WOW guys! It's finally time to end this. We had a good run and I have no regrets. Lets see each other again soon!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
It was a cold funeral; Sakura felt the chill right down to the hollow of her bones. Even surrounded by the warm embrace of her friends and family, Sakura was cold.
Shizune took care of the funeral arrangements. In accordance with Tsunade's will, Shizune was also be in charge of taking care of the old farmhouse and barn until Sakura was of age to inherit the property. Tsunade had left every thing to Sakura, every dime she had was put away in a bank account Sakura could access when she turned eighteen. Sakura figured this was some sort of assurance that Tsunade's money would go directly to her granddaughter and not her daughter.
They delayed the funeral three days so that Mrs. Haruno would make it in time for the burial. Johnny was nowhere to be found. Sakura was furious.
Sakura cried twice while giving her eulogy, but she wasn't embarrassed, Tsunade had been the most important person in her life and Sakura didn't care if the entire world knew how lost and broken she was with out her grandmother.
The entire town was present for the funeral, minus one or two residents.
Gaara Sabaku was one of the missing residents.
Sakura didn't really expect to see him there, but she wanted to. Even if he didn't stand next to her, even if he didn't love her, she would have still liked for him to be in the crowd of people paying their respects to Tsunade. She wanted him to do something to prove that he was human.
None of her friends questioned his absence and his name wasn't even mentioned. Still, Sakura grieved for him too. Surrounded by a sea of black suits, black dresses and darkness, Sakura couldn't help but think of him. Everything reminded her of either her grandmother or Gaara.
She felt like a prisoner.
Sakura wore the black dress her grandmother had bought for her, the same dress she had worn the night Gaara had kissed her on thanksgiving. For once her mother had had the decency to dress conservatively and not flaunt her stripper body. The woman even squeezed out a few genuine tears. It seemed like everyone was crying.
It took Sakura about a week to pack up all of her stuff. She kicked and screamed the entire way but her mother was as stubborn as a mule, especially now that Johnny was gone. Sakura suspected that her mother was terrified at the prospect that she might have to raise a baby by herself. So in the end Sakura knew she would be forced to say good-bye to Konoha and to all of her friends.
Despite her better judgment Sakura went back to the Sabaku house. She thought for sure that she would never want to see Gaara's stupid face again, but after her departure became more and more imminent she realized that even if he hated her, she wanted to say goodbye. A tiny part of her was hopeful that he would have calmed down and have been ready to reconcile. But she knew the odds of that happening were slim to none.
She was shocked when Temari told her that Gaara wasn't living with them anymore. They had sent him away, but not to a sanitarium, no, Mayor Sabaku shipped his son off to military school. Sakura was a day and a half too late to see him off. She had just missed him.
"I'm sorry." Temari had said. No insults, no I told you so's just a simple apology. Once again Sakura was at a loss. Who were the good Sabaku's and who were the bad ones?
Military School. Gaara was four hundred miles away. Gaara left and he never said goodbye. Just when she thought he couldn't hurt her anymore. She should have expected this from him.
It really felt as if some one had ripped her heart straight out of her chest. She couldn't feel anything other than pain.
Sakura missed Tsunade. She missed her more than she thought it was possible to miss anything. It was like waking up and finding your arm or your leg has disappeared. In Sakura's dreams, Tsunade was still alive and in the morning when Sakura woke up, she had to deal with the pain of losing her grandmother all over again.
She had to remind herself that Tsunade would be disappointed in her if she let her grief get the better of her. Sakura had to sit up and be an adult. There was no one left to take care of her now, she had to be independent. Things were going to be tough, she was going to have to become responsible for what was left of her family and any new members that might be joining them in the future.
She was going to fix her own broken heart. Sakura was going to work hard and build a better future for herself. She was going to embrace her new life and find away to make herself happy again. She was going to move on.
Maybe a fresh start was really all she needed.
Right. So that's the end. I hope everyone enjoyed the story. I'm surprised I actually made it to this point. I guess its thanks to all my loyal readers. I'm excited to start the sequel so hopefully the first chapter will be published sometime this month. So be sure to look out for that! THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! You guys are responsible for the updates and I love you dearly.
I feel really bad about leaving the story at such a downer point, so I wrote you all a present.
It's one of Gaara's journal entries that takes place between their trip to the doctors and when Gaara gets beat up by Sasuke. I hope you like it!
January 12, 2009
Sakura Haruno is making me sick.
I don't know how she does it and I don't know why, but she makes me sick.
When I'm with her my chest feels tight and I can't breath. It's painful to watch her laugh and to watch her smile. When we're not together I feel empty, like I'm missing something, like I've forgotten something. When I finally see her face my heart speeds up and I get a rush of adrenaline, it's the same feeling that overtakes me when I'm about to start a fight. It's not completely unpleasant.
I'm afraid of sitting too close to her. There is an unbearable heat that radiates from her skin. I know that if I touch her I'll catch fire.
But I want to touch her. I can sit and think about it for hours. I imagine that she is soft, I rememberthat she is soft. I've felt her skin before; it's the warm satin my fingers itch to touch whenever any piece of pale ivory peeks out from underneath her clothes. I want to touch her with my lips.
I know that if I give into this need then I will only get sicker. Even if my illness doesn't get worse, there is still the frightening possibility that she will leave me.
I do not want this to happen.
The idea that Sakura might suddenly vanish from my life is a nightmare. Even if she makes me sick, when I think that I might not be able to spend time with her I feel like I have swallowed a boulder. If possible, I would like to stay with her forever.
I've started to suspect that my mystery illness is really no illness at all, but I can't think of anything else that would make me this miserable (aside from my family of course).
I suppose I could just ask her about it. Sakura is actually an intelligent girl. Sometimes she acts so ridiculous that I forget how smart she really is. I watch her in science class and in math class. Sakura always knows the answer no matter how difficult the question is. It's a little annoying. I wonder where she fits all that information; she isn't a very big girl.
No, Sakura isn't very big at all. She is the perfect size to walk next to. I like walking next to Sakura. Though sometimes when we're together, I start to lose feeling in my legs. It would be embarrassing if we were someplace walking together and I suddenly fell flat on my face. I think Sakura would also be embarrassed if the guy she were with turned out to be such loser.
I have to wonder why she spends any time with me at all.
Maybe she knows she is making me sick and she is taking some sort of pleasure from it. It wouldn't be the first time someone got a kick out of seeing me suffer, but Sakura isn't that type of girl. She goes out of her way to do nice things for other people. It's kind of amazing. She gave me a MP3 player for Christmas. All I got her was a stupid box of chocolates. If I had known she was going to get me a gift I would have saved up my chocolate shop money and bought her something really nice.
I'm not even sure how to say thank you.
I feel sick just thinking about it.
She just looks at me with these eyes. They're so bright and so green. They remind me of the way the spring grass looks after a heavy rain. Especially when she's angry.
Actually, she always looks really good. Really, really good. It makes me sick to my stomach.
I've got to figure out how she keeps doing that.
I wonder if I make her sick too. Sometimes her cheeks flush a dark shade of pink when she's with me. She doesn't seem to mind too much though. She's got this secret little smile going on. At first I thought that maybe she was laughing at me, but now I think that she might just be happy with me. It's so strange that I have the ability to make her happy. I've never made anyone happy before.
Maybe that's my place in the world, making Sakura happy.
I don't know what I would do if the Mayor found out. My greatest fear is that he will take it out on Sakura. I'll protect her from that no matter what.
I should learn how to talk to her. I've taken cues from TV shows I've seen and book I've read. I try to commit to memory the things that will make her feel good. I think I need to be more physical when we're together. I'm just afraid I'm going to do something wrong or hurt her. My hands are really only good for one thing, and I don't want to fight with Sakura.
I need to find a way to make my feelings go away. I need to either get rid of these feelings or find away to be the man that she really wants.
The reality of the situation is, I don't know what exactly it is that she wants from me. I have no experience in the world of dating and romance. It doesn't come naturally to me. There has to be something I can do to make this easier for us. I worry about this and it makes me feel a whole different kind of sick.
But before I do anything else I need to figure out why my insides feel so strange. I think I'll go to the library after work and try to find the answer in a book. If I can learn what it is that she is doing to me and fix it, I can concentrate on being better for her.
I'm not going to mess this up.
I'm a girl, in case my readers didn't already know that. So writing from the male perspective is difficult for me. Whatever. I just wanted something super gooey sweet to end this story not so gloomily. Leave a parting review perhaps?