Viva Las Vegas

Disclaimer: All not mine, but as soon as I get rich, I´ll buy it...

Spoiler: none, set somewhere in the middle of season three

Rating: T

Summary: House, Cuddy, Vegas. Much alcohol and an Elvis-chapel... So prepare yourself for the worse ;-P

Feedback: Please!


Thursday morning

Half-hearted House limped to his closet, grabbed three of his shirts at random, which seemed neat despite their crinkled state, and plugged them together with one shabby jeans into his carpetbag to his residual stuff, whereof he thought, he might need during his weekend-trip to Vegas. First of all hundred dollar in one-dollar-notes... If Cuddy ordered him to give a lecture, than at least he could thank her for this doubtful honor by forcing her to a strip-club. House smirked.

Chapter 1: The state Nevada, god and Elvis

Three days later, Sunday morning

Carefully Cuddy opened her from sleep still heavy eyes a bit, just to screw them up immediately, as the bright light of Las Vegas´ morning-sun, which shined through a big window of the room, pierced her eyes. Her skull droned as if a full gaggle of building workers would treat it with jackhammers... Groaning she tried to insulate her eyes from the blinding sun with her left hand and flinched, as suddenly something cold metallic, which was wrapped around her ring finger, grazed over her cheek, while she realized at the same time, that the same hand had laid before on something warm and breathing... In a flash she opened her eyes again and starred at her ring finger, which was surrounded from a golden ring, and then at the warm breathing something next to her.

Oh, damn.


Oh. Damn.

Trying to retain her composure, she closed her eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. 'Stay calm, Lisa', she adjured herself. 'Just stay calm...'

That was the moment, when she realized, that she was naked.


'Forget the calmness...' hurried she sat up, snatched the loose blanked, which poorly covered her and House´s also naked body, and pressed it protectively against her chest. The building workers, which were still busy working on her skull, protested loudly against this sudden movement and started using diggers.

"Oh damn..." Cuddy mumbled quietly, pulled her legs to her body and leaned her hurting head against her knees. Uneasy she swayed her upper body back and forth, while she tried to find some information about the happenings of last night in her subconscious, but only the building workers answered her questions by causing her more pain. Then House suddenly moved next to her and she froze... 'Please don´t let him wake up.' she prayed silently. 'Please don´t let him wake up. Please-'

"Good morning, my darling sunshine." House sat up grinning.

Instead of answering or scolding him, because he didn´t seem to suffer from a hang over like she did, she presented him her be-ringed left hand without a comment. Scolding him could wait, till her own voice wouldn´t cause such a loud echo in her head...

"Oh damn." House pressed the air out of his lungs with a whoosh. He grabbed her hand with his right and hold it close to his face. "Cuddles, you´re wearing cheap emblazonment..." he gazed at her with wide eyes. "I´m shocked!" He laid his left hand in a melodramatic gesture on his heart.

Cuddy shot him a punitive look and pointed with a slight movement of her head, which she regretted immediately, at his own left hand, which still laid on his bare chest.

Only now House noticed his own ring. "Oh. Damn." As if he had burned himself, he let go of her hand.

A loud cheeping made both flinch. Cursing, House grabbed his cell, which laid blinking and cheeping on his night stand, while Cuddy covered her ears with her hands, a painful expression on her face.


"House?" a familiar voice came out of his cell.

"No, Wilson, here´s god." House rolled his eyes. "So do you wanna something special?- Other way I hang up now... Got lots of important things to do. Obviating floods, curing cancer, you know... Saving the world, the usual stuff."

"Fine, god, if you´re this busy, please be kind and connect me with House, will ya?" Wilson´s voice was drowned with sarcasm.

"Tell him to call you later." Cuddy said annoyed. The building workers in her head accomplished one hell of a job. Jealous she gazed at House, who obviously didn´t share her pain. Damn him for that.

House waved aside and placed one hand protectively over the mouthpiece, but to late. Wilson already recognized Cuddy´s voice.

"Is Cuddy with you?" Wilson sounded confused. "What is Cuddy doing at ten o´clock in the morning in your room?"

"The question should rather be, why are you calling me at fucking ten o´clock in the morning." House growled in the attempt to distract Wilson, but failed.

"Why is Cuddy in your room?" Wilson dug without mercy.

"Given that the last night was our wedding night, it would´ve been mean to kick her out, like usual, don´t you agree?"

Cuddy moaned hag-ridden, while Wilson gasped for air. "What?" he asked disbelievingly. "Did you just say wedding night?"

House nodded, then remembered that visual telephoning still wasn´t possible, so he added: "Yes, wedding night, Wilson. That´s the night directly after the wedding." Unnerved House rolled his eyes. Likewise a gesture that Wilson missed. "Something you should know bout better than me... You´ve got so much more practice..."

"Wed-ding." Wilson ascertained, as if he would doubt his sense of hearing. Or House´s sanity. "Should that mean, that you´re married to Cuddy?"

Again House wasted a cynical eye-rolling on Wilson. "Yes, Wilson, married. To Cuddy. And that in front of the state Nevada, god and Elvis. Whereas some people believe that the latter are the same..."

Beaten, Cuddy buried her face in her hands and groaned. House glanced at her frowning, before he turned to Wilson again, who was still silent from shock. "I need to hang up..." House explained dryly and arched a brow. "My dear wife needs my full attention, if you know what I mean..." Without leaving Wilson time to reply, he shut his cell and laid it back on the night stand. Carefully he touched Cuddy´s shoulder with his right hand. "Cuddy, are you all right?"

Stunned Cuddy lifted her head and fixated House with an angry look. "You mean besides the fact, that I woke up with a massive hang-over and married to my most annoying employee?" she hissed as loud as her hurting scull allowed her. Her eyes went small. "Why don´t you have a hang-over?"

"The benefit of long-lasting drug-abuse... The body adjusts to everything." House shrugged, snatched his Vicodin from the night stand, swallowed two pills dry and then handed the bottle to Cuddy.

She grumbled something, House couldn´t understand, swallowed one Vicodin, looked around the room searching, before she stood up, the thin blanked carefully wrapped around her body. She took her purse, which laid in front of the door, partly covered by her bra, which she lifted up also, blushing hardly.

House observed her smirking. "Darling, you don´t need to get dressed... Just let us enjoy our new marriage a bit..."

Cuddy considered shortly, if she should throw her purse after him, but then decided to better look for her cell in it. "I´m not dressing myself..."


She threw an old, damaged ball-pen at him. "I´m searching for my cell..."


"To call my attorney..."


"About the annulment..."

"An annulment after not even a day? Slow down, Britney..."

Cuddy glared at him over her shoulder and took her cell out of her purse. "You don´t honestly believe, that I´ll stay married to you."

"Why not? Don´t you love me any more?" Again House laid his hand over his heart. "I thought we had something special." he whined, then snorted arrogantly. "Maybe you missed the fact, but I just told Wilson, that we´re married, so the whole hospital knows " he glanced at an imaginary watch on his wrist. "NOW too... Do you really wanna tell them tomorrow that we´re already divorced?- Won´t seem much professional for a dean of medicine, right?"

Thoughtfully Cuddy let her cell sink and nibbled on her bottom lip. House was right, as unwillingly she had to admit it. Nobody would take her serious, if it would get public, that the married her worst employee, while being drunk. Damn! Again. "And what do you suggest?" she arched a brow. Just because she agreed with him, didn´t mean that she had to show him that. "Just staying married, maybe?"

"Why not? If Britney and Kevin and Jessica and Nick could make it, we´ll be just fine..."

"Both pairs are divorced, House."

"Yes, but first after being married for years! Let´s say, we´ll stay married for a half year, to retain your honor, and then we´ll explain, that we drifted apart, or I just married you to push my own carrier... Whichever you prefer." He grinned self-satisfied.

Suspiciously Cuddy frowned. "And what´s in this for you, House?"

"You mean except the warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach, you get, when you generously help fellow human beings?"

"The only thing, that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach, is a fresh muffin..."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Cuddy..." House shook his head with pity. "So cynical at your happiest day in your life?"

"House..." Her voice sounded admonitory.

"Then even the warm feeling you get, when the whole male hospital staff is jealous of you, cause you screw the hot boss..." he shrugged his shoulders relaxed.

"I. Won´t. Sleep with you, House."


"Excuse me?"

"You won´t sleep with me again, Cuddy. Or what do you think, we did last night?" He wriggled his eye brows suggestively.

"No sex, House." Cuddy repeated sternly, while she tried to repress the images of her and House naked on this bed, whereof she couldn´t tell if they were memories or just fantasies. She needed to discover, what really happened last night... She remembered, that she and House had gone to a fundraiser, a handsome smudgy rich man had organized... The same man hadn´t left her side the whole evening and tried in an inappropriate way to make a move on her...

"Will you tell that the male staff too?" House interrupted her thoughts.

Cuddy snorted. "That would crash our camouflage.- I also don´t discuss my sex life with my employees..."

"How should I know? At least you married one of your employers after getting drunk too..."

Cuddy ignored his comment and started to collect her clothes, which were randomly distributed in the room. House watched her in silence.

"If you won´t sleep with me, will you pay for my whores?" he asked then. "As a kind of matrimonial charge-back?"


"But we´ll stay married?"

"Yes." Cuddy growled and snatched her slip, which laid underneath House´s boxer-shorts, and blushed. Somehow this seemed like a bad omen for her marriage... She had a feeling, that House would arrogate a lot more from her for keeping up their camouflage than not talking bout her non-existing sex-life...

House smirked as he watched her gorgeous ass swinging from side to side in front of him. "Great, then I call Wilson and tell him to get us an espresso-machine as a wedding gift..."

I know, I know... Yesterday I wrote into my profile that I´m to busy studying for writing anything and now I post a long new chapter... I´m SUCH a weak person!- I really tried to work on my uni-projects, but Huddy was stronger than me :-D

So please be a doll and remunerate my lack of study-disciple with lots of reviews, so I know that the time it took me to write this wasn´t completely wasted... ;-P

PS: I´ll give everyone who reviews a preview on following chapters as a little 'thank you' (Which only proves how desperate I am for feedback... I already bride you to get some ;-P)