Ginger Snaps

by icypinkpop

Pairing: Cartman/Kyle

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. I used to own Kenny, but he died. -cries-

Authors Note/Warnings: -rubs hands together- Okay, so here's my first South Park fic ever. I figured a nice little oneshot could start me off. Not that I ever expect to get too serious with it. It is SP, after all.

Expect slash, kissing, language, but nothing too graphic. Just my favorite odd couple from one of my favorite shows. I hope they're IC.


"God dammit, Fatass, give me my math homework back!"

Yelling out, Kyle made another attempted grab at his stolen paper, green eyes gleaming with anger when his adversary backed away. He growled, swiping a red curl out of his face. That bastard never changed. Hell, they were in highschool and Cartman still went out of his way to make his life miserable. "Give it back!"

Sneering in triumph, the larger of the two made a rather spectacular leap onto Kyle's bed, holding the crumpled sheet teasingly above its owners head. "Hm, I dunno, Kyle, maybe you should beg for it first." Cartman gave a bit of a leer, placing two hands on the paper as he prepared to rip it in two. "Or, maybe I should do as you say. Jew-boy needs his good grades."

Livid, Kyle jumped onto the mattress himself and swung a sharp kick at Cartman's legs, watching the heftier teen fall face-first into the pillows. Snickering in triumph, he slid his hands under his enemy's torso, yanking the abused assignment out from underneath the larger body. Only when said sheet tore cleanly in half did Kyle realize just how angry he was.

"You fucking fatass!" He screamed, torn fragments of paper fluttering forgotten to the side as he proceeded to slap and smack effeminately at the larger teen. Huffing, Cartman flipped himself back over and reciprocated the assault, quickly snatching Kyle's gloved hands. "Damn it, Kyle, stop being a Jew!" he commanded, holding his attacker back, brown hair mussed from its previously perfect swoop. "Calm down, ginger boy!"

Rendered speechless by this particular insult, Kyle simply watched Cartman in shock, all movement stilling, ushanka askew over his red-locked forehead. His lips parted as he stared back, eyes wandering down to where the fatass held his hands. Rage fading into complete and utter embarrassment, Kyle gave an unintended gasp and quickly averted his gaze, freckled cheeks darkening to a rather spectacular shade of pink.

"Fatass," he retorted lamely, gaze moving back to trace the coffee-colored strands above Cartman's eyes. He stiffened, trying unsuccessfully to appear menacing. It wasn't fair. That anti-Semitic bastard had no right to such beautiful hair.

Wait, what?

As humiliated as he could ever remember feeling, Kyle let his eyes fall down to the space between their bodies, realizing suddenly that his favorite insult for Cartman didn't exactly apply anymore. His rival had thinned out rather spectacularly over the years, replacing fat with muscle and awkwardness with a sort of manly confidence. The more formidable of the two boys had retained a bit of his soft stomach, but there was something about this particular remnant that Kyle couldn't force himself to hate.

Gaze trailing back up to meet dark brown eyes, the Jew gave a little shiver, unable to pull away, to escape the penetrating gaze Cartman seemed to have.

Penetrating. He blushed. Poor choice of words.

Snapping back to reality, Kyle gasped and tried unsuccessfully to free himself from the firm grasp, surprised by the fact that Cartman seemed loath to make even the slightest movement. However, he was confused more than anything by his own ability to do so. Why wasn't he running away? Why wasn't he struggling? Why wasn't he-


Feeling a warm mouth latch suddenly over his own, Kyle went limp and breathless, body trembling slightly as he was gently flipped onto his back.

The smaller boy gasped when mittened fingers found their way into his hair, holding his head in place as hot lips continued to press against his mouth. He shuddered, accidentally inhaling a lungful of his assaulter's scent, a surprised moan leaving his throat.

This couldn't be happening. There was no way.

Shaking his head back and forth in denial, Kyle tried halfheartedly to shift out from underneath the larger body, finding himself pinned to the spot. Slowly realizing that his self control was fighting a losing battle under Cartman's lips, the Jew simply gave up his struggle, one hand sliding up to weakly grip the other's shoulder.

Kyle, eventually running short of oxygen, forced his lips away from the assaulting ones, head turning to the side as he desperately tried to avoid Cartman's gaze. He sucked in another breath of tantalizing air, viridian eyes lidded despite his futile efforts to keep them narrowed. "I hate you," he muttered, face a shade similar to the fierce red of his hair. "D-don't call me ginger."

A chuckle reaching his ears, the Jew looked up at Cartman's face in shock, suddenly finding himself lost in the chocolate gaze. "Fine then, Kyle," the larger addressed him, brow cocked, a triumphant smile pulling at lush lips. A strong finger stroked its way over the smaller's cheek. "Good enough?"

Unable to keep himself from arching up slightly, Kyle broke out into a reluctant grin, hand sliding over Cartman's stomach.

"Good enough."


X-x Phew, hard to write. Opinions, anyone?