Summary - This story is very dark and will contain violence and scenes that may be difficult reading.
Set after Kara returns from Caprica – oh and she never met Sam (yay!)
She'd walked this route many times before. Was familiar with each of the corridors that she followed; but never before had she dreaded the destination quite as much. Each step was taking her closer and she'd never been as tempted to turn around and run the other way – and this was the first time in quite a while she was walking this journey of her own volition.
She paused for a moment before she walked the last few meters. She took a couple of deep breaths. 'I can do this, I can do this,' she said to herself. She walked up to the Marine at the entrance to the brig. "Corporal, stand down?" He complied. "Can you open the cell and then leave us alone for a couple of hours?" He nodded. "Thanks."
She waited until the Marine had left the room after following her instructions before she entered the room herself. She looked towards the cell that was now unlocked and saw him lying on the cot, facing away from her. He was almost in a fetal position, and she could feel the pain flowing from him in waves. She stepped into his cell and walked over to him. Even in sleep he looked distraught. She reached out to touch his face but something stopped her from actually doing it. He seemed too different to the man she'd left just a few weeks earlier, but she knew he'd been through a lot. She finally touched his face, and was pleased when he moved his face into her caress. "Lee, you need to wake up," he didn't move, so she repeated it again slightly louder. His eyes fluttered open but other than that he didn't move. Not even away from her hand… at least, not for a minute or so. Then he rolled over, away from her and further towards the wall.
"What do you want Kara? Come to gloat?" his tone was bitter.
"Do you think I'd do that? Really?" Despite everything she was hurt by his cool manner. He said nothing but had the decency to look a little ashamed.
"How are you?" It was a silly question – but she didn't really know what else to say; where to start.
"I've been better… I missed you."
"I missed you too. I wish I'd been here… here for you."
He rolled onto his back and looked at her. She returned his gaze and saw the depth of emotions in his eyes. He was hurting so much and she knew she was only going to make it worse. She had so much to tell him – and everything she was going to say was only going to add to the pain that was already showing in those beautiful blue eyes. She grasped his hand and gave it a small squeeze.
"Do you mean that?" his voice sounded so small, she could barely hear it.
"Of course." She nudged him with her hand. "Shift over…" He sat up and she sat next to him. They sat shoulder to shoulder. For a few minutes they just sat there – both caught up in their own thoughts. "What happened after I left, Lee? How did you end up here?"
"Surely they've told you… everybody knows about my mutiny by now."
"Yeah they told me – but I want to hear it from you. I want to know your side of the story."
"There's not much to tell really. You jumped away back to Caprica and I returned to Galactica. I was angry and worried. I went up to CIC and my father told me that you'd left at the request of the President. That she'd managed to convince you to leave us and to return to retrieve the Arrow of Apollo." Her hand slipped into his and again a small squeeze was exchanged.
"I'm sorry Lee. I was so angry at your father. Angry that he'd lie to us all. Even you and me. And the president was pretty convincing. She told me about the scriptures, about her dying of cancer and I believed her. I went to get the arrow because I thought it'd help us find Earth. I didn't do it to hurt you and I knew you probably wouldn't forgive me for what I did – but it was a chance I had to take."
"I do forgive you. My life's pretty messed up at the moment, but of that I'm certain. I was angry at first but I knew you had to have a good reason to do what you did."
Things were silent again for a couple of minutes. Kara started the conversation again. "So what happened after you got to CIC?"
"Dad had just finished talking to the president. He told Tigh and I what she'd done. He ordered her arrest – essentially ending her presidency. So Tigh and I were cleared to take a Raptor to Colonial One with some marines. But something happened on the way to the hangar bay. I began to realize that what we'd been told to do was wrong. That we shouldn't be arresting Roslin but should be seeing if what she said was true. That maybe the arrow would help us find Earth – what harm was there in giving it a chance? I think that part of the reason I changed my mind was because of you…"
"Yeah… I knew that you must've believed her story to have gone back to Caprica. It can't have been an easy decision for you to make. It can't have been easy for you to follow through with it. You must have seen some horrible things back on Caprica."
Kara changed the subject, "So once you realized it was a mistake – what did you do?" She knew the answer but it avoided answering his question.
"I pulled a gun on Tigh and held it to his head. The marines dragged me here and this is where I've been ever since."
"Has anyone been to see you? Have they said how long you're going to be here?"
"The only people I've seen have been the marines guarding this cell – and only then when they bring in my food. No one's spoken to me; in fact, they go out of their way to ensure they don't talk to me. So needless to say I've no idea how long I'm here for. Maybe until we get back to Earth…" He smiled slightly. His voice faltered slightly on his next statement. "Even my dad hasn't been to see me. He must hate me, be so disappointed with me."
Kara noticed the tears in his eyes and the look on his face brought tears to her eyes. She put her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her shoulder. They sat there for a while in silence, taking comfort from each other. "There's something you need to know, Lee." He said nothing. "A lot happened after you were brought to the brig." Again no response. She stopped there… unable to start telling him. Unsure how to say it.
"Tell me, Kara. What is it that you're trying to say? Did something happen on Caprica?"
"Not much happened on Caprica… I found the arrow, killed one of the blonde Cylons, and found Helo. Nothing else to say about it really… that's not what I was trying to say though. A lot of things happened here on Galactica after you got put in the brig." She paused. "Boomer and Racetrack destroyed the basestar. When they got back they reported to CIC. Tigh had gone back there after your… after you were taken to the brig." She turned to face him – but looked down at his left hand which was in both of hers. "Boomer's a Cylon, Lee."
"What??" he was stunned. She didn't say anything. Just looked into his eyes. A comprehension came over his face. "What did she do?" Again his voice was very quiet.
"She grabbed her gun… she shot your dad, Lee. Twice. In the chest. That's why he hasn't been down to see you."
"Is he still alive?" She almost had to strain to hear him.
Her heart broke with those words. This time it was him grasping her hands. Trying to gain some strength from her – strength she willingly gave to him. "He's alive… just. Another basestar arrived while he was being taken to sickbay and the fleet had to jump away. There was a mix up with the jump co-ordinates and Galactica ended up separated from them. Cottle was over on Cloud Nine and so…" her voice trailed off. "He's unconscious now… has been since it happened." Tears slid down her face and even more fell when she saw the pain etched on Lee's face. She leaned forward and placed her lips on his. She hesitated, unsure of what she was doing, and yet it also seemed so right. Lee seemed just as confused for a few seconds and then his right hand came up and caressed her face, much in the same way as she had to his face earlier. Then he kissed her back. As the seconds passed, the kiss became more passionate. Both of them were sharing their pain and giving comfort to the other.
It was Lee that broke the kiss. He left his forehead resting against hers. His hand was still on her cheek and he wiped away her tears. "Don't cry, Kara, please."
"You are, too."
"We make a good pair don't we…?"
"Yes we do, Lee…" and with that one small sentence they both knew that everything between them had changed.
"Why didn't anyone tell me about my dad?"
"Tigh ordered them not to. I think that's the reason that no-one's been to see you. And why the marines say nothing to you. None of them wanted to lie to your face, Lee."
"I can't believe that he'd do that…" he suddenly went pale, "You don't think he's doing it because he knows my dad wouldn't want to see me, do you?"
Kara lifted his face so he was looking directly into her eyes. "Do not, ever, think that, Lee!" She stared into his eyes until she saw what she'd said had registered with him, "Tigh is doing this because he's stupid. Your dad would want to see you, Lee. Your dad loves you. He always has and he always will. You have to believe that?"
"I don't know Kara. My relationship with my father has been a little strained… ever since… well ever since Zac died." He looked away, avoiding looking at her. He knew he was treading on rocky ground.
"I know it has – but I know he loves you… more than anything."
"I wish I had as much confidence in that as you do." The conversation died off and the two of them sat and looked at each other. "So, if Tigh's ordered everyone not to talk to me – how come you're here?"
"You think I'm going to listen to Tigh? He can go screw himself," she paused, briefly. "Do you want to go and see your dad?"
Kara got up off the cot and held out her hand for him. Lee took it and followed her out of the brig. They walked down the corridors of Galactica, hand in hand. Kara could tell that Lee was nervous about seeing his dad. The closer they got to sickbay, the tighter his grip on her hand became. As they got to the entrance of Sickbay, Lee stopped. Kara turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "It'll be okay, Lee."
"I'm not sure I can do this…"
"He's your father, Lee. What's there to be scared of?"
"Losing him…" He looked down. "I don't think I can lose him… not now."
"You're not going to lose him, Lee. I won't let that happen and nor will anyone else on this ship. He means too much to everyone." A silence built up between them. "You should go in and see him now."
He didn't move any further towards his father. He stood shuffling from one foot to another. "Can you come with me?" He wouldn't look her in the eyes.
Kara could see the emotion in his eyes. "If you want me to be, I'll be there. Always." She turned and started to walk into Sickbay, pausing slightly to wait for him to follow her. They walked towards a bed in a corner of Sickbay. It was curtained off.
Lee took a deep breath before he moved the curtain to one side and walked in. He was taken aback by what he saw in front of him. There was a mass of machines surrounding the bed and all of them seemed to be attached to his father. His father. He was used to seeing his father as someone who was imposing, larger than life and always in control. Looking at him now, he seemed a much smaller man and the sight of him looking so fragile rocked Lee more than anything else.
Kara came up and stood beside him and slipped her hand back in his. She laced her fingers between his and gave a reassuring squeeze. "You should talk to him, Lee." She led him over to a chair beside the bed and pushed him to sit in it. He looked at her uncertainly. "I'm not going anywhere…" She moved her free hand to rest on his shoulder.
Lee spoke to his father for a short time. Not really saying much – just saying anything and hoping that he'd respond somehow. Just letting him know he was there. Unfortunately, he got no response.
"You should get some rest, Captain…" Cottle said as he walked in. "Your father's in a stable condition – he'll still be here when you get back. I'll let you know if his condition changes at all."
"He's right Lee. You can come back later. Let's go…"
"Ok. I'll be back in a few hours." Lee left the room, feeling dejected.
"I should check him over sometime soon as well, Lieutenant… the Colonel wouldn't let me do so earlier…"
"I'll get him to see you next time we're here. I promise." Kara replied. "I'd better go and make sure he is okay. I'll see you later." She walked quickly out of Sickbay and ran to catch Lee up. He appeared to be walking back to the brig. "Where are you going?"
"Back to the brig."
"Colonel Tigh hasn't released me… so I've got to go back there."
"You don't have to go back there, Lee. Come back to the Officer's quarters."
He looked down. "I can't go back there…" He walked away from her, moving quickly down the corridor back to the brig.
"Why not?" She was beginning to get angry with him, but she knew that losing her temper would do more harm than good. She ran to stand in front of him… right in his face, glaring at him.
"I don't want to see them." He stared at her. "What…? None of them came to see me. I'm pissed. I just want to be on my own." With that he stalked off and went back to the brig. Kara stood there watching him leave, her hands on her hips.
A/N: So there you have it. Here's another story on the go. Please review. Updates for the first few chapters of this story will be fairly quick but reviews will probably make them even faster!