Nothing. I was nothing. There was nothing. Nothing, over and over everywhere I looked. Prying my eyes open I saw an empty room. The board's bear and the floor held no objects. This room reminded me of me. All it once contained that filled it with life stolen. So blank and empty like my withered frozen heart.
I had just moments ago lost the one holding my life. Bella. Bella. My Bella, lost forever taking my spirits with her death.
Why? Why her? Why did she jump into those vile twisting waves? Why? The questions swirled in my head but yet still I find no answer.
I have sat here for days not caring to count them as they passed. I could feel the hunger try to shred me with razor claws but it was no pain in comparison. I felt something upon my cheek though I did not move my limp body from the floor.
My life, my meaning, my, Bella was over.
"Alice, please. I can't." I whispered pleading for her to understand but her face has solid.
"Bella, I have seen that this is the best thing for you right now and not just your life depends on this." She told me strictly getting out of the car. I sighed and opened my door also.
We were standing in front of a timeless white house, the Cullen's house. I felt a dull pain in my chest as I tried not to think of all the memories that were held in this house for me. Thankfully Alice was here to dull that pain that would have me on my knees.
"Come on." Alice said stiffly making it clear I was not to argue. We walk up the steps and through the door. A sharper pain hit me causing me to catch my breath. Memories hit me hard and I clung to Alice. She led me till we stood outside a familiar door. Alice nodded towards it.
My hand shook as I reached for the door. I stopped when my hand touched the golden knob. "Bella, you need to know the truth." Alice said telling me to continue. I quickly ripped open the door.
"Edward?" I barely breathed out.
"Oh my god." Alice whispered her hands flying to her face.
Edward lay slumped against the wall dead and lifeless. One of his legs was bent at the knee the other laid strait indicating his fall against the wall. Both of his hand turn upward limply from the ground as though he didn't bother to move them. A dead cold look in his eyes mixed with anxiety and disbelief. But this was not what Alice and I gaped at.
Edward was in tears silent sobs shaking him. His eye brimmed with a thick red and slid down his cheeks. Edward was crying blood. Edward crumpled on the floor looking like a symbol of grief in a pool of blood.
I couldn't hold myself any longer and ran stumbling to Edward's side. "Edward! Edward, answer me! Edward, please." I begged. I took his face in my hands and looked him in the eye. "Edward, sweetheart. Please."
His eyes turned to look at me but they were still lifeless. "I killed you, Bella." Edward's voice shook with his sobs. "I killed the one thing I loved." Edward took a jagged breath. "I tried, Bella. I tried so hard to protect you." I listened in disbelief. "I nearly died when I left. But, Bella, you're gone and I'm dead. It's my fault. It's all my fault." Edward stopped and shook harder with sobs.
"Shh, it's okay, Edward I'm here. I won't leave you." I chanted wrapping my arms around his quivering shoulders. Edward folded into me. He grabbed shakily to my shirt and buried his face into my shoulder. And at this moment I could care less about the blood soaking through my shirt. I chanted to him trying to stop his tears.
Finally, when Edward died down I lifted his face to mine. "Edward, I'm not dead you didn't kill me. And even if I had died it wouldn't be your fault." Edward didn't let his eyes meet mine. "Edward, look at me!" Edward closed his eyes briefly as if in pain then brought his eyes upon mine. "Edward, I'm still alive. Ask Alice." I pointed to the pixie in the doorway. Edward tore his gaze from me to Alice. They stared at each other for a minute.
Then without any warning I was against Edward. I heard him take in shaky breath of me from my hair. "My, Bella. My, Bella." Edward chanted softly seeming unconscious of his lips moving.
"I'm here, Edward." I whispered to him softly.
"Bella, I'm so sorry." Edward glanced at my eyes. In that second I could see the months of anguish and pain that came with leaving me. It broke my heart to a thousand shard of glass. I felt warm tears on my face. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward rocked me back and forth. We sat for a length less period. I started to fall asleep in Edward's arms.
"Bella, you look tired." Edward lifted me off the floor and into his cradling arms.
We came to my house and Alice brought me inside and up to my room where Edward laid waiting. I hurried to his side on the bed and snuggled close to him breathing in his intoxicating scent. Edward hummed my lullaby to me as I drifted of. I heard him say, "Sleep my Bella, my angel. I will be here when you wake." With that I drifted to a dreamful bliss.
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