Harry Potter, Parselmouth


Harry Potter was a Parselmouth. That meant that he could talk to snakes. He found out he was a Parselmouth when one day, he started hearing a voice nobody else could hear. It turned out to be a basilisk, a huge snake. Parseltongue, as it turned out, was the language of snakes.

So the next year, when Harry Potter heard a voice nobody else could hear, he told his friends right away. He had been hearing the sound of a woman screaming. He was a bit worried that it might be a banshee or something, but when even Hermione couldn't figure it out, he asked Dumbledore.

"Mr. Potter, this is a most interesting turn of events. I must say that I have heard of very few people with this awesome magical gift. You are a Mulierimouth, which means that you speak the rare and valuable language of Mulieritongue."

Harry still didn't understand, and he said as much.

"But Headmaster, I don't understand."

"This, Harry, means that you can understand what women are saying."

"But can't everyone hear women?"

"Ah, yes, but you can hear what they are really saying, what they really mean."

Harry was astounded. He had always thought Ron was a bit dense for not quite getting what Hermione was saying sometimes, but he hadn't thought it was a magical gift.

The discovery changed Harry's life.

When the press got wind of it, Harry got so many letters from wishful witches that he had to get Neville to help him answer it all. Ron was still smarting over the discovery.

When Harry graduated, he became a much-sought out marriage counselor as well as a sounding board for men who weren't quite sure what the women in their lives were saying.

Harry died rich and famous.