other's arms just moments after coming together. They needed to talk about it, what they were going to do, should they tell the others? Should they stop seeing each other? They didn't know. But they couldn't think about that right now all they could think of was how much they loved each other.
"What are we going to do?" Bella asked, finally.
"We have to tell everyone." Alice said. "What else can we do?"
"Maybe we shouldn't do this. It's wrong. We're both married to wonderful guys." Bella said, hating the words but knowing they had to be said.
"But what about our feelings for each other?" Alice said, suddenly afraid she was going to lose Bella forever. "Don't we deserve to be happy?"
"Don't they?" Bella asked, quietly. She didn't know what to do. She wanted Edward to be happy but did that mean she had to sacrifice her own happiness? That didn't seem fair. But neither did hurting Edward this way. Oh if only she would have figured out her feelings from the beginning if only she hadn't of married Edward.
"Bella, honey, I love Jasper and of course I love my brother and I feel awful for hurting them, but we have to do what's right for us. Even if we did stay with them it wouldn't be fair to them when we really loved each other. I have to tell Jasper and we have to end things with them." Alice said.
"Your family's going to hate me." Bella said, it felt strange since she had been calling them her family for years.
"Bella, they are your family too and they won't hate you." Alice said, hoping she was right, what would they thing? Would they hate both of them?
"Of course they will. I'm hurting their family. I'm causing all these problems. Everyone would have been better off if I never came to Forks in the first place." Bella said, not believing Alice.
"I wouldn't be." Alice said, softly.
"Oh Alice, what are we going to do?" Bella cried, burying her head in her lovers shoulder.
"Shh Bella everything will be okay. They will understand, even Edward and Jasper will in time." Alice said calmly. "Please, Bella, what else can we do? I can't lose you." They were still holding each other when they heard a knock on the door. They hurriedly put on their clothes and went to the door, they were surprised to see Jasper and Carlisle standing outside.
"Is everything alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked.
"Where's Edward?" Jasper asked.
"He left. We had a fight." Bella, explained, curious as to how they knew he was gone.
"About what?" Jasper asked.
"Son, maybe we should go back to the house and sit down and talk about this calmly, if Bella wants to that is, it's her business, not ours." Carlisle said.
"Yes let's go." Bella said, looking back at Alice to see if it was okay, she nodded slightly. Bella wondered if Jasper could feel her guilt and fear. She knew he could. She wondered if he guessed what had happened, if that was the reason for his harsh tone. Jasper and Carlisle led the way with Alice and Bella close behind. Bella wanted to talk to Alice, but she knew there was no way to do so without the others hearing. How were they going to do this? Shouldn't Alice talk to Jasper privately? Or would it be better this way? She wondered where Edward was, if he was okay. Though she didn't love him the way he wished for her to love him she did care for him the one way one cares for a brother and she felt horrible for hurting him. She hoped he would come back soon, he needed to be around his family. Suddenly something occurred to her and she stopped walking. Jasper feeling her anguish turned around.
"What is it?" he asked, his voice softer but urgent.
"I-I-You-You-Edward-Don't think" Bella stuttered not even able to get the words out.
"Bella, what is it?" Alice asked, wishing she could hold her.
"No he wouldn't. Would he?" Bella asked still not able to fully explain what she was trying to say.
"Bella, wouldn't what? What's wrong?" Alice asked again, moving closer to her.
"Italy." She said softly, she didn't need to say anything else, everyone understood. Several years ago, when Edward thought he had lost Bella he went to Italy to ask the Volturi to kill him, when he got back he explained to Bella that he wasn't going to live without her. But this was different, wasn't it? Surely he felt differently this time? He wouldn't want to end his life would he? She wasn't sure.
"Alice, have you seen anything since he's been gone?" Jasper asked her.
She hadn't exactly been paying attention for the past several hours and now she felt guilty. She concentrated and said finally, "He isn't sure where he's going but it has crossed his mind."
Bella felt awful, she never meant for this to happen. She shouldn't have let him leave. She should have talked to him or made sure he was with his father or one of his brothers.
"This is all my fault." Bella said, collapsing to the ground.
"Come on, lets go into the house and you can tell us what's happened." Carlisle said, helping her to her feet. "Alice keep an eye on Edward, try to see if you can figure out where he is and what he plans to do."
"I will." Alice said.