Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
A/N: Based on actual events. Oh, and it's AU.
Seventeen-year-old Kairi bounded across the living room and darted down the hall at an inhuman speed, following the fresh trail of screaming ten-year-olds. A bedroom door slammed; Kairi approached the "Keep Out: Got it Memorized?" makeshift poster and delicately placed her ear against the door, straining her ears.
"Roxas, you distract her. Reno, pretend you have the socks. Axel, you take one and I'll take one. Hide it in your shirt – that's good. Go hide it in the kitchen. Okay, now you climb out the window—"
"—what if I don't wanna climb out the window?"
"Axel, just climb out the window and come in through the back door – she'll never expect it."
Kairi smirked and ducked in an empty room as the door fell open seemingly by itself – they were testing the waters, but it was all a show. The real thief was scurrying along the back porch.
A little blond boy – Roxas – peered down the hallway. The redhead behind him – Reno – hurried him along, but Roxas told him to shut up. Reno threatened to tell on him. Kairi rolled her eyes and seized her chance – she jumped out into the hall and growled menacingly. Reno and Roxas fled towards her, screaming and flailing as they headed for the stairs. That only confirmed it. They were definitely distractions.
Instead of following the ten-year-olds down the staircase, Kairi crept silently towards Axel's bedroom. She peeked around the corner…
…but no one was there. The silver-haired eleven-year-old Riku was nowhere to be seen. Kairi went for the closet and threw it open; there was Riku, but he was smirking. Before Kairi could determine what that evil look could possibly mean, she had a giggling Reno on her back and a yelling Roxas latched onto her leg. She pointed at Riku accusingly.
"You tricked me!" she shouted incredulously. Riku emerged from the darkness of the closet, smug as he held up Kairi's lime green sock.
"It's not my fault you're stupid," he taunted. Kairi struggled against her captors.
"Then where is the other sock?" she asked. Riku shook his head.
"I'm not telling you."
"Hey Riku, I hid the sock where you told me to," announced the newly-arrived Axel. Riku glared at him while Kairi cheered internally. Her happiness was short-lived.
"Go get it, quick!" Riku ordered. Kairi, using all of her strength, threw herself at Axel. Axel ran, but Kairi caught his ankle. Kairi had made one fatal mistake, however; she left herself vulnerable. In a way that only a ten-year-old can get away with, Roxas climbed onto the girl's back and grabbed fistfuls of her hair as he laughed maniacally. Reno held her legs together and Riku went for her arms, trying to pry her hands off Axel's ankle. Kairi held on as long as she could, but it was inevitable that she should fail. Riku had despicably resorted to tickling, therefore releasing the crazed Axel to fly down the stairs.
"Give up, Kairi!" spat Riku.
"Never!" cried Kairi.
And then something happened that no one expected; a tall, thin brunette armed with a super-huge-mega squirt gun burst into the room, shouting out random sounds that might have been a war-call. The boys instantly scattered, limbs flailing and voices mingling laughter and screaming. Riku fled to the window and managed to escape; Roxas and Reno weren't so lucky. The brunette had cornered them.
Kairi got to her feet. "Hey, Yuffie." She smiled.
Yuffie grinned triumphantly back, holding up her gun. "Hey, Kairi. Having problems?"
"They've run off with my socks," Kairi admitted sheepishly.
"And you'll never get them back!" shouted Riku, who had appeared in the doorway sometime during their short conversation. "Bwahahahaha!" He ran back down the hall, screaming regardless of the fact that he wasn't being chased. Yuffie regarded Kairi seriously.
"This is war. Kairi, you guard the hostages. I'll go after the freaks." In a very business-like manner, she tossed the gun at Kairi (who barely caught it) and flew down the hall.
Kairi smirked at Reno and Roxas, who were still cowering – although giggling – in the corner. She paced the space in front of the door, watching them closely as she did so. They exchanged glances and laughed. Kairi suddenly had a bad feeling and whirled around – which was her demise. Axel was there, grinning hugely, and before Kairi knew what was happening, he had swiped the squirt gun.
She ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. It wasn't enough. She felt ice-cold water slam into her back and almost tumbled forward at the force of it. When she dove down the stairs, Axel shot at her from above.
As she headed for the kitchen, Kairi was suddenly yanked into a dark room – which, she soon discovered, was actually a closet. She felt a hand cover her mouth and heard Yuffie's voice in her ear.
"Quiet. Riku's coming this way," she whispered.
Sure enough, the silver-haired boy came tiptoeing out of the kitchen, clutching Kairi's sock in his hand. He jumped at every slight sound; it made Kairi realize how eerily silent the house had fallen. Something was wrong.
She tried to stop Yuffie, but the older girl wouldn't listen. Yuffie came crashing out of the hall closet and tackled the Riku, who squealed. She tumbled around the floor for awhile but soon held up a bright green sock triumphantly.
"WOO! Point one for team Yuffie!" she hollered.
She was promptly soaked by a water gun.
Kairi forgot where she was – nothing less than a battlefield – and watched the grinning Yuffie wrestle four little boys all on her own. Impressed that Yuffie managed to keep an iron grip on the sock no matter what form of torture was used on her, Kairi clapped. Yuffie's eyes instantly met her own, and there was a misplaced moment of serenity where Kairi felt captivated by that playful laugh.
This moment was destroyed by none other than Axel, who decided that he wouldn't have Kairi just sitting there. He ran at the redhead with his water gun, sticking out his tongue as Kairi screamed.
Kairi used one of their tactics against him; she launched an assault of relentless tickling on his abdomen. He screamed and flailed wildly and Kairi stole back the gun. It was his turn to scream and her turn to drench the room in water.
The boys scattered again and Kairi helped Yuffie to her feet. Yuffie was still grinning.
"Look, we won," she said. In her hands were two lime green socks. Kairi embraced her tightly and rushed to place her socks in their rightful area: her feet.
Riku huffed, but shook Yuffie's hand.
"It was a good battle," he said. Yuffie leaned down.
"You know, you can always steal Axel's socks," she whispered. The most evil smirk of all Riku-smirks played across his face, and soon the house had returned to rampaging ten-year-olds and screaming. Kairi and Yuffie ducked out for this battle, however, and found lounging on the front porch to be very serene.
"Aren't I just the greatest Ninja ever?" asked Yuffie, smiling up at the darkened sky. Kairi glanced down at her socks fondly.
"Of course." She and Yuffie locked eyes. "My sweet prince."
Yuffie shrugged. "Well somebody had to save Princess Kairi."
It was indeed a good battle.
"You know what?"
Kairi glanced at her questioningly. Yuffie grinned and soon Kairi found her feet sock-less once again. Yuffie broke into a run.
"I don't think you can catch me!" she called behind her.
Kairi sat there for a few slow moments, attempting to register what had just happened. She scrambled to her feet.