Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart

By wotchertonks7

Pairing: Severus/ Lily

Rating: K+

Summary: Severus and Lily meet and fall in love for the first time. Then why do they feel like this has all happened before?

Author's Note: Based on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Lily and Severus keep meeting at different points in their lives. There is no Dark Lord, no wizarding war although inter-house tension and prejudices between magic ranks still exists. Severus and Lily keep meeting at different points in their lives only to be torn apart by jealous James Potter and the Marauders. However, they all discover that you just can't fight fate.

The title is a song by the Finnish rock band HIM.


Chapter 1

February, 1982

A dark, grimly dressed young man Apparated onto the little path just beyond the playground. He glanced around for any sign of muggles but found none. The day was unseasonable warm, yet the park seemed deserted.

It all looked much smaller than he recalled. He wasn't even sure why he had felt the need to return to this spot, or why on this particular day either. He had been on break at the hospital when he suddenly felt the urge to get away. It was just the muggle playground he used to visit as a child, long before he had managed to crawl out of that hole called Spinner's End. He ran a hand along the chain of one of the swings, hoping it would jar his memory.

What was he doing there? he thought to himself. Was he going mad? Had he been Confunded by one of those idiots at the hospital? He felt as if he had had a meeting of some sort, but for Merlin's sake he couldn't recall why or with whom. He sat down on the swing to gather his bearings.

There was a crunching sound on the frost-covered gravel and someone clearing her throat abruptly pulled him from his thoughts. His head shot up. It was a young woman in her early twenties with a baby stroller at her side. She raised an eyebrow at him.

He turned bright red and stumbled to his feet. "Sorry! Sorry, did you want…. I'll just—" He stepped out of the way and quickly headed down the path. He glanced back over his shoulder. The woman was still watching him. Her eyes were green and kind. He thought he had seen eyes like that somewhere but could not be sure where. The man lingered a moment to watch as she set her small son on the kiddie swing. Before long he departed, feeling far too intrusive on the cheerful scene.

He removed himself to a small teashop. Full of muggles, of course, but that was to be expected. Although he never wore the more garish clothes that were the fashion of wizards, some still looked twice at his black traveling cloak. He scowled at the waitress, ordered his favorite tea and proceeded to read his book.

Why had he left work early to come here? He wondered again. He was needed at the hospital, spell damage and curses he had to cure. At his rate he'd be a full Mediwizard in another year. Men like him had little need for distractions.

"Pardon me?"

He dropped the book under his table and looked at the intruder. It was the same woman from the park. She stood by his table, her child fussing in her arms.

"You're not a child molester, are you?" she said.

"I… what?" he answered, stunned by the question.

"I mean, a grown man hanging alone in a children's playground without a child of his own. Kind of dodgy, wouldn't you say?"

"No. No, I am not."

She pursed her lips. "Would you tell me the truth if you were one?"

"Probably not. You'll have to take my word for it, I suppose."

"That's exactly something a child molester would say to avoid suspicion. Mind if we join you?" She sat down and pulled her son onto her lap.

"I… what?"

"I always take Harry here for a snack before going to visit my parents. He likes the chips. Have you taken tea yet? Blackberry, right?"

"You are taking tea with someone you just accused of being a child molester?"

"Well, that shouldn't bother you, unless you really are one. Are you?"

He shook his head. "This is the oddest conversation I've ever had. Are you always this forward?"

"Most of the time. Annoys the fudge out of my husband." She smiled and removed her hood. Her hair was long and dark red and she was very pretty. "So, what were you doing on a swing set in the middle of winter anyway?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure," he said. "I feel as if I've missed a step today. Like I've been sleepwalking. Does that make any sense to you?"

The woman stared at him. Her small rosy mouth opened to say something but no words came out.

"Forgive me," he said. "You must think I am a nutter, again. I should go."

Her eyes went even wider. "What? Oh no. No, please stay. It was just… never mind. It's just I'm not used to seeing a wizard in Lanarkshire."

He blinked. "I'm not… I mean. I don't know what you're… wizards don't…."

"Not many muggle libraries supply the latest edition of Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions."

"You are a witch?" His voice dropped on the last word. He paused as the waitress set down two cups and a platter of greasy chips. "I would not have guessed. You're attire is so… so…."

"So toned down?" Her smile brightened as she gestured to her simple blue dress. "I never did get on with the wizard color palettes. Too clashy for my taste. The first time I ever went to Diagon Alley I thought that being magical meant that you would eventually go color blind."

He nearly laughed. "You are from this town? So, you are muggle born."

She nodded. "I grew up a few blocks away from the park. And you? Only locals know about that place." He muttered something. "Sorry? Didn't catch that."

"Spinner's End," he said into his black scarf so she wouldn't see his blush. "I'm from Spinner's End, alright?" It was a shabby part of town decent folk tended to avoid. He had escaped from there and he never looked back.

"So, we probably played together as children," she answered, unphased by his meager background. "Did you go to Hogwarts? What year?"

"Ah, I started in 1971."

"We went at the same time?" She shifted her young boy onto her other knee so she could move closer to the man. "I thought you seemed familiar. It was just a feeling I had since I saw you on that swing and I had to follow you to make sure. Sorry about my behavior earlier. New mother, after all. Can't be too careful."


"I'm Lily, by the way." She offered her hand. "Lily Potter.

"Severus Snape. Pleasure." Her hand felt warm and sent sparks through his body. He gasped a bit and let go.

She blushed and stared at him. "Are you sure we never met? I can't shake the feeling that I know you."

"I would recall if you were in Slytherin."

"No. I was in Gryffindor. Go red and gold!" She mock waved her fist.

Again he had the oddest feeling that something was missing. "Mrs. Potter. You would not be married to James Potter by any chance?"

"Guilty as charged."

"You are a brave woman. He was not my favorite person in school."

"Now I remember!" she exclaimed. "You were that quiet boy James and Sirius were always picking on."

He colored and sipped on his lukewarm tea. "That would be me."

"I am so sorry about that. I always hated the way they treated you."

"That was school. He is different now, I trust."

"He is. No more Big Head Potter, or not so much, at least." He did laugh this time and she frowned. "I am very sorry for what they did to you. James is, well, he's complicated. You have to get to know him. He's different around those he likes. Only half as arrogant."

Severus found the woman pleasant. They sat and talked for most of the afternoon. Harry eventually crawled into Severus' lap and toyed with the man's long hair.

"Oh, he likes you," Lily beamed.

Severus was uncomfortable around young children but did his best not to offend his companion. Lily grinned at the sight of them and he felt a shiver travel up his spine.

What was wrong with him? This was a married woman, he reminded himself. Plus, women did not flirt with him in general. He was acting crazy.

"Is that the time?" He pointed to the clock on the wall. "I should really be getting back to St. Mungo's. I am a resident there."

"Oh, of course." She took Harry back. "I did not mean to keep you here with my boring stories."

"Not at all. I had an enjoyable luncheon with you."

"Really? Then maybe you'd like to meet again next week?"

"Yes." He started at his boldness. "I, that is… what I mean to say… I would enjoy…." He wondered if he could Apparate without notice.

"Great. I'll fire call you."

He helped her carry the stroller to the front entrance.

"Happy Valentine's Day to the both of you." The waitress waved after them.

They turned to look at one another.

"I forgot that it was—" he began.

"So did I."

Lily looked sad for some reason. He had the urge to reach out and stroke her cheek. "Well," he said quickly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Lily."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Severus."


"Lily, at last," Rose Evans said as she opened the door. "I was beginning to think something had happened to the baby."

"Not at all mum," Lily answered and gave her mother a peck on the cheek. Harry was already kicking and wailing to get out of his seat.

"Little tyke," Rose said fondly. "So, what kept you? James surprise you with something romantic?"

"Not exactly." Lily set her coat aside and sat down. "Actually I just had a lovely lunch with a man. An old Hogwarts mate," she corrected.

"Really? One of those silly boys who had a crush on you?"

"No, mother." Her mum had never forgiven Lily for being so popular in her school days. "He was a boy I knew but I think we were just friends. At least I feel as if we were."

It was strange. From the moment Lily had seen that man on the swing she felt she had known him. Something about seeing him there, and then when he had looked up at her with those dark, soulful eyes…. She had seen eyes like that before. But where? She could not quite remember speaking to him at school. And yet she must have. How else had she known that Severus had preferred blackberry tea?

"How nice, dear. A friend of James?"

"No. Not a friend at all. In truth, James was horrid to him, though I can't remember why. Mum, did I ever have an injury at school that slipped my mind? Did I fall off my broom or something?"

"Gracious no," Rose said, chasing after a rambunctious toddler. "Though I wouldn't know half of what went on inside that bizarre place. If you had been hurt I'm sure that nice Headmaster Dumbledore would have informed me. Why do you ask?"

Lily turned it over in her brain. She made many friends at Hogwarts, many that she still kept in touch with. Why did she feel that she knew this man? That something was missing? She couldn't explain why today of all days she had wanted to stop by that little park. It had felt like she was, well, sleepwalking.

She shook her head. It was simply because she was tired. Harry kept her up most nights. That must be why she felt that strange sensation when Severus had touched her hand, the feeling that they had met before, that she dreamed of him. It was all in her head. She would meet with Severus for lunch again, they would discuss things and everything would go back to normal.

"No reason. How are you, mum? You and daddy still going to Majorca this summer?"


A/N: I don't actually know the name of the town the Evans family lived in. Since Spinner's End is a made up place, I simply chose an English town name that I liked.

Lily and Severus are about 22 here, and Harry is 2 years old.