The Way I Loved You
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or lyrics.
He is sensible and so incredible
and all my single friends are jealous
he says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
he opens up my door and I get into his car
and he says you look beautiful tonight
and I feel perfectly fine
It is finally Friday night and I'm driving to my apartment. It's pouring rain outside. I hope Chase isn't too worried. I check my phone and notice 7 missed calls and 4 voicemails, all from Chase. I don't feel like calling him back because I'm almost home anyways. I should feel happy that I now have a great boyfriend like Chase. I think about my relationship with Chase and the relationship I had with House… I have to keep reminding myself that I'm with Chase now. I have been for about a month. He convinced me to go out with him a few months after my break up with House. He started taking me on dates every Friday night. He is a perfect gentleman, always treating me like a princess. When Foreman, Chase and I went out one night with two of my girl friends, both Hannah and Katie made sure to tell me how lucky I was to have a guy like Chase. He is always telling me about how much I mean to him and always complimenting me.
he respects my space
and never makes me wait
and he calls exactly when he says he will
he's close to my mother
talks business with my father
he's charming and endearing
and I'm comfortable
I'm very content and comfortable with Chase. But for some reason when I spend alone time at apartment my thoughts always drift to House. There is something about him that I'm drawn to. I miss him. I think he misses me too. The truth is, I not only miss him, but I'm still totally and completely in love with him. I have been slowly falling for him since I saw the passion behind those beautiful blue eyes. House may act like an asshole most of the time, but occasionally you can see past his gruff exterior. The way I loved, and still love House goes so much deeper than the love I have for Chase.
he can't see the smile I'm faking
and my heart's not breaking
cause I'm not feeling anything at all
and you were wild and crazy
just so frustrating intoxicating
complicated, got away by some mistake
House and I broke up for some stupid reason. We had a fight but this one wasn't just about how I get too emotionally attached or him not caring at all. It started out that way and one thing led to another and Stacy came up. I said that he probably treated her better than he treated me; I knew it wasn't true but I was angry. He yelled, I yelled, he yelled some more and I ran out of his apartment crying. He never came after me, no phone calls or anything. Things now are back to the way they were before we got together, but a little bit awkward. He has made a few attempts to talk to me about what happened but I turn him down. I tell him that I'm with Chase now. He gets that jealous look on his face so that makes me feel a little better. I feel myself wanting to give in and apologize but I try to stay strong. I think about our other fights and how we always ended up screaming and fighting then having great make up sex. That's what we did. House is a complicated man; it was very frustrating to deal with him sometimes when he was being closed off and distant. I was just starting to break through those barriers when we had the fight. I realize I'm an idiot for staying apart from him for so long. We are both too stubborn for our own good. No matter how many times that man makes me cry, I always go back to him as soon as he shows any sign of remorse, he never says the words "I'm sorry" but I'm so in love with him I don't even have to hear those words from him. A look on his face or an affectionate touch tells me so much more.
I miss screamin', and fightin', and kissin' in the rain
it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.
I'm so in love that I acted insane.
And that's the way I loved you.
Breakin' out and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
As I walk into my apartment I realize what I need to do. Chase is there looking eager and worried. I can't even fake a smile when I walk in and see him. I know he can tell right away from the look on my face that we are over. He asks what he did wrong and I explain that I just didn't love him the same way I love House. By the time I'm through with convincing Chase that it really is over, and get him out of my apartment it is 2 in the morning. I don't care, I need to see House. I know that he is awake, either watching soap opera re-runs or playing piano and drinking scotch. I drive in the rain to House's apartment as fast as I can, cursing myself all the way there for falling in love with a man like him. As I knock on his apartment door, the faint sounds being played on the piano come to a stop. I hear him limp over to answer the door. He opens the door partially peering out at me with those stunning blue eyes. I stare right back at him and I know he can tell exactly what I am thinking. (He always can) He opens the door all the way open now and keeps staring at me. I open my mouth to say something but before any words come out I feel his lips on mine. In that moment all is forgiven and I know he loves me the way I love him.