Disclaimer: me - Stephanie Meyer does not own twilight.
Edward - Jane ...
me - She doesn't!
Edward - Jane she does.
me - Fine! but she doesn't own us.
Edward - Good girl.
me - Shut up.
I walked into my house with Edward. I needed to tell him goodbye. I hate this! I don't want to leave my love. I drew a deep breath and he turned to me curious. The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them,
"Let's go for a walk" He nodded slowly, as if he was just going to suggest that. It hadn't really surprised me that he was distancing himself after what had happened on my birthday. Of coarse, I'm still seventeen and always will be. It sucks being dead. I knew what Edward would do just a few days from now, maybe he'd even planned to do it today. But he wouldn't get to. I had to tell him that I was leaving first.
I stopped a little into the woods. He seemed slightly perplexed now. He raised one of his perfect eyebrows.
"We need to talk" I stated clearly. He nodded,
"We do. What do you want to say?" I drew breath, my face was already impassive; he wouldn't be able to tell that I was lying.
"Charlie's been offered a job. We're leaving." He stiffened, shocked. Then he smiled.
"Where has he been offer this job?"
"California, LA" His smile dropped. He took a step forward and placed his cool hands on my forearms.
"Bella, Los Angeles is sunny. I can't go there." I nodded slowly,
"That brings me to what I wanted to say. What I had for you was just a crush. You were right," I shrugged, loathing myself for what was coming from my mouth. My face still showed none of my self-loathing. "I got over it." His face was devastating. He looked as if I'd just pulled out his heart. I guess I had just ripped it from his chest in a sense, since I knew that he loved me, and that I held his heart. To leave meant I was pulling everything he had away from him. But I couldn't stay, it was getting too dangerous for me.
"Bella," he whispered. I shook my head.
"We're leaving tomorrow. Goodbye, Edward" I allowed myself one small comfort and rested my had against his cheek for a small moment before turning and heading back up to my Guardian's house. I'd lied back there. We weren't leaving tomorrow and we weren't going to LA. We were leaving as soon as I'd told him. I got in and Charlie was already waiting for me.
"I hear him. He's sobbing. Can you really do this? What if they find us?" My heart broke at the words he spoke. I knew I couldn't seal away my heart and neither could Edward. The only comfort was that in 18 years I'd no longer be on this earth. I could ask Death to make me forget him. But I knew that, for him, there would be no rest from the agony that would plague him. The agony came from the thought that I didn't love him. And that was the agony that would haunt me, and never allow me peaceful rest.
I had to do this. I had to leave for her own safety. As I was about to ask her if she would like to go for a walk (always a gentleman), she interrupted me asking, no, telling, me to go for a walk with her. I nodded, I'd leave then. But a had I feeling that there was something bad she needed to tell me. And that I'd be the one who ended up with their heart broken into tiny pieces.
I heard her stop when we'd just entered the forest. We could still see the house. Some walk, but I guess I wouldn't have gone much further considering what I had to do if I wanted her to live. (A/N: Ironic, no?) I raised an eyebrow questioningly. No, don't get closer to her now. Not when you've spent a week distancing yourself. But now that I'd thought of it, Bella had been distant for weeks now and that hadn't changed. I thought had just been about her birthday.
"We need to talk" the way she said it gave my hair stand on end. Her face was impassive, not even her eyes showed any emotion. At the moment, they were depthless, I couldn't read them. I nodded,
"We do" I agreed, "What do you want to say?" I asked. She drew a deep breath as if she was scared of saying what she had to.
"Charlie's been offered a job. We're leaving" What! She's leaving me! How can she! I love her! My heart was screaming these thoughts at me but I focused on pushing them back, allowing my former determination to shine a light on my thoughts. Well, at least this makes it easier for me. But I need to know where she is, so that I know she's safe. I smiled, at the thought that I'd still know where to find her if someone threatened her.
"Where has he been offered this job?"
"California, LA" Once again I was split in half. My heart was screaming that I wouldn't be able to follow her, watch her, kiss her. Or even be anywhere near her. I t was like she knew exactly how to change my mind. These fears were greater than the common sense that tried to make itself heard. That this was better because it would be harder for vampires to get to her with so much sun. But I was a vampire. I wouldn't be able to get to her. My smiled dropped as did my determination and I let my love overwhelm myself again. Letting it show through my eyes and through my actions as I gently grabbed her forearms. I still couldn't read her! Her face was still impassive and her eyes still depthless and unreadable! Why?
"Bella, Los Angeles is sunny. I can't go there." My voice thick with desperation, almost begging her to think a way around it. But right now it seemed like she didn't love me. But I knew that couldn't be true. No, it couldn't be. She nodded. She knew that and she was still going. She dropped her head and I struggled against the urge to lift it back up again. She did it for me though. She drew another deep breath and looked me straight in the eye.
"That brings me to what I wanted to say." There was more? How could there be more? Unless… No. "What I had for you was just a crush. You were right." I was right how? I almost screamed at her as she shrugged her shoulders. "I got over it." And that was when she ripped my long dead heart out. Ripped it out of my chest, leaving a gaping hole in its place. She didn't love me? How could she not? No, this couldn't happen. I hated myself for thinking about leaving her earlier. The pain was like a wave sweeping me up and depositing me into the fiery pits of my very own personal hell. Where all the fire was concentrated on me. This was so much more worse than even my transformation. Fire, but not swift and overwhelming but so slow and burning that could still keep my head above water with the knowledge that I was drowning.
"Bella" I whispered. She shook her head.
"We're leaving tomorrow. Goodbye Edward" Then almost as if to torture me some more, she let her warm hand rest upon my cheek for a moment before walking off down the path. I was in pieces. She didn't love me, she'd never even fully loved me the way she'd promised. I dropped to the ground and started to sob tearlessly. I could barely even do that. I was empty with out her.
My ears registered the sound of a car pull out of Bella's driveway. Something smoother than the police cruiser and quieter than Bella's truck. It drove up the street and followed it to the highway that ran through Forks. After a couple of miles I couldn't hear it anymore. Hours later I stopped crying, it hurt to much to even sob anymore. Carlisle and Alice came to find me. I couldn't even respond. I read that Alice had already told the entire family. Jasper had been shocked. Apparently, he'd felt pure love radiating off Bella when he was near us. Her love that came from a simple human crush. In the end Carlisle had to pick me up and carry me to our new home. He put me on a couch that was almost identical to the one in Forks. The slow burning pain was still there, as it would be for all of eternity. Or for all of Bella's life, I should say. I would always be here if she ever decided she wanted me again. I would always be here to love her. Till the day she died.
A/N: I know that I suck at Bella's point of view but our entire family doesn't understand her or what's going through her mind so how should I? I'm so much better at my brother's, because, well, duh, he's my twin. We understand each other better than Alice and Jasper understand the other. I know goes through his head because it's basically the same as me. Just, I'm a bit more competitive and in-your-face; also less self-conflict and we're-all-damned-because-we-are-vampires. I know you all think that is shit, right? Well, I agree. Only, I believe that James, Sweet old Vicky and Laurent, Jane (not me, Volturi), Alec, Demetri, Felix, Caius and Marcus deserve eternal hell. The rest don't know any better or stuff like that. Am I forgetting someone? Yes, let's all hail king ARO as he goes to hell! (Try let's not hail him. King?Give me a break!) Oh, and ya, most of this story will be in either Eward's pov or mine. Depending if I decide to put myself in the story. I know! I'll do a poll. Everybody go to my poll or I won't be able to continue this story!!