Impossible

She rummaged in the suitcase and fished out a blue box. She held it up for me to see. I recognized it. It contained tampons. I didn't understand. My mind seemed stuck. What did that have to do with her food poisoning?

"What? Are you trying to pass off this illness as PMS?"

"No," she said brokenly. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period..."

In one part of my mind I heard her complete the sentence, "…is five days late."

But the rest of my mind already knew. I could always tell. How could a vampire not know? I should have known. I had known, but I hadn't understood. What was wrong with me?

There was too much noise in my head. Thoughts were invading my mind at top volume, but there was nobody present whose thoughts I could hear. All these thoughts were mine.

Pregnant? With my child?

Impossible.

Why didn't Carlisle warn me?

I should never have let this happen.

But how could I have known?

Could she be happy? Did she want this? Many times she said she didn't want children. But she wanted me to make love to her before she changed. Her one request. The only way this could happen. Did she secretly hope? But no, then she wouldn't be so shocked, so confused.

Is she afraid? Appalled? She didn't want a child. Now she is having one. It's already making her exhausted and sick. She must be terrified.

Is it safe? It can't be safe. It grew so fast. I was always so careful to keep my venom from infecting her. But I wasn't careful about this. Something else had gotten inside her. Anything from my body could not be healthy for her.

Can I undo this? Fix it? It's my responsibility. My fault.

I had feared the act of love would hurt her. I had been positively giddy to think that it hadn't. She had liked it. She wanted more. I should have listened to my intuition.

Everything I had done to Bella since the first moment I caught her scent on the air was suddenly clear to me. I was cursed. The love she gave me, the love I longed to return had always turned to pain for her. The closer I got, the worse the results. The pattern was undeniable. I merely brought her to watch me play baseball with my family, and she ended up terrorized, injured, nearly killed. Now we'd been as close as two people can become. So of course the consequence was that much more serious.

Bella knelt next to me, and I could feel her patting me. What did she want? I couldn't think of anything I could do for her that wouldn't make this situation worse. She removed the phone from my pocket. Who was she going to call? She began talking. Someone must have called me. Strange that I didn't hear it. Who was she talking to? Alice? No, Carlisle. What were they talking about?

"I swear something moved inside me just now."

Her words jolted me. Whatever needed to be done, needed to be done without further delay. Carlisle would tell me what to do. My father was the only one who could help us. The only one who could save her. I held out my hand for the phone.


Author's Note: That is kind of short, but that is what I imagine went through Edward's mind while he appeared to be in shock. Please let me know what you think!