WARNING: This story will contain sexual content and child abuse. Specifically Harry will be punished by Snape. Harry will also be raped by Sirius. Plus it will be done in a slightly humorous and even mocking way along with some affection and comfort, which might be, strange to you. Another thing you must know is that this is meant to be a crack fic without a lot of plot. Furthermore the characters of Harry, Sirius, Snape, Lupin, etc. are largely not in character. However the characters mannerisms and styles of expression in dialogue are still evident throughout and this does take place factually in an alternate universe where Sirius doesn't die. If this is not your thing then don't read. It's not like I haven't warned you enough. So I'd thank you not to leave a review complaining about it all especially as I've given you ample heads up here!

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Chapter One

"Yes now! What do you think were going to wait until after dinner?" harry roared at Hermione as he took out Sirius's knife and entered Umbridge's office, alone.

With shaking hands, Harry grabbed the Floo Powder jar, and took a handful of the emerald powder. He bent over to put his head in the fireplace about to shout the location, when he stopped. Although his heart was racing with impatient desire to rescue Sirius, he realized he could get all the members of the order at Grimmauld Place to help him, if he transported his entire body there with Floo Powder through the fire.

Harry quickly stood up and jumped into the fireplace with his handful of floo powder and said clearly, "Number twelve Grimmauld Place!"

A few moments later he stepped out of the green flames, and not even stopping to brush his robes off he hurtled forward. But another second later, he collided with something that reached up to his knees.

It was Kreacher! Harry felt a surge of annoyance as he bellowed, "Where's Sirius?!"

"Kreacher's master has gone out, Harry Potter," the elf said evasively.

"But where is he, Kreacher?" said Harry.

"Gone to the department of mysteries, he has!" said the elf laughing wickedly and smiling triumphantly.

Harry in a rush of adrenaline, from this news kicked Kreacher and he was hurtled across the room. Then Harry yelled, "Is anyone here?!" Harry was running out of the kitchen and up the twisting staircase to the first landing, "Lupin! Moody!… Mrs. Weasley!"

Harry was going the other way, up the next flight of stairs. So when Sirius emerged looking quite distressed, he grabbed Harry by the edge of his robes at the collar, stopping him. "What's happened, Harry?" Sirius said, alert for danger.

"No! I thought," Harry stopped and sighed with relief, but still looking agitated. "I saw you being tortured by Voldemort! Hermione made me go and check to see if you were okay before leaving school…"

Sirius's eyes lit up in surprise and he shook his head slowly as he said gruffly, "Harry…I was just feeding Buckbeak…. Is this another of the visions you had?"

"Yes…" said Harry.

"Obviously, I am not with Voldemort, Harry. The entire order is safe. Moody having just communicated with members on duty a quarter of an hour ago."

Sirius said as he walked Harry into the drawing room, where Lupin, Mrs. Weasley, and Mundungus were present.

Lupin bolted from his chair and said, "Why aren't you at school?"

Harry stood in front of all three of them, squinting his eyes from the window letting in the weak afternoon sunshine.

"I had a-a vision again," said Harry, suddenly realizing the full enormity that Hermione was right. Voldemort had tried to trick him!

"He said he saw Voldemort torturing me," Sirius suddenly cut in.

Harry nodded, gravely and said, "It was during the history of magic O.W.L….But I guess it was a trick," he said as his emotions depleted from anger to feeling stupid as well as cold regret at believing it. For a few seconds nobody responded so Harry went on, "I was going to find a way to get the department of mysteries."

"Dumbledore has got to be contacted immediately", said Lupin, as he took his wand out leaving the room to go contact him with his patronus.

Sirius was trying to take what Harry was telling him with a little bit of respect, but he could not help feeling a bit angry. "Harry…" he started biting his lip. "I hate to say it, but Snape is right. You have got to start closing your mind to these things!" he added, yelling from frustration.

"If you had gone…," Mrs Weasley said with tears in your eyes, "to the trap, you might have been killed!"

"Let's not go there, Molly. Harry's fine."

From all the stress, Mrs. Weasley burst out, "A poor example you are though!"

"What are you talking about?" Sirius barked at her.

"The time last September when you had to venture out onto the train station and be seen!" she said with virility.

Sirius let out a roar of frustration, "Harry! We have to schedule more Occlumency with Snape for tomorrow!"

Mrs. Weasley left the room, crying. Harry could not believe it. "You'll stay here, to make sure he teaches you."

"But Sirius!" Harry almost whined. "He already swore he wouldn't teach me anymore, not like I care…"

"I CARE! He'll come here, to do it," he softened a little as he said, "I'll make sure he treats you fairly, Harry. I'll watch."

"Okay," said Harry, his heart once again filling with dread and anger at the thought of more private lessons with Snape. Lupin strode into the room and announced, "Dumbledore says Severus agreed that tomorrow evening, he'll arrive to start the Occlumency again," he added smiling mildly, thinking it was a peaceful solution.

Harry gritted his teeth, frowning. Lupin perceptively picking up on it said, "I know, Professor Snape isn't pleasant Harry. But it's best for all of us, if you learn to close your mind."

Harry was feeling a mix up of anger and confusion that was turning into rage. "But why can't Dumbledore tell me what's going on! Why am I always left in the dark?" he demanded. Suddenly Harry seized an object from a coffee and threw it, shattering whatever it was.

Looking like he was going to do more damage, Sirius yelled, "I don't give a damn about my mother's artifacts either mate, but relax, will you?"

"I think you should go to the room you stay in, calm down and think about your actions," said Lupin.

"But I need to know why-"

"Go to the room you stayed in! NOW!" Sirius yelled.

Harry gave a blazing look at his grandfather. Then stomped out of the room.