Author: Stick-Em-Up-Punk

Title: I Hate Myself For Loving You

Pairing: Vyvyan/Rick

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Slash, swearing, smut...

Summary: Vyvyan hates himself for loving Rick so much...

A/N: The song 'I Hate Myself For Loving You' by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts inspired this fic... Slash! Don't like it don't read it! Simple! Oh and I know I kind of switch between past and present tenses throughout the fic, sorry! It's a problem I've always had...

"Midnight gettin uptight where are you
You said youd meet me now its quarter to two
I know Im hangin but Im still wantin you"

Vyvyan Basterd glanced at his watch for the fifth time in...well a while...he wasn't sure why he even wore the fucking thing, considering he didn't know how to tell the time. Rick was supposed to meet him at midnight, one of the few times they both knew, but judging by the way both arms were past that, the 'anarchist' was late and the punk was getting more pissed off by the second.

"Hey jack its a fact theyre talkin in town
I turn my back and youre messin around
Im not really jealous dont like lookin like a clown"

Vyv knew people had an idea he and Rick were more than just housemates from the looks they got when they were together, that and the conversations he'd walked in on. He'd punched a few of the bastards just to set an example, which was why, the punk guessed, no one had ever confronted either of them about it.

Rick on the other hand had no qualms about his sexuality, most people thought he was a total poof anyway, so why bother hiding it? Of course he liked girls as well, but he seemed a lot luckier when it came to blokes. He'd been out with a couple over the months and Vyvyan couldn't do a damn thing about it without 'outing' himself... and that was NOT something he was ready to do. The punk community would slaughter him. He'd be a laughing stock, Rick was not exactly the kind of person someone as esteemed as Vyvyan Basterd fell in love with.... Wait, I mean has meaningless sex with...

"I think of you every night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away"

Try as he might Vyvyan just couldn't stop thinking about the anarchist. It didn't help he was virtually everywhere he looked, but yet he was totally unavailable almost all the time. It was torture for the punk and he wished he could just end it... the times he'd tried to make excuses to have some alone time with Rick were too many to count and often, involved a creating considerable dents in his pride.

"I hate myself for loving you
Cant break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you thats why
I hate myself for loving you"

The punk loathed himself day and night...that he was in love was bad enough, but in love with Rick Pratt?! Fuck, what the hell was wrong with him? He'd tried to talk himself out of it so many times, but it never worked. He always ended up running back to the anarchist. As soon as there was an oppertunity he was there, like a fucking dog, loyal and willing. As soon as they were in Rick's bedroom however, the punk was in charge, and Rick usually ended up with a few mementoes in the way of bite marks and bruises, not that he seemed to mind.

"Daylight spent the night without you
But Ive been dreamin bout the lovin you do
I wont be as angry bout the hell you put me through"

Everytime daylight managed to break its way through the punk's curtains he knew that was one more night gone without a shag. Still he usually had some bloody brilliant dreams that helped take the edge off his frustration...he tells himself that 'Fuck it, tonight I'm gonna pin Rick to the bed and fuck him selnseless.' But there's usually always something (or someone) that gets in the way, why the fuck to things have to be so difficult!?

"Hey man bet you can treat me right
You just dont know what you was missin last night
I wanna see your face and say forget it just from spite"

Vyv knew that Rick could give fucking amazing head, and that only served to make his cock harder. Damn it, why the hell was Rick over there trying to chat up that nerdly looking bloke. Vyv wanted to kick his teeth in, he probably could in all fairness...no one would need a reason, he was just being Vyvyan. But Rick would know it was out of jelousy and he couldn't give him that satisfaction. The anarchist doesn't know what he's missing, up until now the punk had restrained himself but next time he's going to show Rick why he doesn't need anyone else...ever. Then he's going to snub the git. See how he fucking likes it!


"I hate myself for loving you
Cant break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you, thats why
I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you
Cant break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you thats why
I hate myself for loving you

I think of you evry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Cant break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you thats why
I hate myself for loving you
I hate myself for loving you
I hate myself for loving you"

When Vyv finally gets Rick into his bedroom he literally throws the anarchist onto the bed, ignoring Rick's startled squeak. The punk straddles the younger lad and rips his grey shirt open, buttons flying everywhere.

"Vyvyan!" Rick shouts, annoyed. "I'll have to sow those back on y'know!"

"So?" The punk replies, leaning down to bite Rick's neck, hard enough to leave a mark.

He feels the anarchist squirm beneath him, trying not to make a noise. Vyv licks and kisses the reddened skin, trailing kisses along Rick's collarbone, his hands working their way lower onto the anarchist's chest and pinching a nipple. Rick's back arches slightly, but he makes no sound. Vyvyan frowns and decides to take more direct action. He kisses and licks a path down Rick's chest and stomach, detouring to each nipple, kissing and biting, eliciting hitches in breath and slight gasps...not enough. When he reaches Rick's waistband, he doesn't hesitate in undoing the buttons and zip.

"Lift your hips up, poof." he demands

Rick obliges and is just about to comment how much of a hypocrite Vyv is when the punk cuts him off by yanking his jeans and pants down in one go, tossing them over his shoulder. The sociology student suddenly feels very self concious as Vyvyan is still fully dressed. He sits up and attempts to remove the punk's jacket only to be pushed backwards onto the bed, Vyvyan crawling up to straddle his stomach. The punk leans across to a small chest of drawers, the only furniture in his bedroom aside from the bed, and takes two items out, putting one on the side and concealing one in his hand. Rick recognises the one item to be a small foil packet of lube but the other is hidden too quickly. He swallows suddenly nervous.

"What's that?" Rick asks, not able to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

"You'll see." The punk replies evenly, he removes his jacket and t-shirt, leaving only his bike chain.

Rick admires Vyvyan's chest and arms, his pale skin virtually hairless, marred only by the odd scar and bruise. Vyv smiles at Rick and leans down, kissing him hard. The anarchist moans and the sound reverberates from the punks ears straight down his spine, making his cock twitch. He moves back so he's straddling the sociology student's thighs, his hand closing around Rick's cock, using precome to slick the shaft. Rick closes his eyes, head back against the pillow and moans quietly. The punk leans down, his mouth closing just around this tip of the anarchist's cock, hearing Rick choke on his groan, his eyes shooting open and lifting his head slightly to look at Vyvyan in shock and thanks. Vyvyan sits up and Rick whimpers at his loss. The punk just grins and leans over Rick, resting his weight on a hand placed in the middle of the anarchists chest, intent on keeping him flat on his back, whilst his other hand fetches something, still unknown to Rick, out of his pocket. Rick frowns at the man above him, "What-?" he starts, but is cut off by a stange sensation on his cock. Like something metal...being closed around-- oh...the evil bastard. Rick thinks as it hits home that Vyvyan had just put a cock ring on him. Before Rick can tell Vyv exactly what he thinks of him, the punk has moved back down his body and his mouth is back on Rick's cock, only this time he takes almost the entire length in and Rick's mind goes blank, his attention focused only on the heat and wetness of Vyvyan's mouth, pulling back every now and again so he could swirl his tongue around the tip, before engulfing Rick's twitching cock again.

Rick for his part had never made so much noise and the punk was revelling in it, his own cock aching in his jeans. He eased Rick's legs up onto his shoulders and groaned when he felt the student's thighs come together to cradle his head in the bowl of his pelvis, the vibrations causing Rick to almost buck off the bed had Vyv's hands not been pinning his hips down.

It could of gone on for minutes, hours...? Rick had no idea, his mind was cloudy and all he could feel was Vyvyan's mouth. Finally the punk stood, removing his own jeans and lubing up his cock. Rick watching with hungry eyes, Vyv covers his fingers in the remaining lube and moves to lean over Rick. He pushes two fingers inside the anarchist and Rick moans, Vyv leans down to bite the sociology student's neck and shoulder as he works his fingers, scissoring them. He doesn't prepare Rick for long, he no longer has the patience, Rick's moans driving him mad. He pushes in hard, groaning loudly. The anarchist moaned and grimaced at the same time, unable to work out if it feels good or hurts. The punk doesn't wait for Rick to adjust, he pulls back and slams into the man beneath him, his blue eyes focused on Rick's face. Vyv continues to slam into Rick, groaning loudly, the anarchist bringing his legs up and wrapping them round Vyv's hips.

"Vyv-- Please..." Rick moans breathlessly, grabbing onto the punk's shoulders. He needs something to anchor him to conciousness.

"What? This?" Vyv pants with a virtually evil smirk, as he reaches an arm down and closes his hand around Rick's shaft, pumping almost viciously.

"God, yes!" Rick hisses at the sensation, "No--I mean-" he corrects himself, glaring at Vyvyan, piercing blue eyes meeting his own. "You know...know what I mean." he tries

"Oh, this?" Vyvyan replies, "Yeah, in a minute..." he states, shifting slightly altering his angle. Rick almost screams, his head pressing into the pillow below and his back arching. The punk continues slamming into Rick, hitting the anarchists prostate with every thrust. He had always known that actually paying attention to biology would come in handy one day.

Rick's moans and the fingernails digging into his shoulders hard enough to draw blood are slowly driving Vyv insane, he can feel his orgasm building up rapidly, his breath becoming staccato. He removes the cock ring from the base of Rick's shaft and after a couple more thrusts the sociology student cries out, bucking madly, muscles spasming around Vyv's own cock and Rick's coats the punk's hand and both their stomachs with his come. Vyv groans loudly, his own release only seconds behind Rick's, white flashing behind closed eyelids, thrusting wildly into the anarchist.

He rests his head on Rick's shoulder, hearing the student's heart hammering in his chest. The punk smiles, feeling fairly safe in the knowledge that Rick wont be going elsewhere for a shag from now on. He rolls off Rick and the anarchist follows him, moulding himself to Vyvyan and wrapping an arm around his waist, a dopey smile on his face. Vyvyan brushes his fingers through Rick's damp hair.

He loved Rick and he hated himself for it.