EPOV

I love my sister Alice, and I know that she always has my best interests in mind, but sometimes she goes too far. I don't pretend to be innocent. I know that I have manipulated people (and vampires) more often than I can count, but what Alice did to me yesterday went beyond the pale. However, in all honesty, I cannot thank her enough, for she brought me back to my beloved Bella, and for that I am, quite literally, eternally grateful.

I was despondent – inconsolable, really – since I had left Bella several months ago. I wandered the world, lost in a fog. I crossed oceans, went to lands I had never been before, studied new languages – anything I could think of to take my mind off of my misery. Unfortunately, my sad attempts to distract myself had not worked and I could find little joy or success in anything I did.

And I missed my family.

Even though I knew that being with them again would put me close to Bella, I decided to take my chances and go back home; anything would feel better than this miserable, self-imposed exile. But when I got back to Forks, I soon realized that I didn't feel better; in fact, just the opposite. Everywhere I went I could smell her, taste her, hear her, see her – and believe me, I saw Bella often. Against my judgment and faltering will, I found myself behaving deplorably – essentially stalking her again – sneaking into her room at night, watching her sleep and sneaking out again just before dawn. I was disgusted with myself, but I just couldn't help it! My mood plunged and I knew that I was becoming almost unbearable to be around. My family was finally beginning to lose patience with me.

Alice is my best friend and confidant, and she was the most upset by my behavior because she knew what I was doing, and that I was torturing myself. Alice tried often to encourage me to stop fighting my heart and return to Bella, but of course I wouldn't hear of it. I loved Bella too much to subject her to the kind of dangers I knew were inevitable if she were to be with me. But still, I couldn't seem to manage to leave Bella alone. Once again, yesterday afternoon (another dreary Sunday in Forks), I had decided to "visit" Bella again. Alice, who possessed the special (and sometimes annoying) gift of knowing all our moves once we decided to make them, finally lost it. She stormed into my bedroom, though I wasn't surprised to see her. I also had a special talent – I could read her mind, and that of everyone else for that matter, with the one maddening exception of Isabella Swan.

"Edward," she scolded with barely controlled anger, "I know you're planning to go spy on Bella again and this is becoming ridiculous! I simply cannot watch you do this anymore! Something needs to change. You need to make a choice – either you reconcile with Bella or you leave again, today! You're making me crazy! You're making yourself crazy and everyone else in this house, for that matter! Stop following her! This is totally insane and unhealthy!"

I lost my temper…again.

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business for once, Alice?!" I roared, noticing her flinch, but not particularly caring.

I stormed past her out of my room and flew down the stairs. I needed to get the hell out of there, and I knew just where I was going. I began to run as fast as I could through the misty forest toward Bella's house, hoping to run myself into some sort of mental exhaustion. Little did I know that at that moment, Alice instigated a plan that she had been brewing for quite some time. I was now nothing but a pawn in a sick little game that she and Jasper had devised to end my madness once and for all – for good or for bad. Of course, I had no idea what they were up to, since they both worked hard to focus their minds on other things in my presence. And anyway, I was much too distracted and preoccupied with my own woes to pay much attention to the thoughts of others at that point.

As soon as I slammed the door behind me, Alice was in motion. She knew that Bella, also inconsolable, was planning to go to Jacob Black's place on the Quileute Indian reservation in La Push. She quickly grabbed Jasper and they sped off toward Jacob's place in their Porsche. (Apparently, Alice felt justified for breaking the Quileute-Cullen treaty – forbidding our presence on the reservation – because she believed that she was doing something…shall we say, nice…for Jacob.) I'll say she did.

I arrived at Bella's house just in time to see her get into her truck and pull away from the curb. God, it was maddening not to read her thoughts, so I wasn't sure where she was going. I followed alongside her on foot easily in the darkened woods, but my heart grew heavy as I realized that she was heading for La Push again. I know that I was the one that instigated our breakup, but it still hurt every time she was with Jacob Black (and she was with him a lot these days); it just never seemed to get easier. I stopped as soon as she hit the treaty border and I became more and more agitated – much more than ever before for some reason – as I thought about the two of them together once again.

Even though I can't read Bella's thoughts, I can read Jacob's, and in this hyper-emotional state, I was more tuned into his mind than I had ever been before. It was almost as if we were one person. I could feel with intensity his eager anticipation as he awaited her arrival. I could see his reflection in his bathroom mirror through his eyes and felt painful twinges of jealousy as he combed his long, black hair, brushed his teeth, changed into fresh clothes. Even I had to admit that Jacob was looking quite different nowadays, since the changes began that allowed him to shift into wolf form. He was much taller now, more muscular, no more baby-face, and he exuded a certain sleek confidence and grace in his movements that I'd never seen before. I knew that he could give Bella the safety and warmth that I could never give her, but I was having a hard time accepting this. Thinking about it became too much to bear. I quickly turned around to run back toward my house, willing him (and Bella) out of my mind. Normally, people's thoughts faded from my mind with distance, but I was plugged into him deeply now, despite myself, and I couldn't tune him out, no matter how hard I tried! I cringed every time his mind wandered, thinking of Bella in that way, imagining in vivid detail the things he yearned to do with her, to her – all those things that I wanted to do with her but knew I never could. It literally made me nauseous, but I ran even faster despite my growing sickness.

I knew as soon as Bella got to Jacob's place. I could see her through his eyes as he peered out of his living room window and as he skipped down his front porch to greet her before she'd even turned off the engine. I snarled as he enveloped her in an intimate embrace when she stepped out of the truck. I could see her, smell her, feel her – through him. She looked tired, but happy – almost relieved – to be with Jacob. It broke my heart.

Eventually, they parted and Jacob took Bella's hand. I could feel my chest tighten as she glanced warmly at him and smiled. He led her to the shed where they could be alone. I was overcome with jealousy, rage, frustration and sadness. I quickly reached my house and jumped into my car. I started driving as fast as I could, with no particular destination in mind, still unable to block the images and thoughts swirling through Jacob's head. Then I began to feel a shift in my thinking. A hardness began to seep into my thoughts, walling off my despondence in slow and steady measures.

"Alright," I resolved bleakly, resentfully, "If I can't be with Bella – either physically or mentally – then at least I can be with her through him; at least that's something." But I had no idea just how close I was about to be to her, thanks to Alice and Jasper…

Alice's plan was now well underway. She and Jasper had reached La Push long before Bella had. Alice knew that Jacob was planning to hang out with Bella alone in the shed, so she waited with Jasper at the shed's back window for the couple to arrive. When Bella and Jacob stepped into the small, musty structure, Alice and Jasper decided to wait a little while, allowing the pair some time to get comfortable – to unwind and loosen up naturally. Jacob turned on his little radio and an old-timey gas lamp, and put the space heater on. They sat for a while, talking quietly – Bella in the passenger seat of the door-less car Jacob was working on, and Jacob on a small wooden bench beside her. After some time, Jacob asked Bella if she'd like a soda and Bella said yes. When Jacob stood up and walked across the room to grab two cans from an upper shelf, Alice poked Jasper in the ribs, silently cueing him to commence his assigned task.

Jasper closed his eyes and concentrated fully on Jacob and Bella. Jasper had a remarkable ability to change the emotions of those around him and he knew that within seconds, he would ensure that Bella would stop seeing Jacob Black as "just a good friend". Bella watched Jacob move across the shed, reaching up to get the sodas. Suddenly, she found herself noticing keenly just how different he looked these days.

"My God," she thought, shaking her head slightly with surprise, "Jacob's really looking good. He is hot." she thought, feeling heat suddenly flash into her cheeks.

She couldn't help but notice how tall he'd grown recently, how broad his shoulders looked in that snug white t-shirt he was wearing, which readily revealed all his new, toned muscles. She noticed how long and glossy his hair was and how rich and smooth his brown skin looked in the lamp light. When he turned around to bring back the sodas, she was again struck by how beautiful his face looked now – much more angular and masculine than she remembered. He wasn't a kid anymore. Jacob Black was, to put it bluntly, stunning. This realization seemed to come out of nowhere and the feelings that rushed in in its wake were almost shocking to Bella.

She suddenly found herself thinking tremendously lustful thoughts about Jacob Black! And not that Jacob needed any encouragement, but suddenly, as he looked back at Bella, he began to feel an overwhelming desire to kiss her – no, to RAVAGE her!!! It was stronger than he'd ever experienced before, and believe me, Jacob was no stranger to lusting after Isabella Swan. But he, too, was shocked at just how strong his feelings were right now! He stopped in his tracks, hitching his breath, waiting for the moment to pass. But it didn't. In fact, his urges grew even more intense as he stood there, staring at Bella with mild alarm.

I felt all of this through Jacob as I sped along the highway, shuddering violently as I made an abrupt turn toward Port Angeles. Although I was still not entirely sure why I was doing this, I made my way at top speed to the tiny port town. As I drew closer, I soon understood the point of my detour. Feverish with jealous rage, I decided to pay a little visit to the restaurant where Bella and I first had dinner together that fateful night I saved her from her would-be attackers – and to the waitress that so shamelessly flirted with me there. It was difficult to tell whether she was working because I couldn't get past Jacob's fevered thoughts to read her mind, but I took a chance and screeched to a halt in front of the restaurant anyway. Before I could get out of the car, though, I was literally paralyzed by the force of more unwanted visions.

Jacob slowly moved toward Bella and stood before her, overcome with desire. He set the cans down quietly on the bench and held his hands out to Bella, still sitting in the car. She took them, and let him draw her up toward him – both breathless at what was happening. They stared in each other's eyes for a moment in lusty disbelief, both of their hearts banging in their chests. Slowly, Jacob reached out to take Bella's flushed face between his hands. He leaned down and brushed his mouth softly against her parted lips; their kiss was agonizingly slow, sexy, HOT. The intensity built and soon their hands had become entwined in each other's hair, their lips moving more urgently. Jacob pressed his growing erection into her belly and she moaned quietly. He broke away from Bella and stared into her eyes with intensity as he lifted her gently onto the hood of the car. His long, trembling fingers began to slowly undo the buttons of her soft flannel shirt. His eyes never left hers, searching her face for any sign of resistance, finding none.

At this, Alice and Jasper quietly slipped away from the shed. "If this doesn't motivate Edward to do something, then I don't know what will," she muttered under her breath.

I forced myself to snap out of my anguished paralysis and leaped from my car, striding up to the entrance of the restaurant with purpose. I practically threw the door open, chimes banging against the glass, and walked inside. I stood there for a few seconds, looking around to see if I could spot the waitress.

"What was her name?" I thought distractedly, my eyes darting around. "Whatever. Who cares."

The restaurant was empty, but after a few moments, a back door leading to the kitchen swung forward and I saw her step into the dining room along with another waitress. The girl stopped in her tracks, staring at me. A slow disbelieving smile spread across her face and I could hear her thinking, "Oh my God…it's him." When I looked directly at her and softly said, "Hello", I could hear her heart begin to beat more quickly and I noticed her cheeks flush. I knew by then that she remembered me and that she would probably let me do whatever I wanted to her – and there was so much I wanted to do to her right then.

"Do you have a minute?" I asked quietly, heat growing behind my darkened eyes.

"Uhhm…yeah…!" she replied incredulously, eyes wide. "Carrie, can you cover me for a couple minutes?" she breathed.

"Sure. Take your time…" the other waitress replied, staring, wholly intrigued.

I turned and headed for the door, holding it open for my new friend as she hurried out of the building, sneaking a look at me as she passed. I walked as quickly as I could while trying to keep a "normal" pace, leading her to my car parked just in front.

"So…what's going on?" she asked with nervous excitement as I opened the passenger door for her. "What is this all about?"

I lied, "I couldn't stop thinking about you ever since that night I was last here – I wanted to see you. Will you come with me?" I asked, trying my hardest to dazzle her with my eyes, as Bella had always accused me of doing.

"Sure," she breathed, looking momentarily dazed. "But, what about that girl you were with? Are you two broken up now?"

I flinched, but silently encouraged her to get into the car. She sat down and I shut the door. I moved quickly to the driver's side and got in as well, closing the door and turning the key.

"It didn't work out for us." I said with a curt finality that stifled any further questions.

I pulled quickly out into the street and made my way back to the highway, driving fast, but not so fast as to frighten her (although I did notice that she was holding on to the sides of the seat). I decided to try and make her more comfortable, so I looked over at her and smiled as warmly as I could manage, given the circumstances.

"You're as pretty as I remembered." I said in a silken voice, one I knew that made most humans feel more relaxed in my presence. She flushed again, peering at me with interest, an impish smile spreading over her face. I could hear her thoughts clearly now, and they were exactly what I was hoping they'd be.

However, I found it increasingly difficult to focus on the girl with these maddening images flooding into my head, courtesy of Jacob Black, so I turned on the radio rather than suffer through any more inane conversation. She seemed okay with this. After a minute, I turned off the highway on to a smaller paved road and drove along that for a mile or so until it branched off further into the forest, becoming an unpaved road that led deep into the trees. I stopped the car about 500 yards up the road and looked over at the girl. She was turned toward me openly, gazing at me with a sultry smile on her face.

I stared back at her in silence for a moment, plagued with visions of Bella responding to Jacob's deep and sensual kisses. I heard the sounds of their lips moving together, their breathing, and the small, hushed moans that escaped as their kissing intensified. I smelled her sweet hair, her breath, and the blood rushing through her veins, so close to the surface of her delicate ivory skin…it was agonizing.

I suddenly moved toward the girl, my hand reaching for the back of her head, and pulled her toward me, my fingers grasping somewhat roughly at her silky blonde hair. I met no resistance; in fact, she met my urgent kiss with an urgency wholly her own, fuelled by months of fantasies that she had never thought would come true. I was a little surprised that she didn't seem to mind my cold lips, but I heard nothing but soft groans swirling through her head as she entwined her fingers in my hair and pulled me into her with lusty abandon! I decided then to make this one count, synching my movements with Jacob's, watching him touch Bella, while I touched the waitress. Of course I wasn't really with Bella, but pretending to be was good enough for me at this moment. It was all I had, and I was going to enjoy it as much as I possibly could, having denied myself for far too long.

I broke away from the girl, and gazed at her with a slow and devilish smile, my angst mingling seductively with a growing lust that even I found somewhat surprising. I could hear her heartbeat and breathing quicken further and could see that her face, neck and chest were flushed and glowing with light perspiration. This aroused both the vampire in me and the lingering whispers of human male as well. I knew that I would have to be careful – to maintain some control. I wanted to fuck her, not kill her. I moved my lips to her jaw, just under her ear, kissing and licking her gently as I inhaled her scent. She didn't smell anywhere near as delectable as my Bella, but she would certainly do for now. Clearly, she was on board too – I could smell her musk emanating from under her uniform dress and felt my mouth moisten with venom at the thought.

Breaking away from her, I stepped out of the car and moved quickly to her door, opening it and pulling her gently outside. I backed her up against the side of the car and took hold of her hair, tilting her head back slightly. Leaning into her, I moved my lips back between her ear and her jaw, breathing in deeply, grazing her skin in slow circles with my nose and lips. I chuckled quietly as she broke out into goose bumps and I could feel her legs tremble and weaken, so I tightened my grip on her in response, at this point holding her up against the car. I moved my lips, slightly opened, along her jaw and back over her cheek (her skin was so hot) and on to her soft, open mouth. She returned my kiss with lusty fervor, again, her mind dismissing all notice of how cold my lips felt. Slowly, in time with Jacob, I began to unbutton the waitress's dress, all the while, keeping my lips moving softly over hers, my tongue extending to lightly caress the inside of her soft upper lip; a move that made her literally moan aloud.

I closed my eyes as my hands moved down her dress. Seeing through Jacob's eyes again, I watched his hands move down Bella's shirt, trembling as they released the tiny buttons from their holes. I could see Bella's exquisite neck, her collarbone – silky white but flushed with heat. I could hear her shuddering breath as Jacob moved his fingers out slowly over her collar bones, nudging her shirt off of her shoulders. I did the same to the waitress, opening my eyes to watch her light blue uniform dress land in a lump at her feet as she moved forward to allow its release. She shifted her stance slightly as she straightened up, moving her legs a little further apart. She was wearing only a lacy pink bra and sheer white panties, along with the pink and white sneakers she usually wore to work. I could see her darkened nipples standing erect through the lace of her bra and I began to stroke them in slow circles with my thumbs as I lightly cupped her gorgeous breasts. She sighed, and I closed my eyes again…

Jacob moved his hands slowly, carefully, his breath held, over Bella's silky bra, never breaking eye contact with her. Her breath hitched as he cupped her breasts, moving his thumbs in circles over her swollen nipples. She stroked his forearms with her trembling fingers, moving them along his arms and hands toward her chest, where she carefully unlatched the clasp on the front of her bra. Jacob moaned quietly as he watched her breasts jiggle free of her bra as it fell open. He helped her shimmy out of it and then pulled off his t-shirt. Bella stared at Jacob's smooth, bare chest with fire in her eyes, her gaze traveling downward over his perfectly toned abdomen, stopping on the huge erection that strained against his soft, faded jeans. Jacob lifted Bella up gently by the waist and sat her down on the hood of his car, standing between her parted legs.

"Bella…" he breathed, as he leaned in to kiss her again. "I've wanted this for so long…"

Moving slowly downward, he kissed her neck, moved across her shoulder, then down to her right breast and began to lick and suck her nipple as he held on firmly to her lower back. Bella roiled with lust as she twined her fingers in his hair and moaned quietly, arching her back, pushing her nipple further into his mouth. Jacob nudged Bella to lean backward on the hood and reached for the button of her jeans. Despite his still slightly trembling fingers, he quickly undid the button and slid her zipper down. Bella lifted her hips up to help him slide her jeans and panties over her bottom and down her legs to the floor of the shed.

My eyes flew open and I grabbed the girl around the waist, picking her up and placing her on the hood of my car, her legs dangling off the side and over the wheel well. I lightly stroked her collarbone, moving slowly inward toward the shallow dip between them at the base of her throat. From there I traced my fingers down her chest, between her breasts, and over her smooth tanned stomach, feeling her shudder as I inched my way toward the top edge of her panties. I could see the shape and faint pink color of her lips and clitoris through the sheer white fabric, appreciating the musky wetness oozing slowly from deep within her. I turned my mind away from Jacob for a moment and focused on the tantalizing sight before me, unwilling to ignore now how sexy her pussy looked beneath her sheer, dampened panties – unwilling to feel guilty, for this fleeting moment, about the lust that her swollen lips and clit stirred in me as they pressed against the fabric.

Even in my human days, long ago as they were, I had always found myself completely entranced by a woman's pussy. In my fantasies – and in the few real experiences I'd had as a young human male long ago – that forbidden nether region of a woman was always the source and focus of my aching excitement. I found the sight, the smell, the taste, intoxicating – just the thought of it often made me hard. So I allowed myself the luxury of lingering there for a while; taking my time…

I gently slid her bottom toward me, to the edge of the hood, and took her ankles into my hands, bending her knees and pushing them up and back as she moved her arms out behind her to steady herself, propped up on her elbows. I let go of her ankles and she held them there, letting her knees fall apart even further as she sensed with excitement what I was about to do. I bent forward, moving my face close to the center of her sheer panties, gazing at her pussy, then inhaling her scent deeply, a quiet groan escaping my burning throat. Gently, I lifted my index finger and traced a line along the center of her panties, following her slit downward. She groaned quietly, her head falling back. I moved my face back to her panties, my hands resting on her inner thighs, and kissed her lightly through the fabric, pressing my mouth into her pussy. I took her swollen clit briefly between my lips and sucked on it gently, stopping occasionally to run the tip of my tongue up and down along the edges of her plump outer lips, which were straining against her panties.

"Ohh…" she breathed as she involuntarily pushed herself against my mouth, lifting her head back up to watch me tend to her aching pussy.

I pulled away slightly, and hooked the tip of my left index finger into the right side of her panties, moving the fabric over slowly to expose her naked vulva. That little move always did it for me, and for whatever girl I was with – a hard-on now raged inside my pants! But I wasn't done yet. Her pussy now exposed, I extended my tongue out and just barely touched her clit, flicking upward in quick and tiny movements. I loved hearing the excited little sounds coming out of her – they just encouraged and focused me more. I moved my tongue slowly all around her pussy now, circling her clit, moving the tip up and down through her folds, sliding it around her anus, probing it, probing her oozing vagina, then moving back up again to focus on her clit. She was writhing around now, pumping her pussy gently into my face, her thighs shaking, knees spread as far as she could force them! The faster I flicked her clit with my tongue, the more urgent her gasps and moans became, and after a few more seconds, she started to clench, moaning, "Oh my God – yes, yes, yesss….!" Just as she neared her peak, I flicked my tongue as fast as I could on her clit and quickly inserted two fingers into her – one in her pussy and one in her anus, curling them and stroking her from the inside as she burst in an explosion of screams and spasms! This girl was going wild and she did not hold back! It was incredible to behold! For a moment, I had forgotten all about Bella and Jacob as I stood back and watched her thrash on the hood of my car, my fingers still pumping inside her. But as soon as the girl's shrieks subsided, I was once again fully aware of what Jacob was doing to Bella back in the shed.

I saw Jacob move his mouth up from Bella's pulsing vulva, over her mound, up her belly and back to her open mouth, kissing her with wet lips as her gasps subsided too. Like me, he had become totally turned on by what had just happened, and his hard-on was nearly bursting through his jeans. He was dying to be inside Bella now, and so was I. He spread her legs apart again, then moved to undo his belt. With a quick movement, he kicked off his jeans and boxers, his huge erection literally springing up and smacking against his stomach. With his right hand, he took hold of his penis and guided it so that it just touched the outside of Bella's wet and swollen pussy. He rubbed the tip slowly up and down the folds of her oozing slit, moistening it with her juices. She groaned and leaned back onto her elbows, spreading her legs wider to accept him. That was all he needed to see. Jacob inserted the head of his throbbing penis just inside her slit and slowly pushed it deep inside, shocked at the smooth enveloping heat of her body! Bella gasped as Jacob entered her.

I felt every sensation that Jacob did as he entered Bella and it drove me mad with anguish and lust! With a frantic urgency, I ripped off the girl's panties, as well as my pants and plunged deep inside her, holding firmly onto the outsides of her thighs. She cried out and I hesitated for a moment, afraid that I had hurt her, but she immediately started begging me to fuck her. She didn't have to beg too hard. I closed my eyes and focused solely on Jacob's thoughts, moving back and forth within her hot, silken wetness in time with Jacob's rhythmic thrusts inside Bella, his excitement synergizing with mine. Looking at Bella's face through Jacob's eyes, her lips parted in shocked ecstasy as she moved with him, I felt as if it was me that was inside her, fucking her. There was no one else but me and Bella. Shivers ran up and down my body. Quickly, Bella began to whimper, letting Jacob – letting me – know that she was coming close. Her sounds put us both over the edge, and as she began gasping and shaking, we did too.

And here is the most beautiful thing: I swear I heard her call out my name as she came, even though she never spoke it aloud! As I came in shuddering waves, I moaned her name over and over and over, too quietly for the waitress to hear. I collapsed upon the girl, as Jacob did upon Bella, and waited for my breathing to calm.

And that was it. No tender embraces, no lingering kisses. I was suddenly overcome by the urge to get the waitress out of my sight and get to Bella's place as quickly as I possibly could. What I had done was wrong. I used this girl, but in doing so – and in experiencing Bella through Jacob, just as Alice had planned – I knew that I could never live without her. I had to see Bella immediately.

I pulled out and helped the girl down from the hood, focused on getting us put together so that I could take her back to work. I had no interest in seeing Jacob's thoughts anymore, so I tuned them out completely. Once we were dressed, I shut the girl safely in my car, got in and drove us out of there, back toward town. When we got to the restaurant, I walked her to the door (no reason not to be a gentleman about it) and kissed her gently on the forehead, thanking her and telling her that she was beautiful. Dazed, she stood there and watched as I got into my car and drove away.

I drove calmly to Bella's house and sat on her front steps through dusk, waiting patiently for her to return. I knew she was on her way home because I saw Jacob walk her to her truck, kiss her softly goodbye and tell her that he loved her. Words cannot express how happy and relieved I was to see her falter in his eyes as he said those words, knowing that she didn't feel that way about him. She simply said goodbye to him with a tender smile, shut the truck's door and drove away.

When Bella pulled up to her house and saw me waiting there for her, she froze for a moment, but it didn't last long. She flew out of her truck and ran to me, throwing herself into my arms and crying, saying my name over and over again in disbelief. We held each other tightly for a long time. It was sad and beautiful and perfect and heartbreaking. I wished with all my heart that I had made love to Bella today instead of that girl. But I knew then that I would never be apart from her again, and that we had forever to make up for lost time.

Thank you, Alice.