This is an idea that came to me while I was in the bathroom! Edward POV. Takes place on the summer between Twilight and New Moon.
Emmett and I had just gotten back from a weekend hunting trip. Emmett was acting different for some reason, and he was keeping his mind good and blocked about it. I'd really like to know what is going on with him. Carlisle and Esme sat cuddled together on the posh leather couch. Alice and Jasper were snuggled on the loveseat. Bella was visiting her mom over the summer for a week, and it was driving me completely batty. She is my addictive drug. I feel as if I'd die without her, metaphorically speaking. I calmly made my way over to the piano. The keys were warm. Rosalie must have been playing earlier. I tapped my fingers gently on the silky white keys. I closed my eyes and started to hum a tune. Then, my fingers were moving across the keys to the light hum. Esme sighed happily. I'm so happy he is playing again. Bella has worked wonders on this boy. Esme's thoughts always sounded exactly as if she had said them. It doesn't always do that with others. I can tell the difference a bit more with others. Esme has been my mother for as long as I can remember. She's been with me through almost everything in my life. She is the closest thing to a mother that each of us have. It was just now that I noticed Rosalie sitting in a rocking chair, watching me. I raised one of my sculpted eyebrows at her. Even this subtle movement caught everyone's attention. "What?" I asked, curious to why she was looking at me with a complex expression. Her eyes raked over my face once more.
"What did you do to Emmett?" She asked, raising her golden eyebrows. Prosperous. I have done nothing to him. Everyone looked between Rosalie and I, waiting to see what would go down.
"I have done nothing to him. He has been acting like that ever since we got back from hunting." I said, carefully studying her expression. Rosalie heaved a sigh.
"Well, he's in our room and he won't come out. I don't know what is wrong with him." Rosalie said, glancing up at the roof of the first floor. I shrugged, merely because I did not have anything to say. "Could you talk to him and see what is wrong. I can't get through to him." Rosalie begged, her golden colored eyes causing that dazzling affect(or so Bella says). I slowly rose from my piano bench and headed for the stairs. I ran up them at vampire speed. Everything was still the same as human speed, just going by faster. I came to a stop at Emmett and Rosalie's room door. I knocked on the fragile wood lightly.
"Emmett? What's the matter?" I asked, talking at a normal tone. I got no reply. I sighed and decided that it wasn't worth my time. I headed back downstairs at human speed. "He won't speak to me either." I shrugged and sat down on the couch in-between Jasper and Esme.
"He is feeling major guilt." Jasper murmured, calculating our expression. Why would he feel guilty. That just doesn't make any sense. Emmett in general doesn't make any sense. He reminds me of a little kid on crack. I wonder if he had gotten into any as a child. Most likely so.
"I bet he is just not getting any good action in bed." Alice giggled, looking at Rose. She gasped.
"Like Jasper gets any better. I treat my husband right." Rosalie said, smirking proudly.
"Well does Emmett scream your name like Jasper does mine?" Alice retaliated. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes he does. He even screams it when were not going at it." Rosalie again had a good comeback.
"Well, at least you get some." I muttered under my breath. All eyes in the room landed on me. Oh my, I forgot, vampire hearing.
"Little Eddie wants to get laid." Jasper asked, raising an eyebrow. I bowed my head in shame. It is not gentlemanly to be thinking of woman like that. Everyone but Carlisle and Esme laughed.
"Who knew he had dirty thoughts about a human. Or a girl in general." Rosalie laughed, holding her stomach. I glared at her silently.
"I never knew he could go on a different path from his ways." Alice said, eyeing me. I groaned and rolled my eyes. They could be so immature at times. Carlisle finally stepped in.
"Enough children." He ended the conversation right there. A loud dry sob came from upstairs.
"Oh what now!" Rosalie shrieked, slamming her hand down on her chair. A dent was made instantly. Esme groaned.
"I just bought that chair too." She complained. Everyone snickered at her love for furniture. "Well, I could make you all live in cardboard boxes." She threatened. Another dry sob came from upstairs.
"He can be such a child at times." Jasper muttered, shaking his head deficiently.
"Am not!" Emmett hollered from the second floor. A chuckle escaped Jasper's lips.
"Then come down here you big baby!" Jasper yelled up to him. That is the one thing Emmett can not stand is being challenged. "Or are you too chicken! Bock Bock!" Jasper clucked like a chicken. In a second, though we could see everything perfectly fine, Emmett has Jasper by the throat.
"What did you call me?" Emmett asked, his burly voice threatening. Jasper smirked.
"Chicken." Emmett slammed Jasper into the kitchen wall.
"I am not! You don't know that problems that I have going on in my life! You don't know!" Emmett screamed at Jasper. We all stared at him in shock. Then his mind blocking slipped. He knew I knew what he did. It was the most vile, propitious thing I have ever heard of. My face crunched with absolute disgust.
"Seriously Emmett, a bear?" I said, making a gagging sound for affect. Emmett glared at me.
"I couldn't help it!" He screamed, defending himself, "I always wanted to know what it was like!"
"But did you really have to-" I gagged loudly. Emmett gave me a warning growl. It was slightly humorous.
"What did he do!" Alice shrieked, looking at me.
"He-" I started off but was put in a headlock by Emmett. Emmett covered my mouth with his big hand.
"Emmett! Get your foul, degraded hand off of my mouth!" I yelled into his palm. Emmett shook his head stubbornly.
"Not happening bro!" Emmett said, pressing his hand farther into my face. I had no choice but to bite down on it. Emmett yelped in pain, but moved his hand.
"Emmett had sex with a bear!" I yelled out before Emmett could tackle me. Everyone busted out into hysterics. Esme and Carlisle just had disgusted expressions on their pale faces. Emmett turned a few shades paler.
"I'm going to kill you!" Emmett screamed at me. I could tell he was plotting to chase me. I ran upstairs and into my room. I locked the door and opened the window. I jumped out into the black of night. My feet landed with a silent thud. I raced through the forest trees. I could tell Emmett was hot on my tail. I sped it up a bit. I swerved around every tree expertly. Emmett lost some distance on me. I curved around the trees and headed back to the house. Emmett followed me, but kept his distance. I entered the house first and sat on the loveseat. Emmett bounded in the doors. Carlisle grabbed his arm and sat him on the ground. This is all very funny. Everyone was still in hysterics.
"Now Emmett, animal sex is nothing to be ashamed of, but you should not be doing it," Carlisle went on with an animal sex talk with Emmett. That had to have been the weirdest thing I have ever heard.
What do you think! It just came to me!
I've been needing a oneshot for awhile now.