Disclaimer: Don't own YuGiOh. If only I did…
Additional Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the catchphrases from the super special awesomeness that is YuGiOh the Abridged Series. All below mentioned T-shirt slogans are property of LittleKuriboh.
Another Additional Disclaimer: Willowe Diamond Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Bob Foxblade the Third belongs to Emmersonne (also known as Anikathepen).
Dedication: To Emmersonne and Yuallica, for being awesome housemates!
Authors Note: This is kinda a sequel to "Insert Poncey Sounding Elvish Here" written by Emmersonne when she was still under the penname Anikathepen. But you can read it as a standalone.
This is kinda my first attempt at humour. If you think its crap, I don't really care though, because I wrote this for people I care about, not to improve my writing in any way.
For those of you who are sharpening your pitchforks, my crossover will be updated soon! I promise! Nano has not eaten my soul just yet, and neither did this.
This is inspired by the Mary Sue Litmus Test, and the millions of YuGiOh Mary Sue fics out there. Because despite some of them being cliché, and some of them downright silly, we love them for it!
A lesson in why eliminating Mary-Sue's doesn't always work out the way we plan…
Insert Badly Spelt Japanese Here
It had been a week since Willowe Diamond Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Bob Foxblade the Third had shown up mysteriously in Domino High School, and explained the tragic accident involving ancient magic that had torn her away from her home and her three sequel fodder rebellious younger sisters, and left her stranded in the city of Domino. It had also been a week since the Millennium Ring had homed in on the long lost Millennium Bracelet, which now rested around Willowe's dainty, slim, pale wrist. And it had also been a week since Willowe had come to the public's attention by defeating Seto Kaiba in a public duel.
So naturally all these events are why it just felt like seven months to the poor readers and not just seven days.
Willowe was currently seated beside the counter of the Kame Game Shop, watching Joey and Yugi duel, occasionally leaning over Yugi's shoulder and offering advice. Despite beating Seto, she had lost to Yugi, though only by a margin of fifty life points and one draw. Willowe heaved a sigh from her ample chest and flicked a lock of her ankle length, auburn hair out of her deep violet eyes. The movement caught the attention of a certain Pharaoh, who had been leaning against the wall watching her intently. The Millennium Bracelet had given Yami and Bakura bodies of their own and both ex-spirits stood in the room observing along with Tea and Tristan, who were playing their usual role of duelling cheerleaders, and Marik, who had moved to Domino after Battle City for a reason unknown to the rest of the group.
As Joey was about to attempt a comeback, the door to the Game Shop opened, and one Seto Kaiba strode in, his icy eyes glaring at the gang, and in particular on Willowe, who gave him a warm smile that almost melted the ice around his heart – almost.
"Foxblade," he said.
"Seto?" Willowe asked sweetly.
"I'm here for a rematch," the CEO snapped.
This surprised no one, and Willowe heaved another sigh, reaching for her deck in a pink box in the pocket of her short skirt that exposed much of her graceful legs. Before she could remove it however, another voice interrupted.
"No you're not!" An angry brunette stepped out from behind Kaiba, a manga volume gripped in her left hand, an identity card in her right. Her T-Shirt proclaimed 'Screw The Rules, I Have Money!'
"Who are you?" Yami asked, stepping forwards in an attempt to protect everyone should the need arise. The woman held up the identity card.
"Anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society," she recited before pointing at Willowe. "And you Willowe Diamond Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Bob Foxblade the Third, are under arrest!"
The fact that she managed to get the full name out in one breath was astonishing. Willowe attempted to flee the scene, her long, shimmering hair flying out majestically behind her. However she was stopped in the doorway by two more women. Another brunette, who was shorter than the first, carrying another manga volume and wearing a T-shirt with 'My Breasts Challenge You To A Duel!' splashed across the front. And a tall blonde, who carried a Duel Monster deck, and who's T-shirt read 'My Voice Gives Me Super Strength!'
"Got her Harriet!" the blonde pronounced gleefully, as they both frogmarched Willowe back into the room.
"Who are you people?" this time it was Marik who asked.
"They're the authors!" Willowe explained, her melodic voice tinged with a hint of fear.
"That's right!" the first woman, who apparently was Harriet, said. "We're here to save you all, by taking this miscreant out of this world so she stops messing up the balance of the Millennium Items and the status of famous duellists!"
"And for the love of God stop swishing your hair woman!" the shortest barked, as Willowe's curtain of hair fell in the way of her beautiful angelic face. The blonde author set about relieving Willowe of her deck and fishing through it until she found what she was looking for.
"But…if you guys are the authors," Joey said slowly. "Doesn't that make you…like, self inserts?"
"You know that's the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say Mutt," Seto said. Joey looked ready to explode, but the tallest author jumped in with a frustrated growl.
"Argh! Why does this always happen when we try to save worlds?!"
"Tash never mind about being self inserts!" the shortest girl, who's name was Lauren, said. "Just rip up that card already!"
Tash looked down at the fifth Blue Eyes White Dragon card that she had just plucked from Willowe's deck, and handed it to Seto, who gleefully ripped it to shreds.
"Now that that's over with," Harriet said, sweeping her own deep brown hair from her glittering green eyes, pouncing on the nearest bishie (Marik) and nibbling on his neck.
"Harriet!" both her companions whined, while Joey and Tristan started to wolf whistle.
"What?!" Harriet said. "I'm a self insert! I won't apologise!"
"…fine, but the Tomb Robber's sexy ass is mine!" Tash proclaimed, grabbing Bakura by the back of the head and snogging him. Sitting next to Yugi, Ryou's eyes opened wide with alarm as he watched Bakura shrug and decide to just go with it.
"Oh dear God…" Lauren muttered, slamming the manga volume into her forehead a little too hard and almost concussing herself. She swayed on the spot a little bit and Yami immediately leaped forwards to stop her from crashing to the floor.
"…this is weird." Ryou proclaimed.
"Yeah weren't they supposed to be saving us or something?" Joey asked.
"Maybe they're planning to use fangirl love to drive away our enemies?" Tea suggested, as Lauren decided that she might as well join in, slipped the Millennium Bracelet onto her own wrist, and accepted the Pharaoh's proposal to be his queen.
"Yay for fangirl love!" Tash squeaked, in between tugging Bakura's shirt off.
"Whatever," Kaiba muttered. "If Foxblade won't duel, then I want to duel against Yugi!"
And so Yugi defeated Kaiba for what seemed to be the millionth time for all fans watching, as the anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society took a brief break in Domino to have wild, passionate love affairs with their chosen partners. Meanwhile Willowe Diamond Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Bob Foxblade the Third mysteriously disappeared once again to wreak havoc upon another unsuspecting world and author…at least, until the society catches up with her again.