A/N I'm writing again. But slowly. Hehe.

Anyway, this is a random thing I came up with last night.


Chapter 1: Somewhere

Tony was pacing around his 'room', trying to resist the temptation to punch something. The last time he had, people walking past outside had been very curious as to 'what that huge bang was'.

He didn't want them knowing.


Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign

Instead there is only silence

Can't you hear my screams

Never stop hoping

Need to know where you are

But one thing's for sure

You're always in my heart


Frustration took over. "Dammit!" he yelled, putting his hands to his head. Here he was, on a ship, with no way of finding her. He knew she wouldn't be safe in Israel. he just knew it.

He couldn't call her. It was very likely that if he did, he would either hang up after her 'Hello?' or never be able to hang up.

How could this happen? How could things end up this way?

How could they end up this way?


I'll find you somewhere

I'll keep on trying

Until my dying day

I just need to know whatever has happened

The truth will free my soul


Thanks to Abby, his main contact back on dry land, he knew that Ziva had been injured on one of her missions. Being Mossad, injuries were fairly common occurrences, but still. She was hurt.

It had taken Mossad four days to find her and the guy she was working with. Four whole days.

Tony kicked his bed, the swore at the pain in his toes. He hadn't slept properly in weeks.

The only thing worse than knowing was not knowing.


Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home

I want to embrace you, and never let you go

Almost hope you're in heaven

So no-one can hurt your soul

Living in agony, coz I just do not know

Where you are


He needed to be back with her. He needed to be back home, at his desk, sitting across from her, laughing at some mistake that McGee had made.

It was his own fault that he felt this way. He knew it. He couldn't deny it.

It was all because of their last conversation at NCIS.

"What are we going to do?" McGee asked as he packed his things into a box. It was amazing just how much crap a single desk could contain, something which Tony had no problem telling him.

Ziva was subdued. Going home was a horrible prospect for her. Her father was there. Memories were there. Everything she had left behind was there.

Tony watched her carefully. The moment Vance had told them they were all reassigned he had only just resisted the urge to throw the files in his face. He was already feeling bad enough about Jenny, but then to separate him from the people he needed most?

McGee closed his box. "I'm gonna go see Abby. See you later guys." Then he left.

Tony and Ziva kept packing in silence, until it was broken by a sniffing noise. Tony looked up.

Ziva was crying. Not completely breaking down, crashing to the floor and barely breathing crying, but tears were slowly running down her cheeks, taking her mascara with it.

Within seconds Tony had dropped the paper he was holding and was at her side. She turned her face away, trying to blink away the tears.

"Ziva," he said quietly. He reached around so she was looking at him. The tears sparkled in the dim light coming from their desk lamps. "It's alright..."

"How can you say that?" she said. She wasn't angry, she wasn't annoyed...she was defeated. She knew she was, but she still had some fight in her. "How can you possibly say that things are alright when I am practically being deported and McGee is being sent down to the geek squad and you...and you..."

Tony couldn't help himself. He put his arms around her, so she was crying into his shoulder. He felt her hands meet in the middle of his back, and tried to keep his heart rate down.

He couldn't remember the last time they were this close. When they were undercover, perhaps. But that was pretending for the most part, and this was real.

He kissed her on the head. A somewhat romantic gesture, but mostly a comforting one.

Her hands tensed behind him for a second, but they stood like that for minutes that seemed like hours.

A voice distracted them. "Ziva. Let's go," Gibbs said from the elevator. He was taking her home so she could pack all the rest of her things.

Tony didn't release her for a few seconds. He didn't like the idea of this being the last time her saw her.

As she pulled away, she tilted her head up so she could whisper into his ear.

"I love you."

And with that, she was gone.

If only he hadn't embraced her like that. He could have just put a hand on her shoulder. Or something.

But instead she had ended up telling him that, and he realised he felt the same way.

Now he needed her. He needed to know where she was, what she was doing, how she was.

For all he knew, she was dead. It had been a while since he had had an update from Abby.

Maybe he would never see her again. Maybe he would never get to tell her how he felt as well.


Wherever you are, I won't stop searching

Whatever it takes, need to know

I'll find you somewhere

I'll keep on trying

Until my dying day

I just need to know whatever has happened

The truth will free my soul


He just needed to know. He needed to know that she was alright.

He sat down on his bed, his toe still smarting.

He made a silent promise to himself, and to her.

I will find her.

A/N I hope you liked it! Feedback is appreciated.

There are two more chapters for this story. I'm just putting the finishing touches on the last one now.