Law and Sex – Mike Logan, Part 3
Rating: Adults Only
Genre: Slash, Smut
Author's note: part three of the Mike Logan/Jimmy Meloni story. These stories are meant for adults only. Live Journal hosts the uncensored versions.
Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood. - Coretta Scott King
Jimmy opened the front door. Mike Logan was standing there with a shit eating grin and a large pizza.
Jimmy tried to slam the door shut but a foot stopped it. He turned and walked away. "Get the fuck out."
"Jimmy, come on buddy, don't be mad at me." Mike had a bag in his hand. He pulled out the bottle. "I got Bacardi rum just for you. We are having rum and cokes tonight."
"Get out before my folks come home."
Mike smiled. "I called your mom yesterday; she told me that they would be gone this weekend to visit her sister who just had a baby. And she was very happy to hear that I would spend the weekend; so that you wouldn't be alone."
Jimmy stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Mike. "You invited yourself over for the weekend? Are you fucking crazy? I told you I never wanted to speak to you again. Now, get out!"
"Do you know that you start lisping when you get mad? It's very cute." Mike grinned and dodged the sneaker coming toward his head.
Jimmy rushed up the stairs but could hear Mike following him. He tried to get into his room but Mike who was bigger and stronger than him already; slammed the door opened. It hit Jimmy right in the nose and he went flying backward. He landed on the floor. "Aww...you asshole..!"
"Jimmy…!" Mike went over and immediately tried to survey if there was blood. "You're not bleeding. I'm sorry. Shit, this is your fault."
"My fault…?" Jimmy sat up and pushed Mike away. "You do realize that you have some serious psychological problems! You hit ME in the face with the door and it's my fault? You tell me that you love me; but then you go around and fucked every catholic slut from St. Matthew's! But when I get mad about it you tell me that it's my fault. That I told you that you should explore your sexuality!"
Mike didn't say a word. He knew he was being rightfully reprimanded but it wasn't really all his fault was it? "But I told you I wasn't a fag."
"Yes, I know, the great Mike Logan isn't a fag. I didn't ask you to wear a god damn Stonewall t-shirt. However, you could show me a little respect! I've been with you for six fucking years! When you get dumped; you come crawling back to MY bed. When you need a car to take some slut to the movies; you borrow MY car. And then; when you're in a nervous panic because you poked some new bitch without a rubber; you ask me for the 200 bucks for the abortion!"
"I have you the money back. It was a false alarm." Mike put his hands together. "Who else am I supposed to go to Jimmy? Like you just said; you're my best friend. My dad is so busy keeping my mom in check; he doesn't have time for me. You know I love you like a …brother but with certain benefits."
Jimmy sighed. "I'm not sure if that's disgusting or hot. Mike, it's all right – I get it – you're not a fag. I know that I was always hoping you would like dick more than pussy. But it's obvious that pussy prevailed. Good for you and good luck; I will spend some dreary future looking for guys in rest rooms and movie theaters."
"I thought you were going to go to San Francisco?"
"I don't want to be a San Francisco fag – I'm a Manhattan fag! I like it here; this is my fucking city. Anyway, things will eventually change. Gay people are going to revolt. You wait and see. But, what are you doing here? I thought you were starting the Academy in a few days. Not to mention; you have a girlfriend too. What's her name…? Juliana?"
"Julie…" Mike got up and went to Jimmy's bed. He sprawled his tall body on it. His green eyes were glistening. The moment of truth had arrived. "Jimmy, I can't see you anymore."
Jimmy stood up and looked down at Mike. "Jesus fucking Christ, Mikey did you knock her up already? Are you getting married? You can't do that – what about the police Academy! You have ambition remember! My dad is going to help you all the way. He's promised. I've got money saved up; we can take her to the clinic. Shit, I will throw her down a fucking flight of stairs before I will let her trap you with this pregnant catholic girl bullshit!"
Mike sat up and grabbed Jimmy by the arms. He pulled him close to his body. Hugging him, he grinned. "You would commit a fucking crime like that just for me? Even with that cute lisp; you sounded serious and menacing. But she's not pregnant. I don't plan on getting married anytime soon. Jimmy, I can't see you anymore because OF the Academy."
Jimmy sighed. "You can see me on the side like you just did in High School. Big deal, you never carried before if someone thought you were gay for hanging out with me."
"I'm not gay."
Jimmy sat up on the bed. He looked at Mike. "Yes, you're not gay. That's my point."
Mike frowned. "But I can't risk anyone that I'm gay because of you. You know if I see you I'm going to want to fuck you. Listen Jimmy, this is important to me. I want to be a cop. And there are no such things as gay cops."
"Fine, I heard you – now you can go home; I'm sure your mother needs you to run to the liquor store for her or something. Get the fuck out you piece of Irish shit."
Mike smiled. He knew Jimmy was really mad when he cussed him out and mentioned he was Irish. He sat up and faced Jimmy. He gripped Jimmy's face in his hands. "Cuss me out later Jimmy. But tonight, let's have one last time Jimmy; you and me. I want you one last time. Please…"
Jimmy sighed and nodded. How could he say no?
Sex with Jimmy was different.
Mike realized how much he liked sex after doing it with Jimmy. Sex was great. But, he knew he wasn't gay because sex with women was good too, but different. There was something being held back when he was with a girl. Or maybe he just didn't meet the girl or woman that he wouldn't have to hold back from yet.
But sex with Jimmy was great. They knew what felt good; they weren't afraid to try things. Nothing was holding him back.
He put Jimmy's legs on his shoulders. They stole his mom's KY Jelly and used that as lubricant. Mike had covered his cock with it and rubbed some on Jimmy's asshole. When he started to penetrate Jimmy's hole; he could feel it resisting. "Relax Jimmy, god you're so tight, I don't want to hurt you."
"It's all right Mikey. I don't care if you hurt me – at least when you're gone the pain will stay with me. Come on Mikey – I want it…!" Jimmy was breathing hard. His fingers clutched the sheets underneath them. He looked up into Mike's handsome face. It never occurred to him that one day he would never see it in his bed again.
Sliding inside, Mike heard Jimmy gasp but he didn't stop. He pushed until his greased cock was inside all the way. His balls touched the bottom of Jimmy's ass. He held Jimmy's legs and started to thrust. It was tighter than ever before – god Jimmy was going to be sore later. But he didn't stop; he couldn't stop. "Fuck Jimmy – Oh damn baby, I'm going to miss you. OH God…"
Jimmy arched his back. It was he was being ripped in two; but slowly the pain was subsiding into aching pleasure. He reached down to grab himself.
Jimmy started stroking himself. "Harder Mikey, come on – be a man – give it to me hard one last time."
Mikey slapped Jimmy's ass and thrust hard enough that the bed slammed against the wall. "You want it hard like that…? Like that…?"
"Fuck yes – hard – hurt me Mikey…!" Jimmy started to tremble. He felt his body convulse with pleasure. He started to come all over his chest. "OH Fuck…Mikey!"
Mike could feel Jimmy coming. He started coming too. Mike bit Jimmy's leg that was on his shoulder. It wasn't until he tasted the blood that he stopped.
"Ow…! Oh God…Fuck!" Jimmy felt Mike bite him. He was now dizzy with pain and pleasure. He knew he was going to black out; it was like sinking down a black hole.
When Jimmy finally came back to reality Mike was on top of him. He pushed the guy off to one side. "Mike, get off me – you're fucking heavy."
Mike grabbed Jimmy and kissed him. They kissed for a while. Eventually they were coming up for air. "That was incredible Jimmy; did I hurt you too much?"
Jimmy shook his head. "I'm going to be all right. But it's very sore. We can't do it again, well at least not in my butt. Maybe your butt...?"
"I don't like it in the butt. But for you, this weekend, I'll do anything. Just ask me and I'll give you whatever you want." Mike moved Jimmy's bangs to the side. "You know that I love you right?"
"Why the fuck did you bite me?" Jimmy's leg hurt even more than his asshole.
"I was marking you for life. You will never forget me now; that's going to leave a scar." Mike smiled.
"How the fuck was I ever going to forget you Michael Logan? You have rattled my world forever."
Mike reached out and took Jimmy's hand. "We will meet up later. You're going to be some fancy rich lawyer and I will be this well respected handsome detective."
Jimmy shook his head. "You have it all planned out; don't you?"
"Yes, I'm sorry about the way things have to be now. I do love you."
"In your own way, yes I know you love me. But you just don't love me enough to give up being a cop? Why don't you try something else Mikey? And then maybe we can stay together. I could make you happy. I know I could." Jimmy hated to beg like this but he couldn't give Mikey up without a fight.
"What, you think I would make a good doctor or maybe I should be an architect? Come on Jimmy, I've always wanted to be a cop." Mike kissed Jimmy's forehead. "You ready for Cornell? I knew you would be accepted. You're a fucking genius."
"Hold on…" Jimmy got up and rushed into the bathroom.
Mikey wiped his dick with the bed sheet. He made sure Jimmy wasn't looking. He hated when Mike did that on his bed. Mike snuggled under the covers and lifted them when Jimmy appeared. "You all right…?"
Jimmy got beside Mike. "I'm fine. Hurts and I won't shit right for a few days."
"Too much information…" Mike said with face. "I guess once I start the Academy there's going to be a lot of gross stuff I will have to study. My dad tells me all kinds of weird stories of shit he's had to deal with as a cop."
"Did you tell him yet of your aspirations to be a detective?"
Jimmy shrugged. "Is your mom happy that you're going to the Academy?"
"I'm not sure. She looked at me and in a typical drunken slur said 'another asshole cop in the family' and poured herself another vodka tonic." Mike frowned. "Once I start work and making money; I'm out of that fucking house. I don't want to see that cunt ever again."
"Mike, are you aware what the starting pay is for cops? You're not going to be able to afford much in Manhattan. Do you know what the starting pay for a lawyer is going to be for me?" Jimmy smiled. "Maybe after you graduate we can be roommates."
"Jimmy, I told you…" Mike said softly. He put an arm around his friend and lover. "Don't make this hard to do. You're going to be all right."
"But maybe…" Jimmy had started crying again.
"No fucking maybe, I know it's not possible. Some guy got caught living with his boyfriend; he got fucked up very hard for it by the other rookies. That shit isn't going to happen to me! I'm not doing it. I want to be a cop!" Mike could feel he was getting very angry and upset now.
"You're probably hearing bullshit urban myth! I bet the fucking Academy has all kinds of fucking stories like that to scare any gay guys from joining."
"Your fucking dad told me! He said it happened in his Academy class. He knew the fucking rookie that got busted." Mike realized what he said and sighed.
Jimmy furrowed his brow in confusion. "My dad told you? Why would my dad tell you that story?"
Mike sat up against the headboard. "Your dad told me because he knows about us. He's always known about us. Jimmy, your dad knows you're gay. He wanted to know if I was a fag too. I told him I wasn't but that I loved you. He said I had to let you go if I was going to take being a cop serious. Your dad said I couldn't have both. That it was best for both of us to just end this right now. My dad would have kicked me out if he knew about me having sex with you! Det. Meloni is awesome! You're lucky Jimmy; don't be mad at him. He doesn't hate you for the gay thing. He thinks you're going to be very successful when you finish college. Come on Jimmy say something…!"
Jimmy turned to his side. He didn't bother to wipe his tears this time. "How could he tell the one person I love most in this world to leave me? How could he…?"
"Things are going to be all right Jimmy. We will get together again soon. You will see. When you need me one day; I will be the detective coming to your rescue." Mike said and put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder.
"Det. Logan, according to this man's emergency information, your name appears as next of kin." Dr. Rodgers said in a low voice. She pulled the sheet down.
Mike pursed his lips together. He took a sudden step back and turned to face the wall. He put a hand over his mouth.
Captain Cragen gave the M.E. a look to give them privacy. He waited until Elizabeth was out of the room before going over to his detective. "Mikey…?"
"Jimmy Meloni, we grew up together. He's a lawyer. What happened?" Mike turned and took a look at his dead friend. He reached out and touched the cold dead cheek.
"According to the cops at the scene, it looks like a hate crime." Cragen waited before saying anything more; he wasn't sure what Logan knew about his friend.
"Where…?" Mike touched the bangs on Jimmy's forehead. "Why…?"
Captain Cragen sighed. "Your friend and his companion were leaving a gay bar in the Village. Were heading toward their car; a bystander heard someone yell 'there goes AIDS' and tires come to screeching stop. Whoever hit Jimmy with the bat killed him with one hit. The other guy with Jimmy is at Mt. Sinai in a coma. I'm sorry Mikey. This city has gone nuts with the bashings lately. You know me – live and let live…"
Mike sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeve. He looked over at Captain Cragen; he trusted the man from the beginning. He was like a father to him. "I went through some weird shit growing up. You know that right Don. Things got worse when Krolinsky came into my life. And then one day I meet Jimmy. I spent a week watching the fucking church; I had a feeling that Krolinsky wouldn't keep his claws off Jimmy. And of course I was right. I tell Krolinsky if he touches Jimmy; I would get my dad's gun and kill him."
Cragen listened intently. He let the other man vent his secrets out.
"I thought I was saving him but instead he saved me. My home was so bad; I would have eventually killed myself. But, Jimmy was my safe haven from my folks. His dad was a detective and the reason I got inspired to go for my gold shield. His old man got me into the academy as soon as I was ready for it. Jimmy's mom set the table for four even if they weren't sure I was coming over. And then I realized I was a horny teenager. We sneak beer into Jimmy's bedroom during a sleepover and we went from kissing to more…much more. It was incredible because I loved him. I met girls and realized I loved girls too. So, one day I fix Jimmy up with this girl who was practically a slut at 14. He couldn't get it up."
"Mike, you know what the shrinks are saying about sex – or sexuality. It's different for everyone. Teenagers will explore their sexuality. And, nobody is 100 percent anything anymore." Cragen stood next to Mike; he put an arm around the tall man's shoulders.
"Two weeks before going into the Academy; I tell Jimmy that it's over between us for good. That NYPD cops don't have sex with other men. It wasn't possible for us to see each other while I joined the force. It was so hard to let go of him. I really loved him. Jimmy begged me. He said he could make me happy. But, I wanted to be a cop and I was so afraid that loving him would screw it up. I used to protect Jimmy all the time. Bullies who knew he was a fag were always trying to push him around. But I was at his house so much everyone believed it when we said we were cousins. And if anyone looked at him wrong; they knew they had to deal with me." Det. Logan put the sheet over Jimmy's head.
"Mike, you can take a few days off. Does Jimmy have family?"
Mike nodded and sniffled. "His parents retired to Florida. Oh god, how can I tell them Jimmy's dead? They are going to hate me. I promised to keep an eye on him. They were so good to me Don. I failed them and Jimmy."
"Take the time off you need and when you're ready to come back we can work on giving Jimmy some justice. I'm going to transfer this case to the 2-7; and if you don't mind, I want to work this one with you. I'm a pretty good detective." Cragen squeezed Mike's shoulder. "But, promise me something Mikey…"
Mike turned his puffy red tinged green eyes toward his captain. "Yeah…?"
"Don't ever turn away love that comes to you. When someone loves you and you love them; you grab that by the fucking horns and don't let go. And everyone else can go fuck themselves…! You hear me son?"
Mike nodded. "Yes sir…"
"I will give you a few minutes alone with Jimmy. I will wait outside.
Come out when you're ready." Cragen left through the double doors of the examination room. He immediately headed toward Rodger's office to make a few phone calls.
Mike didn't pull the sheet down again. He couldn't bear to see Jimmy's dead face. But he did reach out to touch the cold hand. He squeezed it. "I'm going to find the guys who did this to you Jimmy. I swear on Dad's grave I will do it. I'm never going to let any bastard get away with this on my watch. You were a good guy and a great friend. I love you. Goodbye Jimmy – but I'm sure we will meet again."
Taking a deep breath and wiping his face, Mike Logan put an arm around Megan. She had just placed flowers at James Meloni's grave. It read "Beloved son, friend and lover" 1954-1991.
Megan rubbed her growing belly. "If it's a boy; can we name him Jimmy? I think we should; you did say that he saved your life. I think it's a way to honor his memory."
Mike kissed Megan's cheek. "Thank you so much. I would really like that and you know what; I think Jimmy would have liked you."
"Oh, what about me would he like exactly?" Megan Wheeler-Logan asked her ex-partner but new husband.
"The same thing I do…those freckles." Mike said with a grin. "Come on, I will take you back to the precinct. I love showing up and seeing the look of disbelief on Captain Ross' face."
Megan shook her head and held her husband's strong hand. "You should see the looks I get from Eames."
Mike laughed and held her tight. Taking love by the horns had proved to a lot more fun that he could ever imagine.