Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: IkutoxAmu (even though I could add other pairings, I won't; I'm only focusing on Ikuto and Amu)
Summary: There is a fragile balance in the world. Whenever you want something, you'll have to give something else in return. The Embryo is no exception. "You can't be with him... You can't tell him you love him." Amuto
Author Notes: Went back to drama. This story will have a happy ending, so don't stress people. I'm trying to put more feeling into it and more inner monologue and less dialogue than my previous work (Matchmaking Process). People will definitely like it, but I still want reviews that support that thought.
Warnings: Rated T just in case, possibly for situations on chapter 3.
Disclaimer: Don't own SC nor it's sexy characters.
Release me from this mysterious waiting
The stars are falling; the wind is blowing.
Finally I can hold you in my arms.
Two hearts beating together.
Believe me that my heart is never-changing
Waiting a thousand years.
You have my promise
Despite many bitter winters, I never let you go.
It was the same every night. The same dream, the same words that felt like a plague whenever I remembered them.
"Tell me your wish!" The kid-like-Embryo stated every single time. Nothing wrong happened. Nothing whatsoever. But whenever he finished making a wish come true, he would always look at me with eyes filled with meaning, meaning which I couldn't possibly understand or even decipher. I was only twelve, after all.
Even though I know I should have been surprised that the little kid was in fact the Embryo, I had felt completely exhausted and tired to feel any more than just complete contentment. The Embryo had, after all, finally come after Ikuto and I joined both the key and the lock (a very embarrassing moment, by the way), promising wishes and happiness to all of us.
But that look had been the one thing that never left me alone. What was about it that made me so uncomfortable?
"GOOOOD MORNING, AMU-CHAN!" It was 7:45 when I woke up that day. All thanks to my personal alarm clock, aka, Ran.
"Good morning, Amu-chan." Choired both Miki and Suu, apparently more used to Ran's morning energy than me.
I gently stretched my arm, and removed my diamond egg from my shugo's sleeping basket, tapping gently on its top, so to wake my last, still sleepy, shugo chara. "Dia, good morning."
The four of us stared at the yellow egg, waiting patiently (maybe impatiently on Ran's side) for the young girl to get out of her egg.
"A bit longer, please." Was the only reply we received. I smiled foundly at the laid back, yet enthusiastic personality of the small child. I got up, did my morning schedule, and prepared to head for school. I was now in middle school, and felt happy whenever it was time to go. Why exactly? Well, I guess it made me feel that I was growing older, and adjusting better to adolescence and puberty.
I was distracted from my thoughts by a sudden voice coming from behind me, very near my right ear. "What are you thinking so deeply in the morning, Amu-chan?"
I think I did a double jump in the sky and blushed at least three types of red. Even though Ikuto did this to me every morning, it always caught me off guard.
"Dammit, Ikuto! Get away from her." Stated Utau with the same old annoyed expression at her brother's atticks. "You are going to scare her to death one of this days!"
"Urgh...don't come moping around when that happens, okay!?" She walked around Ikuto, linked her arm with my own, and led us both away from him. His previous smirk decreasing with each step we took, turning slightly into a pout.
Ever since we had defeated Easter, Ikuto and Utau had managed to obtain the peaceful life they wanted and deserved, living as normal as any teenager their age did. As such, they transferred to a public school, my school, that included the high school department. Pure joy. And yes, I'm being sarcastic.
Utau hadn't changed much since then, but Ikuto was the one who looked more...different. He was much more lively. Although even if, thankfully, the teasing hadn't grown any stronger, his smiles had. He was much more laid back than ever, showing the playful side of him more often, and finally starting to catch up with the years he had to let go due to Easter's constant presence. Unfortunately, I was his guinea pig when it came to being funny. Not so funny to me, if I were to be asked.
To be honest, I actually liked the attention he gave me. His words, when he confessed to me, still ringed loud and clear inside my heart, and I felt so torn between Ikuto and Tadase-kun. My feelings each day were turning more and more towards Ikuto, but I still had my doubts: how could I had fallen out of love with Tadase-kun so easily?
When we reached our school, and was time for each of us to go to the rightful building, I said goodbye to both Utau and Ikuto, although the look that Ikuto sent me, made me extremely uncomfortable. I know he was still waiting, mainly hoping, for my answer to his confession. Truth be told, even after the whole Embryo part, that had happened some months before, I still wasn't confident enough to confess to a boy, I was still so...pathetic and shy. Not being brave enough to show my loved one how much I loved him. I didn't know it then, but the act of confession would turn into something very bitter to me.
My school time hadn't changed much. We still were all guardians, including Kuukai, and had our usual meetings. Most of time Utau and Ikuto would show up, and some kind of war, or play time as Yaya would call it, would happen between Tadase-kun and Ikuto. During those moments, I would always sink into my chair, hoping I would not be stared by Nagihiko, Rima, or even both boys that were in love with me. I felt like they were fighting for my heart, and I was the judge.
On the way home, it would always be just Ikuto and me. No Utau, no shugo charas, no nothing. Just me and him...us. And those were wonderful times. We would talk. Really talk. Very little teasing to none whatsoever. He would often tell me about his childhood, or the way he got along with his mother and basically how was his everyday life. Everyday the same thing. That is, until one certain day.
Ikuto had came back home with me, walking through the front door, and climbing the stairs to my room, right behind me. It was the same everyday. After mama had caught us both sneaking out of the bathroom, he had became a frequent presence in the house. My father would freak out everyday, and everyday I would hear mama saying 'cut that out, your daughter is happy so be happy yourself!' and papa would reply with 'I'm running away from home just like my little sparrow is running away from us!' which would often end with me choking Ikuto with my pillow to avoid unnecessary embarrassing comments or giggle fits coming from him.
That time although, we were both stuck on silence, and still hadn't talked since we arrived home. Ikuto had hurt himself, just like he used to do when Easter was still around, and that fact had made me angry at him once more. He didn't try to talk to me, perhaps for lacking an excuse, and me for not being in the mood to hear whichever excuses he had to give me. I was tired of seeing him suffer, even when there was no longer a reason for it to happen.
"Amu..." I took my eyes of the bandages in my hands and looked right back at Ikuto, trying to maintain my serious and non-forgiving face. He looked back at me, with a solemn expression upon his face, unfazed even by my cold stare. That meant he could be either nervous or confident, either way was fine by me. I was not giving in to him so easily, not anymore.
"I don't care whatever your excuses are, you had no right to get in between!"
"But that x-egg was going to hurt you!"
"And do you seriously think this would be the first time? Damn Ikuto, stop treating me like a kid!"
Arguments about the x-eggs often happened between us. Easter was gone, but the leftovers of the battle, namely the corrupted hearts, were still on the loose. Ikuto had saved me more times than those I could recall, but he always managed to put himself in danger easily, like a bee is drawn to honey. I had once told him about that comparison, but he joked back that the eggs were not his honey, but me instead. I flustered in turn and we both felt into an awkward silence soon broken thankfully by my overprotective father.
I kept my hands busy wrapping the bandages around his left arm, noting absentmindedly how his muscles tensed whenever my fingers touched his skin or how his breath seemed heavier and unstable or even how the heat of his body itself was enough for me to have my face beet red. My eyes traveled all the way from his arm to his chest, where a shiny and beautiful key was kept. The Dumpty Key. The one that paired with the Humpty Lock that I too carried around my neck.
That connection that linked us both was enough to make my resolve to ignore his excuses dissolve. Without removing my eyes from the key, I forced my mouth to swallow my pride and forgive him. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."
Even without looking at Ikuto, I could tell that his eyes were transfixed in me, drinking in every word that would come out from my lips. "Forgive me too, for yelling back. And also for...you know, making you worry over my injuries."
I felt the moment go to waste as soon as I felt my stubborn character kicking in. "It's not like I was worried." Just those words were enough to make me want to kick myself for my stubborness when it was needed for me to be honest. "I just don't like the quantity of bandages I waste on you every week."
"Of course. That makes perfect sense!" I sensed the teasing tone in his voice, and resisted the urge to hit him across the head. I choose instead to look once more at the Dumpty Key hanging gracefully around his neck and thinking about how romantic it sounded whenever I remembered the moment the key and the lock once joined all those months ago. It was a memory I held dear to my heart.
I decided to question him with my curiosity of said key hanging for the first time around his neck, raising my head in the process. By doing so, I came across two conclusions: the key issue became senseless and his face was extremely close to my own.
Time seemed to stopped while we kept that compromising position. Ikuto looked at me with an expression overflowing with love. His eye were wide, fully alert to every action that I could do, if I was either repulsed or excited by out proximity. His arms circled carefully my waist after realizing that I wouldn't pull away, and pulled me even closer. My hands grabbed tightly his shoulders through the fabric of his uniform and my face was certain to be a mixture between fear and uncertainty. I know I was feeling those feelings but at the same time, the kiss that was certain to follow, was also something that I wanted with all my heart. Knowing who I loved or not was not stoping me from wanting to taste Ikuto's moister lips against my own.
The moment was ruined before it even began, when my mother knocked gently on the door. "Amu-chan, dear?"
I, quickly as possible, removed myself from Ikuto's arms and arranged my skirt from any invisible wrinkles on it before responding to my mother's question. From the corner of my eye I could see Ikuto looking to his left side with an almost dejected face, wondering perhaps if another opportunity like this would ever happen again. He knew I was afraid and uncertain and was also very well aware that there was a chance that he wasn't the one I loved. At that moment neither I could serenade the nagging question that was troubling him.
I kept trying to make my breath get back to normal as I waited for mama to continue her speech. "Tadase-kun is downstairs and wants to see you. Can he come upstairs?"
I consented as I heard the sound of mama's footsteps fading and waited patiently for Tadase-kun's presence. Tadase-kun entered my bedroom to see both me and Ikuto looking with interest at the carpet. His questioning gaze alternated between me and Ikuto and I felt like I wanted to be anywhere else but here. I knew I had very little time to avoid being confronted by Tadase-kun. He would either question the presence of Ikuto or the heavy silence that seemed to be part of my room's decoration.
I looked up, and when I was just about to begin talking, while Tadase-kun prepared himself for the same at the same time, my charas came in barging into my room, loud as ever and without being the slightest fazed by the quietness of the room. Unfortunately, it was to me that their attention was first directed. "Amu-chan, why is everyone so serious in here?"
"No reason whatsoever, Dia. I'm going to prepare some tea and cookies." I stopped in my tracks beside my door and remembered an important detail. Without turning around in my heels, I directed my question to Ikuto. "You want milk instead, right?"
"Yeah... Thanks, Amu." I pondered the option of leaving both boys alone as my charas and I left the room and climbed downstairs, ready to prepare whatever snacks were needed. With some help of Suu, I managed to pour some tea and some chocolate milk into glasses and set a trail of cookies, all ready to be taken back to my bedroom. Before I even managed to walk beyond the door, I heard voices coming from inside my room. Curiosity took over me, and I ended up sitting on the hard and cold floor, listening attentively to what the objects of my affection were discussing.
"You're in love with her!" At that moment, after I heard Tadase-kun state that to Ikuto, I had to restrain myself from barging inside my room and put the conversation to an immediate halt. I had two attractive guys in my room, both very much in love with me, and being well aware what the other one was feeling. I feared for what could happen behind the closed door.
"And you are too." Silence made it's presence clear once more, before I heard Ikuto clearing his throat, probably in a nervous way. Maybe he too was worried with Tadase-kun's reaction. "What are you going to do about it?"
Tadase-kun sighted, as I heard him sitting in my bed, right next to Ikuto. "To tell you the truth, I have no idea."
"Is that so!? Aren't you going to fight your onii-tan anymore?" I heard the playfulness in Ikuto's voice and hoped to God that he knew exactly what the heck he was doing.
"Y-yes. I mean...no. Argh, I don't know anymore, Ikuto!" A small pang crossed my heart, but I dismissed it instantly. There had to be a reason for his indecision. Even if there wasn't, there was no reason whatsoever for me to judge him; I, too, was having many doubts about my true feelings for both of them. "Haven't we fought each other enough for this last couple of years? And now we are finally friends once more, and I don't want to ruin it."
"I see... And what about Amu?"
I waited impatiently for the answer that he would give. "She loves you too, I bet."
I choked on my own spit, even if I could swear I had my throat dry. I was blushing horribly and my charas didn't look any better. "Amu-chan, he said..."
I could only nod at Miki's statement, feeling myself hyperventilate and hoping that neither one could hear. Especially Ikuto. I was sure that those cat ears were not just for decoration.
"She doesn't love me. She can't." It made me sad to hear Ikuto saying those words with such conviction, but a part of me kept nagging me, making me seriously believe that he was trying really hard to convince himself more than Tadase-kun, and even unknowingly, me. "I've done so many terrible things to her and to you all, that even now it surprises me the fact that she can forgive me so easily!"
"I've forgiven you, too, and yet it doesn't seem to affect you at all!" Tadase-kun bemused while Ikuto chuckled softly. When they weren't fighting they were teasing one another, giving me a feeling of what once was and could once more be. It scared me to think that my existence could make them break their friendship, but they proved to be above those bitter feelings and all the topics that concerned me were only friendly competition. No more, no less.
"Amu's different and you know it. She's....damn, I don't even have words to describe her. She's all I want, yet I fear I might be fooling myself. My heart keeps saying I'm in love, but...I just don't...know!"
Before Tadase had a chance to reply, I barged into the room the calmest way possible while fighting the blush that threaten to make it's presence shown. The rest of our time was spent without any more confessions of love or even any meaningful looks. Just spending a good time with two amazing friends.
When it turned dark outside, Tadase-kun announced he had to go home, leaving Ikuto and I once more in complete silence. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but after some time Ikuto stood up, apparently ready to go back home as well. I wanted to say something...anything! But the words wouldn't come. Ikuto looked at me with the exact same expression as before our almost-kiss, and I felt my breath getting caught in my throat.
I thought he was going to kiss me again when he approached me, but all he did was hold exclusively a thread of my hair and kiss it lovingly and slowly, like he probably would do if he were to be caressing my lips instead. After another staring contest, he approached my right ear and whispered to me in a way that turned my legs weak. "I'll always be watching you."
After some time to calm me down and a long time ignoring my persistent and curious charas, I finally managed to face my inner thoughts. I loved Tadase-kun...but I also loved Ikuto. I couldn't deny that both guys were in my thoughts. The thing was, the way that Ikuto looked at me, the way my body language responded to his own made me anxious to what this love could turn to be. I was still young and was afraid that Ikuto would want more from me, more than I could be capable of giving him. Was I really ready to give myself wholeheartedly to anyone?
Those thoughts plagued me, filled with anxiety and love as I felt myself sink into my mattress, ready for another night filled with the young kid, human image of the Embryo. Just once I would like to dream with my current life, with trivial questions such as love and tests and clothes, dream about a normal adolescence for once.
That night, the dream was completely different. No one else was there. Just him...and me. In the background I could faintly hear a nursery rhyme that felt oddly familiar.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
He looked at me with such sorrowful eyes, that I thought I was looking right back at Ikuto, the same expression that he made all those months ago.
He looked right at me, and opened his mouth, speaking at me for the very first time in my dreams. "I'm so sorry."
-- End Chapter 1 --
The nursery rhyme is about Humty Dumpty ('course, I think everyone knows it; I thought it fit the situation that is going to happen in the next chappie), and the lyrics that I'll be putting right after every chapter title are from the song "Endless Love", the theme from Myth, staring Jackie Chan (which by the way, he sings the song too). The song is in chinese/korean, and it's beautiful and fits the theme: forbidden love. Look for it on youtube.
I hope you like this story. I'm making it sad and corny, but beautiful (at least to me; then again I'm the writer, so my opinion doesn't really count).
And don't worry about the whole Amu has to realize she loves Ikuto and all that jazz. That will happen next chapter. Just pointing that out because that is not the issue here, it's...something else. I'm feeling evil today, especially after this cliffhanger. -pets plot bunnies-
Oh, yeah, go visit this new Shugo Chara forum where you might find everything you might be looking for about Shugo Chara. It's called Midnight Shine, and the link is in my profile.