sort of the flipside of 'Aftermath'. it deals with the same 'morning after' theme. but in a more angsty way. if things seem a little disjointed, don't worry, it's on purpose. Aya is slightly confused, you see. and a little panicked. the abrupt cut-off at the end is also on purpose. ^_^ subsequent parts will explain why, i think. review, please? *hopeful look*


Aya + Aki

By: L 0 K I

-part one-

The difference between waking and sleeping isn't always clear. Aya stared at the dark bed lamp across from her and decided that she was still asleep. And while she was still asleep, little things like Aki's arms around her didn't really matter. It wasn't real. And the conscience can never be blamed for what the subconscious decides to tangle up.

Asleep, she could lie there calmly while her heart beat wildly in the cup of his hand. Asleep, she could deal with the naked curve of his pelvis pressed against her back, the flesh there warm and moist, and perfumed with dry sweat.

It didn't mean anything. It didn't.

She stared at the shadowed lamp, not daring to even breathe, lest she wake up to the realization that she was completely awake.

She'd had a dream earlier, too...

Hands...on her hips, her thighs. His teeth marking her breasts...

Her eyelids slammed down tight. dream! Dream! !DREAM!!

She spent several minutes just taking deep breaths, trying to ward off the panic that was pacing in agitation at her boundaries. Panic would have been a welcome release, but to embrace the panic she would first have to come to terms with the fact that she was completely awake.

I'm not awake---I'm not awake---I'm not awake.

He shifted slightly, murmuring in his sleep. His face pressed closer, burrowing gently into her tangled hair. The soft, moist flesh against the backs of her thighs slowly hardened as he took a long, slow breath. Almost instinctively, his hold on her tightened, lazily bringing her deeper into the shallow curve of his hip.

I'm not awake! She held onto that prayer desperately, squeezing her eyes tightly closed. Even as her body twitched reflexively. Please, she thought, please...

Lips pressed against the back of her neck, and then teeth. Unexpected reaction, a tiny shift of something indefinable suddenly froze her in place.

I'm awake.

And she was also suddenly on her feet, standing at the side of the bed. Her knees were shaking, her chest heaving, and there was an unfamiliar wetness trickling down her inner thighs. Her arms slowly raised, crossed protectively over her naked breasts.

Something twinged deep inside her, a physical ache that even in her persevering innocence she could still identify.

No thought tripped through her mind, just emotion. And despite that, despite the shock, something still turned her slowly back to the bed.

Her arms tightened around her, nails digging into her numbed skin.

He curled tighter on his side, bringing her pillow closer to his face and breathing deeply. Gold hair that was normally so well-groomed, fell in disarray over his closed eyes. The blue comforter was grey in the dim light, its soft edge shoved carelessly aside to catch only on the gentle swell of his hip. He was a study of perfect dishevelment, and for one moment the creature before her was so unselfconsciously beautiful, that it couldn't possibly be her far too serious brother.

Shallow red lines marred the fairness of his skin, and she slowly held up one hand, seeing shadows under her nails. But not quite understanding why.

Her mind flashed again.

He was above her, eyes dark, and everything was shaking. She was crying out, her legs locked around him. Her hands---