Warning: This is not an actual fic, this is a ficlet. It's like a fic, except with half the calories.

Disclaimer: I own the rights to no anime series and only one porno. Which is a shame cause 'Nabiki does Dallas' would make a mint!

AN: This is listed under Parody for a reason. If some of the characters are acting OOC I apologize. I was trying for all.

Wild Stallion!

Three sisters sat quietly in the Tendo dining room, as the sounds of cats being skinned emanated from the guest room upstairs.

As a particularly teeth watering… noise broke out, Nabiki winced. "Happosai's gone too far this time. Locking Ranma in his cursed form would have been kinder than this."

Akane moved as if to stand up, but settled back down as Nabiki laid a hand on her arm. "Are you sure it's permanent?" Her face betrayed her anxiety.

"I've called Cologne. If anyone knows about the Gemini water he used on Ranma and if it's reversible, she'll know." Sipping her tea calmly Nabiki was the picture of control, as long as you ignored the way the veins in her temple throbbed or the white knuckled grip she had on her teacup.

Kasumi looked like a pale version of herself, as she rocked back and forth, clutching a chocolate bar like it was gold and muttering something about losing her favorite 'itch scratcher'.

Nabiki and Akane had already blocked the various possibilities of what Kasumi had meant from their minds with the ease of long practice.

A knock on the door failed to rouse Kasumi, so Nabiki answered the door, letting in the three Chinese Amazons.

Cologne winced as the caterwauling upstairs started once again, a jumble of screeches and wails that would make the dead turn over in their graves.

The Amazon elder paled and placed a hand on her granddaughter's shoulder. "You wait here. I'll let you know if there is anything you can do once I have examined the problem."

Shampoo and a strangely subdues Mousse joined the Tendos at the table and quietly sipped the tea they were given, while Cologne pogoed up the stairs to check on Ranma.

"Is he going to be alright?" Mousse asked, uncharacteristically concerned for his rival for Shampoo's hand.

"I don't know, that's why I called Cologne. Happosai got his hands on something called Gemini water and splashed Ranma with it, but this… effect isn't what any of us expected," Nabiki explained.

"Is suppose to separate person into two selves…" Shampoo started to explain, only to trail off as three voices started talking upstairs in English.

Nabiki nodded. "That's what Happosai said just before he fled in tears at there being no Ranma-Chan anymore."

Cologne came back downstairs and downed a cup of tea with a shaky hand. "There is no cure and no longer any reason for us to stay in Japan. I'm sorry, but what has been done can not be undone."

Shampoo stood as if to go upstairs, but Cologne waved her off. "No child, it's best to remember him as he was."

Shampoo sniffed and broke into tears as Mousse tried to comfort her and lead her out the door.

After the amazons had left the two sides of Ranma came downstairs, wondering what all the fuss was about and why everyone looked so depressed.

"Ted, this is a most strange situation we find ourselves in," the shorthaired blonde gaijin said in English.

"I must agree with you, Bill. This does not look anything like our home. I think we're in Asia," the boy with the long black hair answered in the same language.

"Think we should introduce ourselves again?"

"It's worth a shot."

Bill held his left hand up and stated calmly, "I am, Bill S. Preston, esquire."

Ted mirrored his pose on Bill's right side. "And I am, Ted 'Theodore' Logan."

They both continued in unison, "And together we are… Wild Stallion!"

Jumping up and down they began moving their hands like they were playing musical instruments causing strange screechings to fill the air.

The three sisters Tendo broke down in tears.

AN: Sorry, just had to inflict this on everyone to get it out of my skull!