Once again, I am posting a Gintama drabble instead of finishing my Fruits Basket story. WHY? I don't understand, but Yamazaki has me whipped. LOL
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama! Why must I repeat this?
Drabble #7- Hard Place…Meet Rock
As a spy, I have been in many bad situations, but this one takes the cake. I am caught between my duty as a member of the Shinsengumi and the strong feelings I have developed for the enemy. Bansai is a member of the terrorist group, the Kiheitai. He has helped his psychotic leader Takasugi do many terrible things (including orchestrating the near-downfall of the Shinsengumi) and hurt many people.
I should hate him. But I don't. I can't. Believe me, I've tried. He spared my life and listened to my song…and in the process he awakened this new passionate side of me. Now, he has let me see the real him. He took off those glasses and sent my heart aflutter. Despite everything wrong with this picture…I have fallen in love with him. If only he wasn't a wanted criminal…
To be honest, it isn't really the Shinsengumi I worry about betraying. As much as I am loyal to them, I am more willing to follow my heart. On that note…I know that I am attracted to Bansai, but I know that my heart still yearns for my Fukuchou. I have been his whipping boy…his lapdog for many years and although the abuse cuts to my core…I can't stop loving him.
My Fukuchou reminds me of a grumpy bear…with a deadly katana and cigarette in his mouth. He is easily provoked and can be quite frightening (which is why he got nicknamed the Demon Vice Commander). But I know he truly cares for others. He is our leader and he carries so much responsibility…without being asked to. He is extremely stubborn but is brave and loyal to a fault. How can someone so passionate and fiery when it comes to his job act so cold towards the people who care for him?
Bansai…would he be willing to change for me? Would he turn himself in and help us take down Takasugi and the Kiheitai? Would he hold me in his arms and listen to my song forever? Fukuchou…would he ever open up to me (or anyone)? Would he ever smile or laugh…because he is truly happy? Would he look me in the eyes and say my name without anger or annoyance in his voice? Could either of them really love me?
All I know right now is that I am torn. I love them both and I can't choose without knowing the answers to those questions. But why would anyone want the Jimi? What right do I have to even think either of those two strong and handsome men would ever want me? Why did I end up gay? Ok…so maybe that was obviously bound to happen, but that still doesn't seem fair to me.
Man, I really wish I could have stayed with Katsura's Joi faction…they actually treated me with respect and they weren't totally evil. But I have to beat my curse of bad luck. As my favorite saying goes…Mada mada dane. I have to keep my head high and do my best. I will get out of this mess somehow.
Hold on…did Fukuchou just attack Bansai? And now are they fighting? The Shinsengumi have noticed and are surrounding them? OH…NO! This is bad. No, I take back what I said about me being torn between them as the worst situation I have ever faced…this vicious show-down is on a whole new level. Imagine the deepest darkest deadliest put of hell…and times that by three…and that would equal this battle between the demonic Fukuchou and the musical deviant terrorist.