by: Dick Dubya
Author's note: If you've made it this far, it means you've got a taste for weirdness. Which means you're making me happy. Okay, perv, read on.
The next morning, Timmy woke up--
"Maaaan, the sun is so bright... I wonder what time it is..." He looked at the clock and "Oh em gee! It's eight-fifty! I'm already late!!! And I've got a calculus test in ten minutes!"
Timmy jumped from his bed and ran down the stairs, zooming out of the house without giving notice to his naked parents and their respective lovers.
"What the fuck was that?" said Timmy's mom.
"I dunno," said his dad, "but it sure was windy and shivery! Ooh, that gave me another erection! Fernando, suck my cock!"
"It's Eduardo," replied his macho Spanish lover.
"I'm not paying you $100 an hour to reason with me! Now suck my cock!"
Eduardo sighed resignedly. "Yes, master..."
* * *
"Good morning, high school idiots!" Professor Crocker shouted through the megaphone inside the classroom. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! The high school students screamed as the 110-decibel announcement broke their eardrums and made blood squirt from the sides of their heads. Chester fell dead in a massive brain hemorrhage, but was immediately disposed off by the diligent janitor before anyone could notice.
"Time for your 999-point calculus test! I bet none of you can pass this test... not even you, AJ smartass! Unless you got... FAIRY GOD PARENTS!" Crocker twitched epileptically as though his testicles have just been electrocuted.
"That's just 999 points," AJ muttered coolly while he rubbed his fourteen-inch black dick through his tight leather pants. "And calculus? Sheesh, that's nuthing. Easy peasy, another A for me!"
But Crocker's superhuman ears heard what AJ had just said. "Hah, let's see about that!" He went from row to row distributing a fifty-page exam questionnaire. Afterwards, he checked the wall clock. "It's now nine o' clock, according to this clock... when it shows ten o' clock, pens up, pass your papers, and get ready for your F's, fuckers! Ready, get set... FAIL!" And the students began to work feverishly on their calculus test papers.
Crocker tapped his shoes upon the floor in time with each second that passed. "One thousand and one, one thousand and two... Okay, ten o' clock, chop chop, pass your papers! F!"
The entire class moaned in complaint.
"What the fuck?" Sanjay cried out. "It's only few second after nine, we still an hour to go! See?" He pointed out the wall clock. Nine o' clock, indeed.
Crocker sneered him off. "Hah! With my almighty powers as calculus professor--" He crawled like a Spiderman to the wall clock, moved the hour hand by 30 degrees and... voila! "Ten o' clock! Pass your papers and get ready for your F's! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha HA HA!"
On cue, Timmy rushed into the room. "I'm sorry I'm late! I'm ready to take my test now!" He begged breathlessly and then glanced up at the clock and-- "Oh no, ten o' clock?" He looked at his watch. 9:05. "Oh em gee, even my watch is late! What do I do what do i do WHATDOIDO?" Timmy nibbled his nails in panic.
"Oooohh... someone is early for tomorrow... Turner!" Crocker grinned condescendingly at the gangly teenage boy. "Too bad, you missed the exam. If you were only here a few minutes earlier, I would have allowed you to take the exam... but no. Your classmates are already passing their papers. Too bad. It's already ten o' clock, and no one can turn back time. Not unless you summoned your... FAIRY GOD PARENTS!"
That testicle-electrocution epileptic shit again. Timmy wondered if Crocker would ever end his obsession with fairy godparents--
What the-- Timmy still remembered his fairy godparents! Cosmo and Wanda, the wishes, their friendship, the great times...
"Yes! Yes! Yahoooo!" Timmy jumped up and down ecstatically. "I remember! I still remember!" And he ran out of the classroom, leaving his classmates extremely puzzled.
"Something is seriously wrong with that guy..." remarked Trixie Tang.
"No shit," Veronica added. "But he's still kinda cute, in a Tobey Maguire way."
"Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww..." The entire class barfed in their seats.
Veronica quipped in annoyance, "What the hell--"
"F!" Professor Crocker slammed a reddened test paper on her desk. He jumped gleefully from one row to another, distributing "F! F! F! F! F!" to everyone, and "Holy shit! A+ for AJ?" Crocker couldn't believe his eyes. The test was answered perfectly!
"Told ya," AJ chuckled triumphantly as he stroked his large cock with his hand.
"What the hell, hold on," Crocker glanced around with a reptilian glare. "Turneeeer... he slipped out without notice. I'll get my hands on that boy next time and his-- FAIRIES!"
Too much testicle electrocution for one day. Cocker fell down, half-dead, and the entire class threw a party.
* * *
Meanwhile, Timmy Turner was already rushing home in the middle of the morning, very excited that he didn't forget about his fairy godparents. "This is superb! I'm now 18, and I haven't forgotten my fairy godparents! This is the best birthday ever!" He ran straight to his room, without giving notice to his perverted parents having an orgy with a couple of dogs in the kitchen.
"Cosmo! Wanda! I'm 18, and I still remember you! Guys!"
But the fishbowl was gone. Oh shit, do I lose them? Timmy fell to the floor on his knees. To remember his fairy godparents AND lose them... he felt that was even worse. "Cosmo... Wanda... I'll never forget you... I'll never, ever forget you!!!"
"Why the fuck are you crying?"
Timmy turned to see the source of the annoying voice. "Cosmo! You're still here!" He jumped to his fairy godfather and gave him a reaaaaaaal tight hug.
"Ah! Cooties!" Cosmo screamed in panic. "Oh wait... Boys don't give cooties... Wheeeee! You skipped class! How was the calculus test?"
"Screw that exam," said Timmy indifferently. "What matters is you're still here! And I'm 18! I just broke Da Rules! Where's Wanda anyway?"
"Oh, Wanda," Cosmo blushed. "She's in the Fairy World, recovering from our night of hot rough sex."
"That's good. What happened to the fishbowl anyway?"
"You broke it over my head, remember?" Wanda reappeared, looking haggard and spent.
"Wanda!" Timmy almost gave her a hug but, remembering the confusion during the previous night, just gave her a pat on the shoulder.
"We're still here for you, sport," Wanda said as she returned the friendly pat. "Always."
"But I thought Da Rules said that I was gonna lose you guys when I turn 18," Timmy asked. "Why? Did something just happen?"
"Well... " Wanda hummed reluctantly. "I'm sorry, kiddo, but we can't tell you that," she finally said to break the silence.
"What? Why? I thought there weren't supposed to be any secrets among us!" Timmy gasped in indignation.
"Because... because... well... we're here, you remember us, isn't that enough?!" It was Wanda's turn to be angry.
"Uh-oh, I'm outta here!" And Cosmo poofed into his golf costume and was gone in a wink.
"Uhm, okay... sorry Wanda..." But though Timmy was very happy with not losing his fairy godparents, he still can't help wondering why...
(to be continued)
Slow progress. Well, at least we now know that Timmy didn't forget his fairy godparents. I wrote the fanfiction while the boss ain't looking. Yeah, FF is better than work, you corporate fuckers.
Once again, to be continued (dun-dun-dun-DUUUUN!)