I sat in my truck, my hands twisting, fidgeting. I was filled with nervous energy as I sat in the cab of my beat down old Ford. I bit my lip and to stop my tittering hands I ran them through my hair. It felt slightly gross, like it hadn't been washed properly, and I realized that it probably hadn't.
I felt a bundle of nerves inside my quake suddenly, a person walking in front of my truck looked so similar to the person who I was waiting for that I got them confused. It was obvious that he wasn't Jake, of course he wasn't Jake, he was broader and taller, his hair was shorter and his skin slightly lighter.
I bit my lip again and my hands gripped my steering wheel. I hadn't seen Jacob in over three weeks. He was running around with Sam Uley's gang, his cult. He hadn't returned any of my calls, and he was conveniently never around or available when I went to visit him. Billy was refusing to answer the phones now, and when I visited he didn't even bother to make up excuses for Jake.
I felt a pressure build behind my eyes and my cheeks felt hot. I was angry, but more than that I was terrified. What was happening? Why was Jake acting like this? He was my best friend, he was my support system, I needed him. And I thought that he'd needed me too, but I'd been wrong. Of course I had.
Everyone I loved seemed to leave me. What did I do wrong this time? I couldn't be sure, but my obsessing now probably wasn't helping. I dropped my head onto my steering wheel and my eyes squeezed shut at the rush of pain that seemed to engulf me.
"What's wrong with me?" I muttered under my breath, hating that I'd driven away anther precious person.
A sudden knock on my window made me jump, I couldn't help the startled sound that left me as I started. My hand flew to my chest, to sit over my fast beating heart. My wide eyes connected with light brown ones, there was worry in them and I felt immediately bad for scaring him.
I reached quickly to roll down my window, it took a lot of energy as the thing was ancient but I didn't mind. I didn't even think to just open the door.
"Quil?" I asked as the window continued moving down with every wide circular motion of my hand on the little lever.
"Are you alright, Bella? What're you doing here?" he asked me, worry evident in his every word. I felt a sudden swell of affection for this boy. I knew how hard Jacob's sudden changes had been on Quil. He hadn't been the same since losing both of his best friends.
"Yea, I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried you, Quil," I answered, though I evaded his second question. I knew he'd know anyway, there was no way that he couldn't. Though I was parked in an odd place. My eyes quickly moved to the Welcome to First Beach sign, I was parked right in front of it on the side of the road, half in sand.
Quil's hands rested on my door where the window rested inside, he frowned lightly at me and for the first time I noticed him. Really saw him, he was a lot more handsome than I'd ever given him credit for. The perfect planes of his face were broad and strong like he was. His jaw was wide, and his chin was squared. His cheek bones were high but not overly so, and the small hollows of his cheeks elongated his face attractively.
His skin was lighter than most of the La Push resident's, but still impossibly bronzed. His brows were slightly arched at the ends, thick, and a dark black matching his hair. It was cropped short, unlike Jacob's and it fit him perfectly. His eyes were what drew me in though, they were a deep honey, a burnt gold, but darker. They were full of emotion and depth, they held comfort and wisdom beyond his years.
"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked suddenly, pulling my from my clear staring. I bit my lip and mentally cursed myself, I probably looked like a complete idiot.
"I'm sorry, Quil. I'm just a little out of it today…" my mind struggled to find words that would soothe him, but they seemed to be stuck in my throat.
"Is it Jake?" he asked in his soothing baritone. His voice was deep, but not too deep, it was calm and it was cool, much like his personality. I couldn't help the small smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth. Only it wasn't a happy smile, it was filled with sadness, remorse, and something that I couldn't really understand. He seemed to be able to read me though, too easily in fact.
His large hand reached out and rested on top of mine, which was still resting against the steering wheel. His hand was warm, and my colder one seemed to immediately heat, I was thankful for it too.
"I don't know what's happened to him, Bella. I don't know what he and Embry are doing with Sam, but I figure when he's ready to, he'll tell us. There's no way he'd abandon you, Bella. No way. I've known him all my life, and there's never been anyone else that he's looked at the way that he looks at you."
I felt that old familiar hole in my chest ripple with pain, and expand. Edward had dug that hole, and I'd thought that Jacob had healed it. It returned now, fresh and severe in its pain.
Quil seemed to once again understand me, and his hand gently squeezed mine. I reveled in the comfort that he offered, I'd been like this for weeks now, and I hadn't been able to shut myself off like I had after Edward. I hadn't been able to block out all my pain, it had been cutting me deeper and deeper every day.
And now, Quil offered something better than enduring the pain. He offered solace, and comfort, however small at this point. And I wanted it. I selfishly wanted it all. Every ounce of comfort, of this reprieve from my pain, I wanted. My hand turned and our palms touched. My fingers wrapped around his and held them.
"I'm scared," I admitted for the first time, it felt good. Having Quil here, and not being alone in my pain felt good, impossibly so. And I wasn't willing to give it up just yet.
I'd lost Edward, and that had almost killed me. And now I was losing Jacob, and it was tearing me to pieces. I needed someone who could understand, who could take some of my pain away. And Quil, for he felt this loss as strongly as I did, seemed to be that person.
A/N: This was a really short beginning, but I hope it was well liked! I'll have more chapters up soon. This story is dedicated to the girl who got me writing this in the first place. You know who you are! Thank you so much for being so supportive of me while I wrote this! Here's lookin' at you kid! Haha
I hope you decide to review!