Okay, I've had this Idea stuck in my head for about half of a Year, so I finally decdided to write this up. Don't worry, it start's out slow, but I guess all stories do, eh?.


Chap.1: Lark Industries.


"Okay, God damn! I'm coming, Karzar!"

Gretchen reluctantly got up from the comfort of her seat and made her way to Karzar's door. She was a porcupine, like the world famous Flaky, and had red fur and quills like him. (Some people suggested a family relation, but Gretchen denied it.). That's where the similarities ended, however.

First of all, Gretchen was skinny. Yes, most women were skinny, but Gretchen hit a perfect balance. She had the right curves, the right everything.

And breasts.

See, in HTF world, breasts were actually defects rather than the norm. They were pretty common for a genetic defect—about 10 out of every 100 women got them—but most men didn't care, for many men found them to be not very attractive. But not on Gretchen.

Gretchen hit a sweet spot; her breasts were absolutely beautiful. They were the perfect size, not too big and not too small, so men swooned over her like crazy. That's where Gretchen almost wished she didn't have breasts, for the amount men falling head over heels for her got annoying. But then, that's when she remembered the myriad of situations where she got out of a tough spot by using her sexiness, and then thanked them. Besides that, she wore a standard secretary's women's suit—that was dark blue and glasses, because she was near-sighted. Unfortunately for her, these glasses made her look even sexier, (or at least according to most men…) so most men fell in love with her even faster. At her job as a secretary for Karzar Jihar at Lark Industries, she faced quite a few men every day sneaking perverted looks at her; it happened so often she usually ignored it by now.

Anyway, she was making her way to Karzar's office, and made it there without catching some men, oddly enough. Must be too busy, she thought, as she called into the intercom.

"Karzar? I'm here, so let me in!"

Anything for you, sexy, Karzar thought as he opened the door. Of course, he didn't say that, and instead said, "Ah, Gretchen, my very own secretary, come in!"

Karzar was an oddity; his Mother was a skunk, while his father was a beaver. This made him inherit the best from each, though the skunk side of him mostly dominant; the only beaver part of him was his face. Besides that, everything else was skunk. He had gray-white fur and an impressive black tuxedo on him at the moment.

"Cut the nice-guy attitude, and tell me what you need me to do."

So, you're gonna be a naughty girl today, are you? Bah, you're sexier that way, Karzar thought to himself. "I need you to search up on the Happy tree Friends.

"The HTF? Why?"
"Orders from up above."


"That's all." Man I wanna f**k her…


As Gretchen left, she turned to Karzar, and pointed at her breasts. "Oh, and by the way, you'll never get to suck these." With that, she left.

Karzar waited till he couldn't hear her anymore.


Strangely enough, no men were waiting to try to eye Gretchen's ass/boobs as she made her way back to her office. When she finally got there, she saw a note inside the small cabinet she kept next to her computer.

It read:

Dear Little Miss Whore:

You think you're just f**king working at Lark Industries, the best damn gun manufacturer to ever exist. That's what you say to everyone. Yeah, well, I know you're f**king snooping around, and you're putting your f**king breasts in places they shouldn't be in. I'm gonna find out why you love to find out about stuff you shouldn't know exists, and when I do, I'm gonna f**king get your ass fired.

Signed, unknown.

P.S: When those security guards come down to drag you to me, they're gonna f**ing rip all your damn clothes, and they're gonna invite all the guys you work with to live out the fantasies they have about banging you. Then, I'm gonna come down, and you are gonna be screaming for me to slide my c**k out of your c**t.

But I won't.

Gretchen could barely think. What the hell was this sicko talking about? She thought about reporting it, but if this guy had the influence to get her fired, she would get raped even faster. Throughout the whole day, she could barely think. She was unable to get any of the research done, and just stared blankly into space. At the end of the day, she decided to show the letter to Karzar, the only person she could trust.

Karzar was shocked by the letter. "I'm sorry, Gretchen, but I have no idea what this letter is talking about. I mean, this letter shows that you must've known about something!"

Gretchen looked back in her mind. All she could remember was searching about Lark's history. That was when she found out an administrator's password, so she was about to use it to hack that person's computer, but her computer just shut down then and there. It got back up the next day, but the piece of paper she had written the password on was missing.

Gretchen reported this to Karzar, who was thoroughly surprised. "Gretchen, How in god's holy name did you get an administrator's password?"

"I had found it on a piece of paper slipped into my cabinet."

"Well, no one ever got mad." Karzar stared at the letter a little more. "Maybe….There's something going on behind the scenes…"

"But what? Lark is just a gun manufacturer!"
"Hey, I've been thinking about this: when Lark was first started, the CEO's of other gun manufacturer's started being killed."


"Yeah. Lark went under a lot of scrutiny for it, but they never found evidence connecting us to those murders."

"Oh, Karzar, are you saying that Lark may have been involved in those murders?"

"Yeah, maybe. Maybe the authorities didn't look hard enough."

"Oh, they're au-"


Gretchen and Karzar turned around to face the doorway; a jet-black squirrel with black everyday work clothes was standing at the door way.

"Whoa, what happened, Jiharl?" Karzar asked.

Jiharl could barely speak through his fear. "They-they-they," He stuttered every word. "They killed everybody down where you work, Gretchen! They say they're looking for you!" He turned to Karzar. "And you!"

"Karzar what's going on?"

"I have no f**king idea…follow me!"

Karzar led Gretchen and Jiharl to a small tunnel behind his office. He then pushed few buttons, and the platform they were on shoot downwards. After about a minute, they stopped.
"Shhh.." Karzar whispered. "This is the underground garage."

Behind them, Jiharl was snickering.

"What the hell is so funny, Jiharl?"

"Because, you fell for it."

"WHAT!?!" Both Gretchen and Karzar yelled in unison.

"Yup. You guys are so stuck-up, so the entire floor decided to play a prank on you. And you fell for it. No one died, they're all laughing upstairs."

"Well, they won't be after I'm done twisting each and every one of their heads off." Gretchen threatened.

"Oh, relax. Come on, let's go back to our floor. Get there fast enough, and you guys might get some soda."

"I think I'd rather go home." Karzar sighed.

"Fine, be that way, mister stuck-up."

Before Jiharl left, Gretchen handed him the note she had gotten. "Jiharl, does this have anything to do with that prank?"

Jiharl glanced at the letter for a few seconds. "What, this? No! What kind of sicko would write this!?!"

"Well, someone did."

"Can't help you here, Gretchen."


Later that night, Gretchen was at her apartment loft in downtown. She was still fuming at that prank, but decided she was a little stuck-up.

"Sigh, those immature men. They'll never learn."

She though about what she needed to do tomorrow. Wait, tomorrow is Saturday! Why am I worrying about work? Well, I guess I should research the Happy Tree Friends…, she thought.

But that's for tomorrow anyway.

With that, she fell asleep.

The next day, life at work went as usual for her. One the men she worked with—and therefore had a part in the prank—a sky blue porcupine named Luro, came up to her and asked what she was doing.

"Hey, Gretchen. How's it going?"

"Get the f**k away from me, prankster."

"Well, excuse me!"
"It would've been better if you guys hadn't have freaking fooled me and Karzar into believing that security guards are after us."

"Well, you guys are always so stuck-up…"


"To change the tone, what are you researching?"

"The Happy Tree Friends,"

"Well, that shouldn't be too difficult. After all, they're freaking Millio-no, billionaires! They made craploads of money working for this company called Mondo Media."

"They did. They resigned apparently, stating only 'personal reasons we would not like to discuss.'"

"Yup. Now they live Hawaii, own their own frickin' Private Island

"Says that they now live in this huge house, that's split up into sectors, one for each of them."

"Yep. They got gardens in the middle and a garage, break room, and meeting rooms underground."

Gretchen clicked through a few more pages, printing up everything she could find. "Searching up their individual profiles now; huh, this Flaky guy is cute..."
"Huh? Flaky?" Yeah, that guy's got what it takes; he's calm until the battlefield comes. Then he turns into a killing machine. Funny thing is, he used to be the p**sy till he left Mondo Media."
"Really? Says right here he prefers a Katana to guns."

"Yup. They say, he is so strong, that he can cut straight through a bullet. And, he can appearntly move faster than the speed of light to avoid detection."

"Oh, come on, Luro. That's ridiculous."

"No, he's really said that he can do it in some reviews."

"And no one took the possibilty of him lying into account?"

"Gretchen, sometimes you think a little too intelligently."

"Oh, whatever."

Gretchen then decided to test Jiharl's words; she then shoved the letter in Luro's hands. "Luro, does this letter have anything to do with that prank?"
"Uh, no? What kind of sick f**k would write this?"

"You better be telling the truth."

Gretchen, with everything printed, gave the papers to Karzar. She then checked out, and went home.

"Man…I wish something interesting would happen during my life."

She then drifted into sleep, unaware of the events soon to take place.