Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Nor do I own Deidara or Sasori.

Warning: This story contains Yaoi/Shounen-ai, and a lot of disdain for society

AN: I was inspired to write this while super depressed and ridding the bus, I hope the first person isn't too weird, I wanted to try something new. The title of this fic comes from the Placebo song by the same title. This is a late tribute to Sasori's birthday! Somehow its MAJORLY FLUFF! Dammit Benny Bennasi! (listening to "Love is Gonna save us" poisons my brain!)


Sleeping with ghosts

I slip my shoes on one foot at a time, as I sit in my room, in what some would call my home.

I check over my reflection in the mirror for a second time, I need to look perfect. For a moment I struggle with my hair, giving up seconds later, no matter what I do it's never going to agree with me, brushing a few loose strands from my shoulders I slip on my pinstriped jacket, wrapping my scarf securely around my neck. Agitated by the annoying clicking sounds the buttons that litter the material make as they click together, when I got it back from Tobi, I swore never to lend him my clothing ever again.

I smooth my hands through my short messy red hair one last time, before I throw my I pod into my bag and sling it over my shoulder, making my way downstairs and past my grandmother. She acknowledges my existence with a glance, I book it for the door before she has time to ask questions, glad to be away from this place, this isn't my home. I won't be home until I see him again.

I slip my headphones on as I clear the door, and make my way down the street. Taking my normal route to the bus stop that lays just beyond this disgusting suburban stereotype. Reaching into the pocket of my jacket I pause to pull out my poison, cigarettes. Putting a stick of delicious death to my lips, I light it inhaling deeply, walking down the barren streets of suburbia lost completely in the comfort of my music, Tool to be exact, and all of the smoke.

In this moment I am at peace, as I come to the lonely bus stop I flick the butt of my cigarette onto the empty street, as my mind is once again consumed by chaos, and I realize. The peace I so desperately seek, will always be fleeting, this brings a small smile to my face, he would laugh if he heard me say that. That chime like laughter that never fails to send shivers up my spine, then he would smile that dazzling smile that makes my heart melt, everything about him makes me melt.

His long golden hair, his striking cerulean eyes, he is a vision of perfection, a being sculpted by the hands of gods themselves just for me, an imperfect lowly creature unworthy of such divinity.

But somehow that divinity is mine, I can feel my heart flutter at the mere thought of him, and I'm growing tired of waiting. The only thing that stands between me, and my peace of mind is a lonely ride, and somehow that thought saddens me a little. I snap back to reality as I hear the low hum of the bus engine, the screech of the brakes as the large hunk of metal stops in front of me makes my ears ring, even through the music. I flash the driver my bus pass as the doors hiss open, he nods a simple gesture of acknowledgment, as I move to the back and take a seat.

I turn the volume on my I pod up a few notches as I stare blankly out the window, drowning out the low mechanical hum of the bus engine, and the pointless conversations of its occupants.
The bus beings to move, jerking me forward slightly, I catch myself on one of the metal bars regaining my composure, and returning to looking out the window.
The world passes me by in a blur of colors and smells, as I sit stationary. Neon signs flicker in the city, like distant stars on the horizon, just a bit too far to reach. As the bus rounds another corner I again have to grab the metal bar by my seat to keep my balance. Those beautiful neon stars become one with the blurred together colors of the world that pass me by in flashes, mocking me with their ephemeral twinkling, reminding me that this reality is fleeting.

Passing through the city the bus stops several times, acquiring new occupants, and disposing of the old. Soon I'll reach my destination, and then my Deidara will be only a short walk away from me, peace of mind will come and go, but with him even for a fleeting moment, my happiness will seem eternal.
After a few more stops I yank the cord signaling for the bus to stop, jumping from my seat as it lurches to a halt, several people throw me strange looks as I quickly exit without a word. Once the bus has passed me I reach down, clicking the next button on my I pod and changing the song. As I light up another cigarette, Maynard's voice swims melodically through my mind, as the music crashes in my ears. This is my favorite song, it always makes me think of him.

I sigh in content as I begin what will seem like the longest walk of my life, all sorts of unfavorable people pass me by, each ignoring my existence as I walk in silence. The streets smell sickly sweet like oil and gasoline, burnt like rubber, they smell diseased. This world is diseased, and filthy, sometimes I get sick of this rotten world, and all the poisoned soulless people who inhabit it, everyone always seems so lost, even me. I am lost, a lost wandering soul trapped in this pitiful shell, and waiting for the light that I know will open my closed eyes and make me human again. I despise waiting, but I know that my light is waiting for me, so I press forward impatient and anxious.

Rounding the corner to his street I pick up my pace, the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach growing stronger every second. The crisp Autumn air making my skin feel like its on fire, as I approach the dark blue house, only to find the object of my affection sitting quietly on the porch, a cigarette between his slender fingers, smoke escaping his lips in slow coils, his eyes entranced by th ebook in his lap. The leaves on the ground make small crunching noises under my feet as I grow nearer to him, catching his attention. Striking cerulean eyes snap up to meet mine, and that dazzling smile sneaks onto those perfect rosy lips. I feel my heart skip a beat, as I slip the headphones from my ears, he runs down the small path to the sidewalk to meet me, wrapping his arms around me in a loving embrace. He takes one last drag of his cigarette and throws it to the ground, pressing his lips to mine softly. I discard my cigarette to pull him closer to me, he sighs and parts his lips letting me deepen the kiss, the taste of cigarettes tarnishes the sweetness of his mouth, and after a moment we break apart. His hand links with mine as we make our way inside, no words need to be spoken as we make our way down the hallway to his room.

Once we are safely inside, I push him down to the bed, claiming his sweet lips in a more heated kiss, as my headphones still blare the perfect melodies of Tool. He grabs my neck, pulling me closer to him as I ravish his mouth, I tangle my hands in that perfect hair. Between kisses, he whispers along with the music against my lips.

"Be my reminder here, that I am not alone, un"

I move to kiss his jaw tenderly, nipping at the sensitive flesh and making him moan as I whisper back.

"Remember, we are eternal, all this pain is an illusion"

A content sigh escapes his lips as he wraps his arms around me pulling me down on top of his and kissing my neck softly.

"I missed you, un"

A genuine smile paints my lips and I move myself off of him, discarding my jacket and my headphones on the floor with my bag, immediately I resume ravishing him, grabbing his long hair and tugging his head to the side, to gain better access to my goal, biting down and marking his flawless marble flesh. Proving to the world that angels can belong to imperfect beings such as myself. His hands sneak stealthily up my shirt tugging at it impatiently, I pause and move off of him, removing the pesky article of clothing. Once I am rid of my shirt I move to take his off, but he stops me, kissing my cheek softly he makes his way to the door and locks it, then he turns to me and smiles as he switches on his stereo. The room is suddenly filled, as me ears only moments ago were, with the sweet harmonies of Tool.

"My mom will be pissed if she has to hear us again, un"

Flowing in time with the music, he pulls the tie loose from his long hair, and I'm mesmerized as it falls over his shoulders in liquid golden waves. He smiles at the dumbfounded look on my face, he begins to shake his hips softly along with the music, hooking his fingers under the thin fabric of his shirt, and pulling it off slowly, just to tease me. That dazzling smile is growing more lustful by the second, and in a blur of movement he's standing over me, those long delicate fingers fiddling with the button of my pants removing them with ease. The same hands quickly pull down my boxers. I inhale sharply in anticipation as a trail of kisses beings at my belly button and ends just above my manhood. Lust hazed baby blues look me over seductively, even though I'm already naked, I feel like that gaze is stripping me to the very soul.

Licking his perfect rosy lips he descends upon me, swallowing me almost to the base in one fluid motion, I can feel the hot flush hit my cheeks almost instantly, and I can't stifle the moan that escapes my lips. I feel the need to tangle my hands in the softness of his hair, as he continues his ministrations, making my skin burn with the desire for him. I manage breathlessly to speak to him, pulling him off of me gently by his hair.

"That's enough"

I pull him to me, tasting the musk of my own flesh on his lips, I push him under me quickly ridding him of his pants, and reaching down to the side of the bed to grab the bottle of lube I know is there. Uncapping it, I coat my fingers in a healthy amount of the sticky substance. I grab a hold of his hardness suddenly making him gasp in surprise, I stroke him slowly, its all merely a distraction. Gently I push a slick finger inside of him, he arches his back off of the bed, his loud moans becoming one with the crashing of the music, it's all a melody in my ears. Desperately he begins to thrust against my finger, quickly I add another scissoring inside him as I stroke him faster. His melodic cries of ecstasy and the music flooding my senses, almost overwhelming me with desire. Impatient I remove my fingers from him, replacing them with my now rock hard erection.

His toes curl and his hands dig into the sheets as I enter him, I pull him into my lap speeding up, riding him hard, he doesn't like it any other way. He brings his hands to my face, panting he kisses me roughly, in this moment we are one, deep inside this divine creature I no longer feel imperfect. For this fleeting moment in time, I am complete, I too if only for this moment am devine, I'm no longer lost, or confused.
I am enlightened.

Sharp nails pierce the flesh of my back and snap me out of my haze, and I look up into the eyes of my angel.
A pink tint paints his pale cheeks, his cerulean eyes struggling to stay open to meet my gaze, his lips singing a sweet chorus of pleasure, he thrusts his hips downwards to meet my increasingly spastic movements, his hand snakes around his own arousal, desperately seeking release. He trembles, his eyes going wide as he screams in pure bliss, his cry drown by the music, warms sticky liquid splatters across my stomach, and tight walls clamp down around me. My release follows soon, exploding inside him, in this moment I am not a part of my body, when I can feel myself again, I withdraw from him, grabbing a towel from his floor, and cleaning us both off gently. Pulling my pack of cigarettes from my jacket pocket, I light up two, handing one to my lover, and inhaling deeply from my own, He lays his beautiful head in my lap, smiling lazily up at me as he looks at the clock 12:01.

"Happy birthday, Sasori, un"

I chuckle, kissing him gently.

"Best birthday ever, I love you Deidara"

He closes his eyes snuggling into me as he continues to smoke, I run my hands through his hair, and sigh in content. There is no one else in this rotten world I'd rather be with today, he makes me smile, he makes me laugh, sometimes he even makes me cry. But most of all he makes me human.

My lover, my light, my angel.

My Deidara.

He's all I'll ever need.


AN: Aw maaaan you have NO IDEA how hard it is to write sex in first person!