Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: IkutoxAmu (even though I could add other pairings, I won't; I'm only focusing on Ikuto and Amu)
Summary: There is a fragile balance in the world. Whenever you want something, you'll have to give something else in return. The Embryo is no exception. "You can't be with him... You can't tell him you love him." Amuto
Author Notes: Went back to drama. This story will have a happy ending, so don't stress people. I'm trying to put more feeling into it and more inner monologue and less dialogue than my previous work (Matchmaking Process). People will definitely like it, but I still want reviews that support that thought.
Warnings: Rated T just in case, possibly for situations on chapter 3.
Disclaimer: Don't own SC nor it's sexy characters.
We loved each other too much,
That is the source of our pain.
It is sorrowful that we can't even say "I love you".
I'm so sorry...my head repeated those words to me over and over again, just about ready to burst and make themselves heard around the world that surrounded me.
I remember that many things had crossed my mind in that moment. After all, there were multiple reasons for him to be sorry about. And even I knew it couldn't be something good. Could he have been sorry for making my friends' wishes come true? Couldn't he be able to make true Tadase-kun's desire to be a stronger person, Kukai's wish to have a good career in football, Yaya's desire to fill the world with candy cradled with happiness, Rima's family a happy one or even Utau and Ikuto's longing for his freedom and happiness? I had made their wishes my own, and as such I wouldn't allow the so called Embryo, or magical egg that makes wishes come true, to go back on his words and promises.
When I finally released myself from my troubling thoughts, I noticed that the Embryo had quietly approached me, eyes permanently adorned with sadness and loneliness. Whatever bad news he had to deliver me was also troubling him.
"I guess I should explain myself before you, wouldn't you agree?" Faithful to his appearance, the Embryo's voice carried an innocent tone that slightly eased my beating heart. To ease both our sufferings, I only nodded, hoping it would be a good enough incentive for him to carry on with his speech.
The little boy took a deep breath and faced me once more, sky blue eyes facing honey yellow ones. "A long time ago, in the midst of a small village by the country side, there once lived a poor family composed by a man, a woman, and a young boy. The money that they managed to bring home everyday barely could place food in their plates, but even so the family was happy and the man and the woman loved each other deeply. Seeing that love, the young boy, their son, made a wish to the stars, wishing that their lives were filled with the best in life as a way to assure that their love would keep burning strong for many more years to come."
"In the following morning, as the young boy awoke, he noticed that resting next to him in his bed, laid a pure white egg and a golden clover adorned key inserted in its matching lock. The egg suddenly began to shine brightly and spoke to him, frightening him instantly. 'Tell me your wish!' the egg said, as the boy filled with hope and anxiety shared with it his intentions and deepest wishes. After their secret meeting, his family was no longer poor. Food was more than enough on their plates and warm clothes covered their, once freezing, bodies."
"But as time went by, the boy began to notice the sudden change in his parents. The growing greed in their hearts and how the love began to fade did not go unoticed in the boy's eyes, which began to cloud with despair. The key and the lock, the most precious treasures in the house, that combined allowed anyone and everyone to see the radiance of its bearers' love, no longer matched. The key wouldn't fit the lock and the lock rejected the key."
"Over grieving for his family misfortune, his loss, the young boy made one last wish to the egg. He begged to be joined together with the wishing egg, being neither boy nor a simple wishing egg, but both. He would act as it's human conscious, as a last hope to perhaps find a way to overcome the guilt of destroying what once had been perfect on it's own way, and to also prevent from such cruelty from repeating itself ever again... That boy was me."
As the boy shared his story with me, I began to notice that I was being introduced to the history of the Embryo and the origin of the Humpty Lock and Dumpty Key. Truth be told, I had never questioned myself about the origin of the Embryo and the key and lock. But at the same time that made me wonder: why was he sharing it with me? Why me? And why now? Somehow I knew that it had something to do with Ikuto and me, the bearers of the key and lock. A flashback of the radiance when we joined them and Dia's rebirth made itself clear in my mind, and I couldn't help but to connect it to the story.
Looking back at the Embryo, I realized that although being a magical creature of sorts, this small child was still a boy in essence. He still hadn't told me what he wanted to, but I had the impression that we wouldn't say anything unless I took the first step, whichever it was. "Is this about the key and the lock, the reason why you 'called' me to this place?"
His eyes widened in surprise, but almost instantly clouded with guilt and his small pale hands grabbed tightly around the ends of his coat. I could tell he was fighting back tears. "Despite what you think, it was not the reunion of the key and the lock that called onto me. I had decided long before that you were deemed of having your wishes granted by me."
The young boy grabbed both my hands with his own and I felt into my knees in the white plain floor of the endless empty space, allowing us both to be at the same eye level. He faced me once more with sorrowful eyes as he pressed his cold right hand in my cheek. "I also wanted to make haste and show up in front of you, but I was too late. When I made myself shown, the key had already opened the lock, and shown their joint radiance. You do know what that means, no?"
I watched the Embryo, thinking back about said reunion, and realizing that even then, even before hearing the tale of the Embryo and the key and lock, I already had known what it meant. The 'game' of uncertainties had ended, and my heart had made its choice. And it chose Ikuto... I was in love with Ikuto.
My hair seemed to dance with the newly formed gentle breeze, as the world around me molded into a never-ending field of flowers.
"I had hoped that it was just a one-moment thing, like both your hearts were synchronized in that moment. That's why I decided to spy on you two, even if it were for a short period of time. What happen some hours ago proved my suspicious right. And that's why I came...and why you're here." The Embryo gently laid his head in my lap, my fingers caressing softly his silver-blue hair, and I almost could have swore that I saw a ghost of a smile in his face, quickly being replaced by a frown. "You are so warm. It reminds me of my own mother. She used to comb my hair just like you are doing right now."
Since it reminded him of his mother, I kept combing his hair to allow him to have a vivid remembrance of the time he had spent with her. The fact that he showed concern over my relationship with Ikuto was not comforting. My friends had made non-selfish wishes, while I on the other hand, only wished for their happiness (their wishes granted). There was no selfishness in those feelings, and nothing that could stand between me and Ikuto. Not even Tadase-kun, whom I was certain would be happy for the both of us.
I wondered right away if there was something I was missing in all of that. "There is something you aren't telling me, right?" From our position I gently hugged the boy and planted a small kiss in the top of his head, returning back to running my fingers through his hair, incentivating the hesitant boy despite my own insecurities about wanting to know the truth about his constant presence in my dreams. "I promise I won't be mad."
The boy turned around slightly, with his face turning upwards, looking straight to my own. "I had decided long ago that as long as I was around, and as long as you had asked me for a wish, that I wouldn't allow the key and lock to be together. The union of their bearers will only bring tragedy upon them."
"You decided to separate them for generation? How about their feelings?"
"After some generations, I took matters into my own hands. I made the bearers either enemies, or born into families that hated each other, or even people meant to marry someone else. All to keep them from being together. I thought it was a good price to pay." The boy tore his eyes off me and looked in the direction of the evening sun, as its fading light began to turn colder by the moment. "I made you and Ikuto-kun enemies and managed to make it so you had some years apart from one another, but even so I never imagine that you would fall for each other either way!"
"So, basically what you are saying is that for generations the key and the lock have been fated to be apart?"
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying."
I swallowed very hard the new information, while at the same time fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. It was not the right time to give in to weakness. "B-but...there is no war going on. Our families don't hate each other, and we're not...enemies anymore. There is also no third party member to ruin the relationship in a net filled of lies and jealousy! Why must we separate even so?"
"Because I can't take the risk. I've seen many couples crumbling at the hands of Lady Luck, and I can't just stand here and watch another couple die by it's hands. The wishes are made. And as such, you have to pay the rightful price. And I'm not willing to make death the price again."
I took a deep breath, as I caressed the rosy cheeks of the young boy. "Can't you just trust in...love or something?" He quickly, but not brusquely, rose to his knees, just like me, and kept his eyes closed, feeling the heat emanating from my hands that still lingered on his cheeks. "Me and Ikuto...we came a long way to be together. Can't you just believe that together we can overcome anything?"
The Embryo grabbed my hands with his own and released his face from my grasp. He got up abruptly, and turned his back on me. I kept myself quiet, patient...hopeful. "I lost hope in love a long time ago. It means nothing to me now!" He looked back at me, sorrow once more in his eyes. "Sorry, but I just can't believe in it anymore."
"Then...can't you just take back one wish or two?"
"As I said before, they have already been made come true. The consciousness of it has already made it into their memories. Death is the only way of making it reversible. And I'm sure, Amu-chan, that death is not something you wish to them, is it?"
"N-no...no, it's not..." A few tears left my eyes, flowing freely from their captivity as I quickly cleaned them away. Took another deep breath as I fought a sob that was threatening to make its presence shown. "Tell me the price I must pay!"
"You can't be with him... You can't tell him you love him."
Newly formed tears ran across my face but I gave up hope in cleaning them away from my face. The gentle breeze, which still lingered in this soothing field, turned cold. I rose to my feet as dandelions began to fly away, carried happily by the wind, perhaps excited to see new horizons. At that moment, I felt like they were mocking me, making me jealous of the freedom they had.
I saw the sun getting ready to lie down from one side of the field and the moon from the other, stretching its arms in form of stars, begging and pleading to the sun to wait for it. The sun teased the moon with its radiance, as it was beloved by most people, but never reachable. The moon was mysterious and was a liar half the time, but at the same time showing its unfazed expression. Amazing how at the same time, it would always follow the sun, as if hypnotized by it. This comparison reminded me of Ikuto and me. I was the sun, and him the moon. Always together, eternally separated.
I woke up sweating, with my clothes glued to my wet skin. I had just woken up from that dreadful dream, which felt too much like reality. When I realized that my cheeks were still wet from tears and a dandelion lay next to my pillow, I was quick to realize that what I had experienced was far from being a dream. My clock read 5:13 and I forced myself to ponder my options about Ikuto, while looking with mild interest to my ceiling.
I picked up the Humpty Lock, and somehow it felt colder than usual, like it could feel the pain in my heart and came to know that it could no longer be with its match. How many times had it been joined with the key after their creation? Not too many, I was sure. If it did, they always managed to be separated once more. The sudden join that had been made many months before only resulted in a bigger longing. A longing that I was beginning to feel and affect me.
Very faintly I was aware of the soft tapping in my balcony door, and quickly realized that it was Ikuto who had arrived. He had never come to my room this late, and I cursed his sense of timing. I knew I had very short time to consider my options. Should I push him away and make him hate me? Or should I pretend I choose Tadase-kun as the one I loved? Either way, I knew I wasn't strong enough to do either one of them. I could only pray that he would leave me alone on his own. But until then, my main concern was to prevent any disaster from happening. And that included the stubborn tears that wanted to fall.
I opened the door, and noticed that his eyes were filled with worry. My face was no longer wet, but even so, he couldn't tell, for as soon as I had the chance, I avoided his eyes. I could feel his eyes lingering on me, probably curious and anxious about my sudden lack of 'warmth' towards him. "I woke up in a violent way, like I had some kind of dream, a nightmare." I stopped breathing for a moment, and I thought for a moment he knew what happened to us...to me. "I felt it had something to do with you, and when I grabbed the Dumpty Key, I had the impression that it had turned colder than it usually was."
"T-the lock too. When I woke up, it looked like it had turned into ice." I looked back at Ikuto and felt that my next words would carry on with a double meaning. "It was like the lock knew that history was repeating itself again."
"'Repeating itself'? What do you mean, Amu?"
"Nothing." From that moment on, I knew that he knew something was wrong with me. I couldn't face him, and still hadn't come closer to him. Ikuto approached me instead, and when he grabbed my arm gently, I looked up. He was looking at me like that again. That same look that any young man in love would show to the woman (or in this case girl) he loved.
With his free hand he grabbed my chin, and lifted it so we were both looking at each other. I knew he had distracted himself from the whole point in it, and began to dive in to a kiss, our first kiss. But I couldn't. That nagging feeling, the one that made me fear for his life kept warning me about the danger. Panicking, I pushed Ikuto roughly away from me and turned around, tears threatening once more to leave my eyes.
I could tell I had hurt him immensely. How his eyes were painful and lonely, and like someone had taken away his most precious treasure in the world. "You made your choice, huh?" His voice carried the same painful tone of his eyes, but at the same time, fighting away any anger that might have manifested for being rejected.
"I did..." Stronger than me, a sob managed to escape from my lips and absentmindedly I heard Ikuto's breath caught in his throat. In that moment I didn't know if it was from either my confession or from my shaking shoulders and the sob that he heard, that caused that reaction. "... But it's not the one you think I did!"
As fast as a feline, Ikuto grabbed my shoulders once more, and forced me to face him. He studied my swollen puffy eyes filled with tears as more sobs escaped my lips. He sighted and thought of a way to address the crying me. "Then what is it!? Do you... Do you love me?"
My eyes widen at the sudden question and once more I tried to push him away. That time Ikuto was prepared and held me tighter, with a serious expression in his eyes. "Let me go!"
Ikuto faced my tears once more, and with his right hand cleaned the tears that adorned my eyes. He closed his eyes for a second, and when he faced me once more, I could see the reflection of my own. "You seem to be contradicting yourself, Amu. Your actions say no, but your eyes say yes."
I quickly avoided eye contact and looked back at the balcony, biting my lower lip and staring sorrowfully at the teasing moon. 'Always together, eternally separated' it sang. "It's just that...I don't want to let you to go, but...."
"...at the same time, I know I don't have the right."
"Is it about your age? I can wait!"
"Ikuto...it's not my age that's the problem. I-I can't be with y..." My breath caught in my throat due to the fact that I couldn't dare to finish the sentence. The way I was neglecting his feelings was like my very own confession of love, and that was the last, and at the same time the first, thing I wanted to do. I gently grabbed his hand and placed it guiltily on my chest, the place where my heart was hidden.
I watched his face, paying extra attention to every single emotion that his eyes let through, and hoping that my own emotions wouldn't show in form of new tears. With trembling lips I managed to face a sorrowful Ikuto and whisper "If you wait, you'll have to wait forever."
Somehow Ikuto understood that there was some kind of terrible fate that prevented me from declaring my eternal love to him, that something was happening that forced me to be away from him. There was no need for words, for deep down I had the impression he knew it had to do with the Embryo. My suspicious were answered when he asked me that same question, leaving me to answer with a nod from my head.
The rest of our time alone, our short silent night was spent with Ikuto's arms circling my waist and combing my hair, with a mixture of tears from both of us. Even so, even then, he had promised never to leave me, never to stop loving me. We would find a way, we told ourselves. We would find a way to be together even if our time together was constricted.
-- End Chapter 2 --
First of all I want to mention that the POV that Amu has is all in the past, like it's the future Amu that is telling us this. As such we will be seeing always in Amu's POV, save for Utau that I'll be using in the future.
And second thing to say, which is an explanation for those that might be confused. Amu can't tell Ikuto that she loves him in a verbal or writing way. Any other way is also risky. She can't be with him in a sense of seeing each other in a daily basis like they did so far, or even date. They can't kiss, or hug for a long period of time. If she breaks any of this rules either one of her friends dies, or she condemns her life and Ikuto's. This rules don't apply to Ikuto. He can tell her he loves her, and although it seems to be too little, remember that it's more than what Amu can do. She never confessed to him in the first place, only he did (chapter 28).
And we'll be seeing a very concerned Amu in the next episode, especially about certain things that are going to happen in the next chapter, that will have consequences. And damn, Psychedelic-dreams has been bugging me about a certain scene in the next chappie. Did you know she's a pervert? She's been begging me about a certain scene that made her bow before me... I'm evil nyuk nyuk nyuk -insert evil smirk-
Anyway, I have to admit that this is the first time a story made by me made me cry. Still hasn't made my heart feel heavy and constricted, but...oh well, at least I get something. I really have this plot close to my heart that deals with sadness and such. Kinda reminds me of the book I have been reading. Clannad sort of had an influence in my mood too. It's story is sad in a way too, especially the little girl who lives alone in an empty world (the Embryo's dreamland was inspired by it).
And what do you all think about my made up story about the key, lock and Embryo? I'm surprised how easily it flooded from my head to my pen. My hand actually hurt when I first wrote that part to paper. And I had already turned out the light to go to sleep when it struck me at the speed of light at 2am! xD