Get ready! The disclaimer saying I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters is off watching commercials. Just more madness from my mad mind!
Join The Galaxy Rangers
"Do you dream of adventures in outer space?" Commander Cain's voice was heard over the images of starships flying and alien worlds. "Do you want to help protect the Earth and the League of Planets from all those enemies that want to enslave it? Do you like blowing stuff up? If you answered yes to at least two of these questions you might have what it takes to join the Galaxy Rangers!"
Scenes of Crown Empire ships getting blown up were shown. Shots of different aliens were seen. "If you join the Galaxy Rangers you can make a difference! Meet interesting people!" Shots of Brappo, MaCross, Daisy O'Mega, Captain Kidd, The Besuit, Mogul and the demons running away from Shane shooting at them, and Bubblehead dancing were shown.
"Travel to exotic planets." Shots of desert planets, Mars, Prairie, Oke-Fenoke, ice planets and space stations. Then it cut to scenes of all those planets having explosions or aliens getting into firefights.
"Did I mention you get to blow a lot of stuff up?" Commander Cain's voice was heard again. "So sign up for the Ranger Academy and join the Galaxy Rangers! It'll be the last best decision you ever made!"
"Commander Cain please tell me you didn't authorize this!" Doc groaned as he and the rest of the Series Five Galaxy Rangers watched the commercial in Cain's office.
"I not only authorized it! I directed and starred in it!" Commander Cain grinned. "I tell you this advertising campaign will help our fill recruiting drive up in no time!"
"Recruiting who? Complete nut jobs?" Zach asked.
"Whatever works," Cain shrugged. "Hey we need new rangers and this is a way to get them. And if they're a little bent and willing to get shot at so much the better."
"It's something Commander Walsh wouldn't have done that's for sure," Shane said.
"Why do I get the feeling we've traded in one closet nutcase commander for a more obvious, insane one?" Zach groaned.
"Hey whatever works," Cain shrugged. "Oh you have got to see the one I did especially for the Music Video Network! This one I am very proud of!"
There were shots of ranger fighters blowing up enemy ships set to music. "Do you want a career where you can kick butt and take names?" Cain's voice was heard. "A career where you never know what's going to happen next?"
Shots of alien festivals mixed in with fight scenes were shown next. "One day you're helping the peaceful Besuit and the next you're blowing up the Crown Empire! You never know what will happen if you join the Galaxy Rangers! But wouldn't it be great to find out?"
Then there was a shot of Commander Cain with several gorgeous scantily clad women, some of them alien. "Do you want a live outside your parents' basement? You want a life full of excitement and adventure?" Cain asked on screen with a smile. "You want a chance to meet hot alien babes? Then join the Galaxy Rangers dude! It's sweet!"
"Now I know our commander is even more insane than the last one!" Zach groaned.
"I can't believe you did that!" Niko yelled at the Commander.
"Don't knock it! It worked! We already got about fifty calls for guys signing up since yesterday!" Cain said.
"Why you sexist…" Niko fumed.
"Calm down Niko! I made one for the ladies too! See!" Cain changed the channel. "I did both sides so it's not sexist!"
"Ladies, tired of your hum drum life and wishing you could explore the universe and meet a real man?" A sexy male voice was overheard as pictures of Shane, Doc and Zach with their shirts off did a slow pan. "Join the Galaxy Rangers and explore areas of your universe you never knew imagined!"
"THIS ISN'T SEXIST?" Zach shouted.
"Well he did show both sides so technically…" Niko blinked.
"WHAT?" Zach shouted.
"I feel like a piece of meat," Shane moaned.
"I think I need to lose some weight! I look fat!" Doc blanched.
"No, you don't," Cain said. "You look fine."
"Where did you get those pictures anyway?" Shane barked.
"Uh they were donated by a certain ranger who wishes to remain anonymous," Cain whistled. "Okay it was Ranger Red. She gave me some of her personal videos and…"
"Isn't she the one who was caught three times peeping in the male showers?" Zach yelled.
"You should have seen the stuff I left on the editing floor," Cain shrugged. "A little racy even by my standards. And I don't have any!"
"Oh really?" Niko growled. "Excuse me!" She stormed off.
"Uh oh," Shane gulped.
"RED! COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A WOMAN!" Niko was heard screaming. The sound of things being broken was heard.
"I guess I know what I have to do…" Shane sighed.
"Yeah get the camera and film it!" Cain took out a personal video recorder and went out. "I need some great action shots for my next commercial! Hey! I can even put it on my new video! Rangers Gone Wild! Best Fights Edition! We'll make a fortune!"
"My life just gets weirder and weirder…" Shane groaned as he went after his commander.
"I think I need to go to the gym more," Doc looked at his reflection in a nearby mirror. "My abs are looking a little flabby."
"I miss Commander Walsh…" Zach groaned.