I shouldn't Love You

Chapter One: The new Invaderess

(Beginning of Gir's POV)

Doo doo doo doo… I like waffles.

Hiya, I'm GIR, SIR unit from the planet IRK. I serve an alien master. His name is Zim. He has green skin and pink eyes. He also has a pink outfit with a little backpack that turns into spider legs!

We have a mission that we're supposeta do, but I DON'T WANNA! Except for the pizza and taquitos…

Taquitos are good. I remember when I was a taquito… Taquitos are crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside. Sometimes they have cheese and artichokeys in them!

MOOSEY! Hehehehehe… -squeak squeak-

(end of Gir's POV)

"GIR!" Zim yelled at the top of his lungs, "Get over here!"

Gir was too busy playing with mini-moose. "Pssshhh..peeww!" The little SIR unit shouted, clearly imitating an explosion.

"Gir, I said 'Get over here'."

Suddenly, Gir's eyes flashed red. He jumped into the air with a serious expression on his face, jumping out of his doggie suit.

"Yes, sir!" Gir shouted, giving the military salute. "Gir," Zim said, "I need you to fill out these job applications for McMeatie's." He handed Gir the papers while turning on the communication to the Tallest.

"Okey-dokey." Gir said, but then went back to playing with Mini Moose. "My Tallest," Zim said in his most official way, "I've come to hear of this news you speak of."

"He wants to know about The News." The purple Tallest whispered. "Well," The pink tallest began, "You see, Zim, there's a new invader on your turf. Her name is Zita. And surprisingly, she looks like she could be your twin sister." "Let me see this…Zita." Zim drawled. He leaned forward on his hands, the way he always did when he was really interested in something.

A picture pulled up on the screen, and it looked like a girl version of Zim. "AAAH!" Zim screamed, his pink eyes bulging, "THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" "And that's not even the worst part of it, Zim." Said the purple Tallest, "The worst part is..well, she's a lot farther ahead than you in the mission, WITH A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SIR UNIT." Video footage of Zita, and her SIR unit, Dir, pulled up on the screen. They were making the entire preschool population of the area worship them as gods.

Zita was a full-on tyrant. The small children had such…fear in their eyes. If only Zim could instill that in the puny worm-babies…

"You there, you there, and you over there!" Zita shouted to the children, "get me a soda. And make it peach Faygo!" The little children scrambled to get the invaderess exactly what she wanted.

"That… THIEF!" Zim screamed, "I shall find this...urgh…Zita, and make sure she knows the wrath of Almighty Zim!"

Chapter Two: Morning MADNESS!

(Beginning of Zim's POV)

I wake the next morning with a throbbing headache. Gir had not filled out my McMeatie's papers, damn him! Oh, well. I never expect him to do anything constructive, anyway. He's always playing with that HORRIBLE "Mini-Moose". But the Tallest say he's advanced, and you never question the Tallest.

I went through my shower of cleansing chalk, and injected myself with Irken fodder when that annoying little android burst into my fortress of solace.

(end of Zim's POV)

"MASTAH!" Gir screamed, "Look what I got!" Gir was holding a plateful of various breakfast foods. Scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, you name it. And of course…waffles.

"GIR!" Zim screamed with a towel around his waist, "What are you DOING?!?" "I made you breakfast, my lord." Gir said, bowing and spilling the orange juice all over Zim.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Zim screamed, "It BURNS!" "Hehehehehe." Gir said, and squeaked his moose.

(Beginning of Gir's POV)

I don't know why my master didn't like the waffles. I even put cheese and pasketties in 'em!

I like master. I like him good. I especially liked him in just a towel…

WAIT! What am I saying? Zim is my master, and he's a BOY! But the tallest and all the other Irken invaders always said there was something wrong with me…

My eyes have a little bit of wet in them. –sniffle sniffle- Why, oh why, can't master love me?

(end of Gir's POV)

Zim hopped aboard the bus and frantically filled out his McMeatie's job applications.

"Oh, the stink of this bus!" Zim screamed as he looked at (and smelled) all of the passengers. They were the same passengers from the time he and Gir got lost in the city.

Zim couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Gir. No, he was not a fully functional SIR unit, but Lord, did he try. After all, he'd gone to all the trouble to make Zim's breakfast this morning.

But he'd forgotten that crucial detail, that Zim didn't like Earth food. Just the thought of it made his Squeedlyspooch turn in disgust.

Zim was also very mentally sensitive to car and bus rides. Every time there was a stop, he feared he would get caught by the Earth government, even though he had his disguise on.

Yes, Zim had very human senses, but there was on emotion he could not understand…love.. What was this "love", anyway? Some humans didn't even know.

Did Zim have "love" for anyone? NO! As Zim said himself, invaders need no one.

Chapter Three: Get off me, Gir!

(Beginning of Gir's POV)

I miss Master. I miss him so much!!! URRGGHH! Why can't he get me any Taquitos??? Master is so great. I wish I was the head of the Mission…

I wonder what Master's doing at McMeatie's. Probably making food. I like food. Did I mention the taquitos yet???

WAAH! I miss my rubber piggy. But master needs them for science. SCIENCE! I love my master…

(End of Gir's POV)

Zim was at McMeatie's at promptly 8 A.M. He just wished he could go back to sleep. But wait, Zim thought, invaders don't need sleep. Invaders need NOTHING!

"You'll start with the fries." Zim's supervisor told him. The supervisor was a tall, gangly teen with almost infinite pimples. "And once I have mastered the fries," Zim began, "How many promotions until I am made ruler of the planet?" "About 4." The supervisor said, and went back to frying the burgers.

Zim took his job of "mastering" the fries a little too seriously. He made a big point to all the customers about how he prepared the fries with his "iron fist".

"YOU!" he shouted at an unsuspecting old man, "OBEY THE FIST!" and shook his fist in the old man's face.

Suddenly, Zim's job took a change of pace. Since he did so well on the fries, he was put in charge of the children in the play area.

It was hell for Zim, although he still had the impression that he ruled the children with his iron fist.

"OBEY THE FIST OF ZIM!" Zim shouted at the children, while they continued to play and wander around aimlessly.

(Beginning of Zim's POV)

Those…STINKY EARTH CHILDREN! Oh my Irk, they were horrible!

I walked in the door, finally admitting to myself that I needed some sleep.

Gir was sitting in the living room, watching the "Scary Monkey Show." How that show interested him was a mystery to me. He had no… mind of any sort, so how could he receive any form of entertainment?

Oh, no. He was coming over here. No, Gir, don't…

(end of Zim's POV)

"I'm gonna hug you…" Gir said menacingly, and tackled his Master.

"Get off me! Get off me, Gir!" Zim screamed in horror.

Chapter Four: Foot Rubs

Zim was checking the latest reports on Zita when Dib burst through the door. "So, Zim," Dib said, "I see another Invaderess has invaded Earth." "Shut your noise tube, Dib-human!" "Say what you, want, Zim, but the truth is, your already dwindling popularity is going downhill fast."

Zim lunged at Dib. Normally he and Dib's arguments were just little animosities, but this time was for real.

"Never…say…that…again." Zim snarled in Dib's face, and shoved him to the ground.

"Whatever, Zim. But the fact still remains, you will never be a true invader."

And then he left.

"Gir!" Zim yelled, "I need help! Get over here!"

Gir was busy making a valentine card for Zim. Valentine's day was tomorrow, after all, and Gir wanted the perfect gift for his master.

"Yes, my lord!" Gir said, bowing at Zim's feet.

"Gir," Zim drawled, "I need you to massage my feet."

Gir blushed at this. Well, if robots could blush, that is. He didn't know what to do for a second. Zim looked so perfect to Gir, just sitting in that chair like that. Gir took his little android hands and wrapped them around Zim's aching green foot. He started rubbing first in tiny circles, then eventually harder, tracing little hearts with his "thumbs".

"Ahh, Gir, that was splendid." Now come help me with the computer. "Okey-dokey!" Gir said, happy as could be.

A/N: Yeah, I know this chapter was short, but eh. I'm lazy, and this is pretty much what came out of my brain.

Chapter Five: The big day

Gir awoke the next morning with a smile on his little metal face. He'd saved the valentine from yesterday under his pillow.

(Beginning of Gir's POV)

I'm so nervous. What if Master doesn't like the present? I made it pretty, with plenty of tuna waffles! I put glittery thingies all over it…

(End of Gir's POV)

(Beginning of Zim's POV)

Today is supposed to be some HORRIBLE Earth holiday, "Valentine's Day". What the hell??

(End of Zim's POV)

Gir burst into Zim's room with the present.

"Here ya go, mastah!" Gir said, and bowed before Zim, as always.

"Gir, what the…."

All over the present were little pictures of Gir and Zim together, along with a little note.

I love you. And waffles.


"Aw, Gir." Zim said, and kissed the android's metal lips.


A/N: Yeah, I know, kinda rushed, but I can't do long stories.