Hello, my darling readers! I shall name you all Debbie. Unless your name is Debbie, in which case your name is now Slagathore. Have fun with your new names! And Happy Christmas!

P.S- I'm not really thinking right now, and that's why I didn't proofread this. Just wanted it up. I'll look it over, and make sure I didn't make any mistakes later. Promise! Swear on my future grave!

Secret Gift Exchange


"I've got it!" Flash shouted, leaping to his feet. Diana looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.


"I know what we can do for fun around here!" The Scarlett Speedster insisted.

"We're not supposed to be having fun around here," John told him wearily from his seat in front of the monitors. Flash shrugged.

"It wouldn't hurt if we did."

"It might," Hawkgirl said with a smirk, glancing at him over an alien magazine. Flash stuck his tongue out at her, and collapsed back into his chair.

"Fine. Let's ignore the Flash, fastest genius alive, and his super-amazing ideas."

"Sounds great," Hawkgirl agreed, returning to her magazine. He continued to pout, then poked his head up.

"Sure you don't want to know? I might be willing to tell you."

"We're sure." Hawkgirl muttered, but Diana, smiling sweetly at him, said,

"What's your idea, Flash?"

"Secret Santa!" Flash said, grinning now that Wonder Woman was feigning interest.

"Secret...Santa?" Diana echoed, confused. Flash nodded excitedly.

"We're doing it in my school." He said happily. "You pick a name out of a hat, or something, in our case, an alien hat, then you buy a present for whoever you pick, and you have to guess who you pick!" Hawkgirl snorted.

"That's dumb."

"What? Do aliens not wear hats?" Flash replied, grinning as she shot him an annoyed look.

"What if we don't have money, Fastest Genius Alive?" He shrugged.

"It's the thought that counts, dumb-dumb. You make a present."

"Wait-" John began, looking confused. "Did you say you were doing it in your school? Are you in third grade, or something?" Flash rolled his eyes behind his mask.

"Har-har, John, you're a riot." John shrugged, still looking puzzled.

"What's a Santa?" Diana asked, suspicious. She had been told about Satan, an equivalent to Hades, and this 'Santa' creature seemed quite similar.

"He's this guy that dresses all in red, and he uses magic to get into your house and then leaves you stuff!" Flash informed her, buzzing with excitement. Diana smiled at him, shaking her head.

"Flash- you're confused." She said with a sigh. "This 'Santa' must steal your things, not give. Who would break and enter a home merely to leave things? I don't understand why a thief is revered in such a way as a 'Secret Santa', though..."

"No, Diana, Santa only breaks into your house to give you free stuff," John informed her importantly, beaming. Flash nodded.

"Superman to Watchtower," Said a crackling voice. "I am nearing the watchtower."

"Hey, Supes! What say you to Secret Santa?"

"I love Secr-" He began enthusiastically, before a lot of static. Then, the cool, even voice of Batman stated,


"Aw! Bats! Don't be a spoilsport! It'll be fun!" Diana decided to ask Batman, the only sane member of the group, about her doubts.

"Is Santa Satan?" She asked. There was a pause, as John stared at her, Flash was fighting a laugh, and Hawkgirl stood, and said,

"I'm out.", before leaving the room.


"He dresses in red," Diana insisted, hoping she wasn't making a fool out of herself, but still. It was a reasonable question, wasn't it? "He breaks into people's houses. His name is Santa, for Hara's sake."

"Diana...Santa isn't real." Something that sounded like a scream of pain and denial reached everyone's ears, followed abruptly by Superman, saying,

"If you don't believe, he won't bring you presents! That's why you're so grumpy! You're giftless at Christmas! You only get coal!" Followed by,

"Cl- Superman. There. Is. No. Santa. You live in the North Pole- haven't you ever noticed there aren't any elves scurrying around, carrying candy canes?!"

"Your lack of belief won't sway me! Besides- I only go to the fortress of solitude for solitude!"

"You work with The Flash!" Flash suddenly turned pink.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"People need solitude when they work with you," Batman replied, matter-of-factly.

"Oh! I see how it is!" Flash shouted. "You don't think Christmas is a magical time of year because you don't believe in Santa, so you take it out on the jolly genius, huh?"

"...Jolly genius?"

"But, Bats! If we do Secret Santa, it'll be one of us! And we do exist."

"I'm aware of your existence, Flash. You've made me painfully aware of your existence, Flash."

"Just- say you'll do it. Come on! How often do you do luxurious stuff, huh? If I pick you, I might just get you fancy stuff! Like wine, or soap, or fish eggs!"

"Wine, soap, and fish eggs. That's what you think the rich survive on?" John asked with a smirk. "Well, if I ever need to know your secret identity, I can cross off all the billionaires in Central."

"For your information, GL, soap, wine, and fish eggs are all amazing luxurious things!"

"I'm sure." Flash pouted, crossing his arms.

"We're aboard!" Superman shouted, coming in from the hallway, followed by a grumpy Mr. Scrooge- er- Batman. Flash rushed up to them.

"Awesome! Do you have an alien hat?" Superman looked at Flash with a mixture of embarrassment and plain confusion.


"Darn!" Flash said, snapping his fingers in mock anger. "Where's J'onn?"

"In his room," Diana replied. "Meditating." Flash nodded, recalling the last time he had pulled the martian from a meditation session. He shivered with horror.

"Okaaay. Hawkgirl?"

"Right here." Came a tired voice from the hallway. "I saw that Superman and Batman were back." She sat in the seat she had occupied, casting a curious and wistful eye upon the magazine. "So...any danger?"

"None except the jolly genius." Batman muttered.

"Come on, Bats!" Flash begged, ignoring Hawkgirl's comment of, 'You heard about that, too?'. "Secret Santa! If I pick you, I'll buy you whatever you want! I promise! I swear on my future grave!" Batman looked at him grimly.

"How depressing."

"Come on. I have to be depressing once every year, and Christmas is an awesome time to do it, huh? According to Futurama, Suicide Booths are popular these days." Batman quirked an eyebrow.

"You know there are no such things as Suicide Booths."

"Not on this planet." Hawkgirl muttered from behind her magazine.

"So....Secret Santa?" Flash asked, hope shining in his eyes.

"What if one of us is Jewish?" John asked. "We never really discuss this kind of thing."

"So...Secret Gift-Giver?" Superman offered.

"It's not as catchy..." Flash whined.

"Gecret Gift-Giver?" Diana asked, trying to redeem her 'is Santa Satan' question. It didn't work out well.

"Gecret?" Flash asked, a smirk on his face.

"It means a hidden shadow in Greek!" She said quickly, flushing.

"Does not!" Flash replied. She put a hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"It does in ancient Greek."

"You don't speak Greek on your island- when we went, everyone spoke fluent English!" She glared at him.

"We learned it as a second language."


"Flash. Diana. Shut up." Hawkgirl commanded, wishing she could reach her temples through the mask so she could rub them. "We will call it a secret gift exchange. It's not catchy. It's not biased. We buy gifts, we give gifts. We give Hawkgirl another headache, we get flown up in the air and dropped," She glared at Flash. "Or we have to prove we speak Greek." She glared at Diana, whose shifty eyes found the floor. "Everyone-" She glared at Batman. "-will be involved. Got it?"

"Got it." The other superheros grumbled bitterly, with the exception of John and Superman, neither of whom had been threatened or yelled at. They beamed as they said it.

"I do speak Greek," Diana mumbled.

"Yea, yea, whatever you say, princess."


Yep. That was the end. But the question is this: should this be a oneshot (ending here), or should it have chapters (which means I probably won't concentrate much on my other stories)

If you're in favor of chapters, who should pick who from the ALIEN hat? If you're in favor of this staying as a oneshot, you should bring in the dancing lobsters!

Peace out!