Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I just make them do my bidding in this story… evil laugh

It had been two days since she had seen Edward. Sighing deeply, she pulled the clear tape out of its dispenser, breaking it off at the little metal teeth…sticking it over the seam of wrapping paper to hold the corner in its place.

Little baby Rudolph the red nosed reindeer smiled up at her, as if to say, 'Cheer up, he'll be back' – she gave a small grin back, unable to resist those big brown eyes of his…the cute little antlers just starting to bud from his rounded head, that magical nose sparkling red. Bella loved the story of Rudolph – a lonely misfit rising above everyone's expectations to save Christmas and in the end have everyone cheering him on…wanting to be part of his world. It was scary how similar her life had been to that once….until lately.

Now she didn't really care if she had tons of friends…as long as she had her one…her Edward. Since him, she could care less if the whole world vanished, as long as he was there. His smell was here, on the comforter of her bed, where she sat…on the pillows. For a moment, she almost felt tears come to her eyes…God, I miss him…she thought…it was almost causing her physical pain…not seeing his eyes or hearing his laugh…feeling his frosty hands on her cheeks and hair.

Playing softly in the air was her CD player, over by the cracked open window. A little gush of wind twirled outside, making a hissing noise.

Maybe I should get my radio away from the window, she thought, Or close the window.

Then immediately, a fraction of a second later, she banished all those thoughts.

NO, NO, NO….I can never close my window again…I would freeze during the winter, but there was no way I could shut the window. I'm sure Edward would know I'm not trying to keep him out, but you never know. What if he thinks that means I don't want him to come in ? I'd hurt him…I'd rather lose a hand than do that. And the way Edward was, he wouldn't knock on the glass and ASK me…he'd silently go, alone, his little heart broken.

Trying to get herself in the Christmas mood, she listened to Josh Groban, one of her favorite singers, his Christmas album. This was from the movie Polar Express, Believe, it was called…one of Bella's favorites.

"We were…dreamers…not so long ago…", his rich thick voice swirled around her like a fur coat, it's depth very similar to Edward's own voice when he sang…but Josh Groban had a more innocent sound…Edward's voice had an intensity, a fire in it…desire and an achingly tormented sense to it. It always made her tremble when he used it on her…and he did….a lot. Music was Edward's soul…he loved sharing it with her.

I wonder if Edward knows Josh Groban's music , Bella pondered as she folded another corner of wrapping paper, going for the tape again…I'll have to play him some…I bet he'll make a face…sometimes he could be a music snob, only caring for as he called it, REAL MUSIC. A lot of today's music didn't really seem to move him. Oh well, I'll make him listen anyway…I have to keep dusting him off and making him join the year 2008 once in awhile…or else he'd retreat back to the 1950's again.

Sometimes she felt like a cop, catching Edward once more in the hallways of the past…tugging him by the ear and leading him back to this decade. Edward was an incredible creature, in so many ways…forever 17 years old. And there were lots of times that he really ACTED like a 17 year old, never tired, eternally young and playful. Then, in other times, he was as old fashioned as a horse and buggy…knowing everything from day one when Bella had just seemed to show up a few minutes ago.

He probably was even around before Coca Cola was invented, for crying out loud ! she smirked as she realized, thinking, it's a miracle we find common ground to have actual conversations together. We are worlds apart…yet…so close we're almost one. And when he's gone, I feel like half of me is missing.

Bella sighed again…another day to go until Edward came back from hunting with his brothers…she didn't know if she could hang on another day…time drew out like a blade…slow and gut wrenching.

Stop being like this, she scolded herself, Edward only leaves when he has to feed, stop acting like some baby who can't have one happy moment without him. Needy…she called herself.

Then her mind went to what she was going to get Edward for Christmas.

He knows and has everything….damn. I would've gotten him an ipod…since he's so into music, complete with a bunch of new modern songs. But, of course, he already has one. I think it holds like 20,000 songs. I don't even know 300 songs. I feel so stupid around him sometimes…of course he never says anything to make me feel bad. Well, once in awhile, he does say things like, I'm going to teach you more about this or that. He's not trying to be hurtful though.

Suddenly, like a wicked little termite, a thought popped into her brain….a gift Edward didn't have and couldn't get from anyone else in the world.

Images of herself in a little Santa bikini with a matching hat on her head flashed to mind, a seductive but not disgusting pose…maybe a candy cane in her mouth…a nice poster framed for the wall of his bedroom. Then she pictured the look on his face if she gave him such a thing…and the idea crashed and burned instantly.

You let someone take a picture of you…THIS WAY?!, she heard his voice in her brain, sounding calm but enraged at the same time. What's his name and where did this HAPPEN ? In this department, Edward was as old fashioned as English lace.

No no no…she shuddered, not a good idea….Edward would kill him…just for seeing me that way. And he'd never put it on his wall for his brothers and Carlisle to gape at. I have to admit, I love it when he acts as if he owns me…that I am for him and no one else. So tradtional…but as romantic and sweet as a sonnet from 1918.

Music was playing in the frosty air as a vampire landed on a tree limb closeby to the white house…the one window was alight with a warm glow…as if an angel was inside, punching a tiny hole in the dense blackness of the night.

See next chapter

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WinndSinger