I see you. Don't think I don't. It's clear to me; you wrapped up in his arms. That expression on your face as he walks you to your dreamland. You think I don't notice? I have. There's a painful reality about that smacks me every time I see you two together. It was a blow, it really was. Finding out that I'm the third wheel. Three's a crowd, I'm hurtfully aware. You want to be with him. I understand. So who am I? Still your friend? Or don't you need me anymore? Or do you mostly want him, especially want him, only want him? Fine. I can deal with having my heart ripped open every time I see you kissing. I'll just pretend that my world isn't being shattered. That should be easy enough. Sure, the one thing I love goes to my best friend, who, by the way, has everything. So I'm poor. I can deal. So I'm just the tall redhead with a big nose. I put up with it. So he's great at Quidditch, the one sport I cherish. I still root him on. And now you. I just wonder, why me? Why am I devoid of everything I wish for? And him, he knew I liked you. Backstabber. He's a traitor, not for you. How can you love him? How can you care for him when I'm here, alone, the one who needs caring the most? I'm dying inside. Each kiss drains away my will to live. I'll just waste away, and you two won't even notice, too wrapped up in one another to worry about me. Will you grieve? Once I'm gone, will you shed a tear? That's what I'm afraid of. You two, you're my only friends. Can't you see? All it takes is a smile. For me, not him. I'll be able to go on. Right now the fall from the balcony of the Gryffindor Tower seems high enough. What do you think? My carcass, dirtying up the rich green grass around the castle. Would that bother you? Please God, tell me you would mourn. I'll leave this note. Maybe than you can understand. I love you. I always will. Looking down on you from heaven, I'll love you. And Harry. I'll miss him, Benedict Arnold that he is. Maybe you two will get married. Maybe you'll forget you ever knew me. I just scuffed up the welcome mat of your life, you know. There was nothing good to come of knowing me. Don't pretend there is. And when my body is discovered, still and lifeless, will you scream? I can see it in my mind's eye, someone unimportant like Seamus stumbling over me. Yelling for help, even than it dawning on him that help won't help. It'll go smooth-my journey to death. That's the only place I want to be. Just know that I'm happy, up there. And I want you to be happy, even if that means you have to be with Harry.