Title :- CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU
Warning :- mpreg , wincest
A/N :- in my little world, men can get pregnant and have babies in the same way as women.
Disclaimer :- i dont own these wonderful boys. i wish i could own Jared someday:D. they all belong to kripke and the CW. i am just borrowing
them for the time being and having little fun. i only own my mistakes and nothing else as it is totally un-betad. so please dont
Sam groaned as he lowered himself gingerly on the chair of his current motel room. Exhaustion mixed with pain , hurt , loss made him more tired than he should be – afterall he had simply gone for a coffee and a sandwitch to the diner just across the road. He didn't even take the car, thought he could manage it. But clearly he was wrong. The simple task of walking , crossing the street , standing on the line for his order and then walking back to his motel took so much out of him.
He let out a weary sigh and booted up his laptop. 'Need to get Dean outta Hell' became his mantra for the last four months. He had cut connection with everyone known to him , even Bobby. Sometimes he felt bad for leaving Bobby like that when the old hunter wanted nothing but to make sure Sam was okay. Sometimes he felt lonely –no scratch that—he always felt lonely , alone without Dean. A sharp kick in his stomach brought him out of his thoughts. He looked down at his swollen stomach and smiled . Rubbing circles over where his child just kicked him , Sam murmured softly , " sorry baby. I know you are always with me. Sorry I thought that I was alone and lonely. I guess I just miss your Poppy too much. But don't you worry baby , I'll bring your Poppy back. I will."
When his baby inside decided to give him a break from the kicks , Sam turned his attention back to his research – to his Dean. But fate was as cruel as ever to him and even after two long hours of research , he couldn't come up with something definite. And anymore thoughts of further research had to be put to rest due to his back pain. Sighing Sam pushed himself up from the chair , awkwardly, one hand coming to rest on his 9 month pregnant stomach , while with the other he massaged his lower back.. There seemed to be a permanent ache there , and no matter how much he rested or rubbed his waist , it didn't go away. And now Sam was getting tired of it. Tired of being pregnant , tired of being sore and tired of being without Dean. 'Dean' – his brother's name itself is enough to drive him to tears. What has he not done for Sam ? Gave up his childhood , gave up his own ambitions , hell he even sold his soul for Sam and is now somewhere burning in the pits of Hell. And what did Sam do for him? Left him to go to college..for a fucking normal life….couldn't even keep his promise that he won't let Dean go to Hell. And now couldn't even find a damn fucking way to get him back , couldn't even----- Sam's thoughts stopped abruptly as a sudden strong wave of pain invaved his belly , taking him by total surprise. "ow!" , he moaned in pain as he hunched over a little , holding his belly. But the pain was gone as soon as it came , and Sam let out a breath , he didn't know he was holding. He stood up straight and arched his back , throwing his HUGE tummy out , to work out the kinks from his lower back. The constant ache there reminded him of Dean and once again made him sad. Dean would have taken so much care of him , if he had been there. Dean would have fussed him and perhaps convinced him to stay in bed and not move at all. Shaking his head sadly , Sam slowly limped towards the bed. He placed two pillows to lean on and then sat down there , groaning. His back twinged mercilessly , again. He desperately wished Dean to be there to massage his back and his feet. He remembered how great massage Dean used to give him everytime he had a cramp or pulled a muscle or got hurt . Sam's eyes teared up as he remembered the time when he had slipped in the shower.
It was closely after Jess' death and he and Dean were on road. That particular hunt had taken a toll on Sam , and by the time they had reached the motel , Sam couldn't wait to lie down and sleep for a month. But his big brother wouldn't hear any of it and shooed him off to take a shower. He didn't know what happened but figured that he must have gone dizzy and the next thing he knew , he was flat on his ass with a worried sick looking Dean calling out his name. With his senses back , Sam had felt the pain coming from his left shoulder , which had collided with the bath-tub. He remembered Dean was up the whole night at his bedside, altering between ice pack and heating pad on his injured shoulder , which Sam later figured , he could barely move.
Another kick to his right side , made Sam wince as he rubbed his swell. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he leaned more over the pillows and squeezed the small of his back , in the hope to squeeze the pain away. "common kiddo , don't hurt me so much baby , I can't take it anymore sweet-pie…please? Just calm down baby and go to sleep." , he cooed softly as he himself continued to shed tears. " I cannot do it without you Dean , I just can't. please I need you babe , I need you . our baby needs you Dean , please come back to me. Mom , Dad if you both are listening to my prayers , please make Dean come back to me …please…I cannot do this without him." , he wept , hugging his belly finally claimed him and he gave in to his tiredness.
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