Chemical Warfare : First Shot

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Keep on leaving them. Sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while, but with the break I figured I'd get back on it. Please Read and Review!


Zim howled with rage that the human had the audacity to lose consciousness in the presence of the Almighty Zim! Gir squealed as his computer snickered, flickering with cynic delight.

"That could have gone better."

"Shut up!" Zim hissed, clicking his claws together angrily as he loomed over the fallen boy. Dib-stink. Red eyes glowed as they peered at him, calculating the difficulty of handling the lanky Dib-creature. "Stupid, stupid... filthy..."

Hissing, Zim picked Dib up, grimacing as the boy's mouth fell on his shoulder. Gir ran and opened the elevator, humming giddily.

"What a tall Sleeping Beauty!"

The doors closed and Zim shifted his weight, his claws digging into Dib's sides. His crimson eyes slid to gaze at his SIR unit.

"Gir, what nonsense are you spewing out now?"

"Sleeping Beauty, Master. You know... the human that fell asleep until awakened by a handsome prince?"

The slice of technology giggled madly as Zim rolled his eyes. The doors opened and Zim dropped to his knees, his chest heaving. What the hell— oh! Red eyes fluttered shut, every muscle in his body trembling with mind-numbing pleasure. Gir bounded to the couch, ignoring his Master's... distress.

Zim tried to move, to do anything, but was blinded by sensation. His mind had a sudden moment of repulsive clarity as Zim took a deep breath. Dib-thing is breathing on my antennae! Just as the realization hit him, another wave of pleasure coursed through his body.

Biting back every carnal instinct that screamed at him to indulge himself, Zim pushed Dib to the floor. The Irken fell to the floor, trying to get his body to slow down. His skin relished the cool tile against his hot skin.

"Idiotic... Primitive... Disgusting..." Ghostly sensations returned and Zim whined, his antennae curling. "Dammit..."

Taking his time, Zim gathered his wits over the span of ten minutes. Dib was still on the floor, blissfully unaware of the erotic act he had been a part of. Zim glared at the human, his face flushed. If there hadn't been a truce, Dib's intestines would he splattered on the opposite wall by now.

Instead, the Irken was allowing the boy to sleep on his floor. Zim poked Dib's face harshly with a claw. The skin broke, blood dribbling down to the floor. It soon stopped, healing quickly just like the computer said it would.

"Wake up, monkey." Zim growled. "Wake up!"

Gir smiled, finally acknowledging the situation.

"Master, it won't work. He needs his prince!"

"Don't be ridiculous. He's just being stubborn." Zim pinched the human's face. He was rewarded with a groan, but no consciousness. Poking prodding, Zim grew more and more frustrated. "Gir, do a search on this 'Sleeping Beauty.'"

"Yes, Master!"

The television became a computer screen. Zim's red eyes widened as he saw the blonde woman sleeping. He read the fairytale. Saved by a prince... first kiss...

Kissing in itself was disgusting. The ritual of waking up by a kiss was just pathetic. Humans, so weak and attention-loving beasts. Zim grabbed Dib by the collar of his shirt, yanking him up.

"Stupid worm-baby. You better thank Zim repeatedly for the rest of your pitiful life!"


Caroline yawned and shut off the game. Gaz grumbled, complaining about Dib and the lack of pizza. Just when Caroline was about to get ready to go to sleep, a computer screen dropped down from the ceiling.

"Warning, missile approaching."

Gaz pushed on the recliner and it opened up the floor. After pushing a confused Caroline down, she jumped in just as a fiery explosion rocked her living room. They landed in Dr. Membrane's lab.

"Jesus!" Caroline coughed, her eyes wide. "What the hell was that?"

The computer screen returned.

"Enemy remains outside of the perimeter."

The teenager turned to her violent friend.

"Where's your dad?"

"He's on vacation."

Another explosion rocked the house, causing the two girls to fall to the floor.




Her eyes were so... green. To Dib, she was the only woman worth loving. All the other superficial smiles and synthetic faces were nothing compared to his Mother.

She turned to him, smiling like she meant it. Her long brown hair was so soft, so wavy. She was like an angel in a dark, lonely world.

His Mother played with him. She would let him paint with her, and she would teach him that creativity was one of the most beautiful things on Earth.

She had taken Dib's hand and dipped his finger into the navy blue paint. He was so small, so pure and... idealistic.

"Go on," she would say, "make art."

And he did. She would put on music and they would smile and laugh as they painted as Mother and Son. She had been so bright. Brighter and warmer than the sun. An angel. A goddess. Dib had smiled up at her, and she had called him by name, but just "Son," but "Dib."

The scene chances. The colors chip away and leave Dib alone in the Darkness. His Mother appears. Suddenly, she is not so bright. She is faded. Tired. Those green eyes are black and red around the edges.

She had been crying.


Dib's eyes opened. He saw green, and for a heart-stopping moment, he had the foolish thought that it was Mother. Sense, however, clicked in when he saw the blurred outline of antennae.

"Zim?" Dib shoved his hands forward, effectively removing the Irken from his body. "What... what the heck were you doing?"

"Trying to wake you up! Why did you go to sleep?"

"I fainted, you idiot!"

"Maybe if your stupid ritual wasn't so primitive—"

"Human ritual?"

"Only a kiss can wake you pitiful creatures. Disgusting!" Zim spat, but his eyes widened and his antennae jumped up. Dib stiffened, not used to Zim being so expressive... then again, he had rarely seen him for such a long time without a disguise. "Your eyes are shining, Dib-human." His hands flew up, his cheeks burning red. He immediately rubbed his eyes, scowling. Zim's antennae lowered at the human's aggression. "What's wrong with you, beast?"

"Nothing!" Dib put his glasses back on. "It's nothing, Zim."

Not believing him, the Irken's eyes bored into Dib's glasses. Suddenly, an annoying electronic melody filled the tense silence. Dib's phone. He pulled it out, pressing his ear to the receiver.


"Dib... that girlfriend of yours is destroying the house."

Gaz's deadly voice crackled through the phone.


"The one with all those sausages."

Dib paled, his glasses sliding down his nose.


Zim hissed, Gaz's monstrous voice spoke.

"Yes. Make her leave. Now."

She hung up, Zim's long tongue flicked out.

"Why did you say that vermin's name?"

Dib's wide eyes swivelled to land on the Irken. An enemy. A comrade.

"She's back. Tak is back, and she's here."


Smokey air swirled in Caroline's lungs. She gasped, her heart paralyzed fear.

"Dammit! Isn't the anything in here we can use?"

Gaz punched computer and the machinery shuddered.

"Manual override."

The dark girl snorted and tossed an odd set of goggles and controllers to Caroline.

"Have you ever played Call of Duty 4?"

"Is that even a question? Of course I have."

"Then help me out."

Gaz slipped on the goggles. Caroline followed her example. The world around her vanished. Instead, infrared vision swamped her eyes. It all made sense. Just play the game, Caroline. She took a deep breath and maneuvered herself towards the strange girl from earlier.

Just play the game.


Rubble and debris crumbled down from the ceiling. Tak smiled. Come on out, Dib. The smell of fire gave Tak delicious chills. She shivered.

A picture caught her eye. She stopped.

What's this? A woman and child. Mother and Son. It took very little thought to see that the boy was her target Dib. But the woman...

Her wavy hair and green eyes... the green could have faded into blue... and the wave could be seen in that odd spike. Yes... this was the boy's Mother. Strange, he did not mention her back when we were acquainted. All he had told her was that he had a Father and sister. But he never mentioned a Mother.

Odd creatures. Disgusting mating habits.

She took the picture anyway, slipping it into her Pak. Tak activated her ray gun, quietly rounding the corner. Nothing. No Dib. Tak moved on when she heard something click behind her. She whirled around to see two robots. One with a scowling face, and the other grinning smugly.

"Caroline, do the honors."

"Hasta la vista, baby."

The robot fired something, and Tak's world faded to black.


Zim pulled Dib up to the second floor where kept all his vehicles. The human had changed. He had been terror-stricken, but now he was absolutely livid.

"Dib-stink, your teeth gnashing is hurting Zim's antennae." His antennae pressed themselves down, showing his annoyance. Dib immediately stopped. Zim's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Take the hover-bike."

The teenager raised his eyebrows, mounting the bike.

"Are you going in your ship?"

"Of course. Less talk, more action."


The Irken entered the cockpit. Dib revved the bike's engine. Zim opened the roof. He grinned maliciously at the human.

"Smeeties first."

Dib rolled his eyes and pressed down on the accelerator. The bike gave a mighty kick before launched into the sky. The wind blew Dib's hair back, and the stars blurred together into thin white stripes. He let out a war-cry and soared towards his house. He heard Zim behind him.

The exhilaration of flying got the best Dib, and he grinned, letting both of his hands catch the wind.

"Quit fooling around, human! We've got to work to do!" Zim screeched from inside his ship. Dib smiled at him, and it wasn't because he had won or was in pain. No, Dib truly smiled because... they were working together. Zim looked away, grumbling darkly. "Stupid female... meddling with Zim's planet!"

They rounded the street corner, and they both stopped, their mouths hanging open.

Dib's house was intact. In fact, it pristine. Dib let out an airy exhale, and the sound brought whispers of pleasure back into Zim's body. The Irken squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

"What the—?"

Gaz opened the door, panting. Caroline jumped, punching the air enthusiastically.

"Membrane House: 1, Crazy-Psycho-Chick: 0. Woo!"

Zim did some fancy maneuvering to avoid sight while Dib simply landed the bike. Zim jumped down from the roof he had landed on, hastily pulling on his wig and slipping in his contacts.

"Dib, what's the meaning of this?"

The human boy shook his head, dazed.

"I don't know, Zim."

Gaz and the celebrating Caroline and stomped up to her brother. She snarled, her hair curling.

"You've got some explaining to do."


Tak awoke to see white. Her body was bound, but her mind was free. She growled, working on her restraints with a lethal determination.


A/N: Thank you for reading. Tell me if you liked it, or hated it. I'M READY FOR ANYTHING! Ha, ha. Well, please review! Thanks!


p.s. In case there was some confusion: ZIM DID NOT KISS DIB. He just missed it, lol.