Warning: This fanfiction succesfully degrades Xigbar in, just about, every way possible. Do not read unless prepared. XD ...I like applesauce.
A few months later…
Demyx rushed through the hallway of Castle Oblivion, panting. "How come I'M the one who has to get him…?" he whined under his breath. Right now, he was searching for Xaldin – it was suspected that he was the one who had stabbed the PC. He'd probably had some problems winning a particularly hard game and stabbed it out of frustration. Demyx had already gone Number 3's room, and he wasn't there. So now, he was running around the castle like a chicken with its head chopped off, looking for "The Dreadlocks and Sideburns of DOOM".
That's when he heard music blasting somewhere close. It seemed it was coming from Xigbar's room… Faintly, he could make out the words – "Listen up, ya'll… Cuz this is it! The beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious!"
Demyx stopped. "Oh, wait a minute... THAT'S my song." He glanced around quickly, then sneaked back to Xigbar's room. "Xaldin can wait… The song's only, like, 4 minutes, right?"
He got back a little after the verse started. "…make them boys go loco. They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo…"
Wait a sec… He thought, narrowing his eyes. Is it just me…? Or does it sound like someone else is singing along with it…? He snickered a little, thinking about how funny it would be to catch Xigbar singing this song – blackmail for MONTHS!!! He held his hand to his mouth, to stop from laughing out loud, and cracked the door open part way, and gasped. What he saw was too good to be true.
Xigbar was dancing in the middle of his room with nothing but boxers on, holding his hairbrush to his mouth like it was a microphone or something. He had a HUGE grin on his face, and was singing in his best imitation of Fergie's voice. It was pretty good, too. Luckily, his back was turned to the door, so he couldn't see Demyx spying on him.
Xigbar – The Freeshooter – in nothing but his boxers, singing in a girly voice, and shaking his butt to "Fergalicious"… It was too much for Demyx to handle. He sank to the floor, trembling and giving little giggles while pressing his hand to his mouth harder. He couldn't help it – was just too funny. He was trying his best keep his self control and not to burst out laughing.
While Demyx was slumped on the floor, trying desperately not to give himself off, Axel came around the corner, looking around. "Oh! Demyx! There you are! Where have you been? The Superior—"
Demyx quickly jumped up, as quietly as he could. He pressed one finger to his lips with a, "Shhhh…!" And then, he got a surprisingly evil idea on a way to get back at Xigbar. Oh yes, he remembered that time Xigbar had shot at him for calling him "old timer" – he remembered it clearly. All he'd done was call Xigbar a little name. And he'd gotten shot at! But now, it was time for payback.
He glanced back into the room, and motioned for Axel to come over. Axel raised an eyebrow, then crept over to where Demyx was standing. He peeked though the crack in the door.
Xigbar was now making a lot of dramatic hand motions to go with the words. "…And if you was suspicious, All that (he paused) is fictitious. I blow kisses (he blew a kiss at an imaginary person) I put them boys on rock, rock! (he made a sorta pumping motion with his arm when he said this) And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got. So delicious..." And that's when he started popping.
Axel clapped his hand over his mouth, and leaned on the door frame for support. His whole body was shaking with mirth. "Can't… Breathe…" he whispered to Demyx. "So… Funny…"
"I know!" Demyx mouthed back, wiping his eyes.
"What's going on…?" They both turned around to see Luxord, Roxas, and Saix staring at them accusingly.
The two glanced at each other, put their fingers to their lips, and motioned them to come over wildly.
Roxas and Luxord looked at each other, shrugged, and went over. Saix followed behind, skeptically.
"What…?" Roxas asked softly as he arrived. Axel and Demyx just pointed into the room. He blinked, then looked in. Luxord looked in after him.
"…Fergalicious, definition: make them boys go crazy! They always claim they know me, comin' to me – call me Xemmy! I'm the 'X', 'I', 'G', the 'G', the 'I', the 'E', and can't no other 'Member put it down like me! (he swung his hips as he said these last few words.) I'm Fergalicious! ..."
Roxas began giggling, and put his hand over his mouth. Luxord's mouth dropped open as he watched Xigbar prance around more in his undies. So… Hot… he thought, his eye twitching.
Axel stared at him. "Hey, uh… Luxord…? You alright, man?" He waved his hand in front of Luxord's face. No response. The lights are on but no one's home… he thought.
Saix, who was now backing up, grinning, murmured, "I must tell the Superior…!" then took off, snickering.
"Spread the word!" Demyx whispered after him. Saix nodded.
Demyx turned back around, watched Xigbar make a fool out of himself a little more, and then chuckled to himself. Excellent…
And so it began…
AN: Ew... This fanfic is so old and nasty, it makes me laugh. XD But, hey - overall, it's a great improvement over my first one, right? Right?
Anyways, yeah. Luxord has a massive crush on Xigbar (cuz I'm corny that way! ;D) but no one really knows it\choses to ignore, including Xigbar himself. It's kinda an on-going joke in a lot of my fanfics. And so is this whole ordeal, but I don't think I make as big of a deal out of it. XD It was nice doing this, though... Really a blast from the past! Next chaptuuur!~