A/N: I had a sudden plot bunny outbreak a few nights ago, and I have them to blame for this fluffy one shot. :D And a TemaTen/ShikaTema and a Kurenai x Anko that I'm concocting as multi chaptered fics eventually…do you think you'd want to see those when I have time? The TemaTen/ShikaTema is probably like a three shot or something with lots of drama and longish chapters, and the other would have ten or so. I'm thinking. If you'd like them...? :3
Meanwhile, I am hunting down tofurkey for a Vegetarian!Thanksgiving, drinking way too much coffee, and being excited for Umbrella Academy: Dallas that comes out on Wednesday. xD The tofurkey hunt isn't going so well though, so I'll probably have to draw a picture of a turkey on a block of tofu instead… -sweatdrop- That's okay!! :D
Enjoy and thank you so much for reading!
Disclaimer: -points to Kishi- He owns it all. Let's go mob his house and make him write all of the supposedly 'dead' Akatsuki peoples back in. :DD
The rickety old bus was piled full of rowdy students, some staring listlessly out the window, some zoned out with their iPods turned up full blast, and some making out in the back seats. Sasori and Deidara totally would have been in that last option, but all the inconspicuous seats were taken, so they settled for the other ones.
Deidara had plugged his ears with music, the heavy beats leaking out into the air around them. Sasori's peaceful little realm of boredom and carsick-ness was being pelted with screamo arrows. He cringed, rubbing his eyes. "Can you turn that down, please?"
"What? I can't hear you, un!" The blonde half-yelled innocently, head banging away.
"I said," he sighed, raising his voice, "can you turn that down?"
"What, un? I'm sorry, you're so quiet, Danna!"
His eyes flashed with annoyance. "Dammit, Dei! I love you but you are such an idiot!"
Straining to hear, he cocked his head and leaned forward. "Hunh? I didn't get that, un! Did you say you loved me? I'm not sure, un…because you're so quiet today!"
"Mmmph…" he groaned, smacking himself in the forehead. Some days his lover could be so damn impossible to live with.
"Danna?" He waved his arm, trying to get his attention again. "Danna, un? Hey, can you hear me?"
"Yes. Yes I can. You're the one who's yelling, stupid!" Sasori muttered, finally lunging at him and stealing the white earbuds away.
"Hey, un!" Dei whined, trying to swipe them back. "You thief, Danna…"
"Oh, Deidara…" He shook his head in surrender. "You can be so…so…you can be so Deidara."
"Un? I get my very own adjective?"
A laugh slipped out his throat. "Um. Yeah, sure. Because you're so special…"
He smirked knowingly. "Ri-i-ight. I'll just go ahead and take that as a compliment, then. Anyway, why are we even going on this trip, un? Didn't we go on a field trip to some nature reserve or another in, like, fourth grade, un? It seems sort of pointless…"
"Better than doing more pointless work though, isn't it?"
"Yeah, but you actually like chopping up poor dead animals in biology, Danna." He stuck out his tongue and cringed darkly. "Poor dead animals…getting tortured by my scary homicidal necrophiliac boyfriend, un! It's terrible, un."
Sasori pouted. "Shut up, would you? I'm not a necrophiliac…seriously, what the hell? Where did you even get that from? God. You're the scary one, Dei. And it's called dissection, not 'chopping up poor dead animals'. It's educational, okay?"
"Whatever you say, un." Deidara shivered, and then added to himself quietly, "This is exactly why a vegetarian should never fall in love with a meat eater…"
"Hey, I said I loved you, un! Doesn't that negate the other part, un?"
"Meh." Sasori smiled. "I guess so. Here, you can have these back now. Ridiculously loud iPods are better than having to listen to you dig yourself a hole…" He tossed back the earbuds, and Deidara caught them happily. He grinned as he put them in.
"Hee, you know you love me, un. You know you love me."
"Alas," he sighed dramatically, "This is true."
When the bus rolled in to the parking lot and they were all divided into the care of several overwhelmed tour guides, they were turned loose into the woods. Those tour guides may have been able to handle them as ten year olds, but as teenagers they were too adept at slipping away unnoticed. Deidara and Sasori were no exception.
The blonde whispered playfully into Sasori's ear. "Why, hello there sir. Who wants to get accidentally-on-purpose separated from the group, un? Anyone, anyone…?"
"Hmmm…" He considered, teasingly drawing out the moment. "I'll have to think about that. How about yes please?"
"Ha. Good choice, I've got to say. Come on, un!" Grinning, he took his hand and they melted into the brush. Sasori was quick to latch onto him firmly, pecking his lips. They kissed, wandering deeper into the trees. It didn't matter if they got lost, because it would just give them more time to themselves. Anyway, that was what field trips to the forest were for, weren't they? At least one kid had to get lost somewhere along the line or it didn't count. Well, maybe in fourth grade it wasn't all that intentional, but it still happened. All field trips, no matter where they were to, had the unspoken rule of somebody straying from the group and inciting panic. It just had to be that way. Anymore nobody bothered with panicking too much because they simply didn't care (or notice)… Sasori and Dei weren't about to not take advantage of prime opportunities for make-out sessions. If they couldn't on the bus, hell yeah they would in the woods.
Or so Sasori thought. Deidara's current attention span said otherwise. "Hey, un!" He broke their lips, noticing an occupied bird nest above them. "Awh, look at that. Whatever kind of bird that is, I need to sculpt one…isn't it pretty?"
"You'll only blow it up anyway." Sasori complained, trying to get them back to tongue wrestling. What could he say, he liked kissing. Loved it. And damn, his boyfriend was good at it "It would be a waste of time."
"No, un. It would be art at its finest!" He corrected, eyes scanning the landscape for more inspiration. "Look, are those deer tracks?"
"Does it matter…?"
"Well, not really, un. But don't you think it's sort of pretty out here?" By now his head was glancing everywhere, taking things in.
"No." Sasori said flatly. "No, I don't. I prefer indoors, thank you very much."
"You're such a jerk, un." The blonde rolled his eyes at him. "Everything is alive, un! It's all exploding with life! Exploding, un!"
"That's great. I don't care." For him right now, Deidara going off on another of his damn rambling muses was like a big flashing sign that shouted "NO SEX FOR YOU TONIGHT." Ahh. Life wasn't fair, was it?
"For someone who claims to be all awesome and smarter than everyone, you sure are closed minded. At least I still appreciate your art even when I don't agree with it…" Deidara wrinkled his nose again.
"What?" Sasori scoffed. "That's not true." Mm… Yeah, it was true. He hated when Deidara got so spot-on like that. It meant his stupid little brat knew him more than he'd like him to. More than he'd like anyone to. He didn't like to get close to people because he hated giving himself away and showing he wasn't totally a cold prick. For some reason though, he'd let it go ahead and happen with Deidara.
"It is too true, un. Generally speaking, you're an asshole." He smiled, nodding.
"Well. You never shut up. Ever."
"All you do is brood, un. Worse than Itachi's little brother sometimes."
Flustered, Sasori simply kept quiet. True, true, and true again.
"Danna, you're a first class bastard, un." He concluded, still smiling, and climbed up onto a fallen tree that stretched over a small ravine with a river below. "I have no idea why I love you. I really shouldn't, un. You're bad for me." He balanced himself, arms out, and started to walk to the other side. Halfway through he started to wobble, and Sasori cringed.
"Dei, get down from there!"
"Un?" He glanced back.
"Get down!" He repeated impatiently, biting his lip.
The sculptor smirked slyly. "Awh. Are you worried about me, un?"
A blush overtook his normally stony face. "What? No, of course not. Just get down."
"Worried I might break my neck, un?" He egged him on, dangling one foot over the edge of the trunk only for the sake of getting a reaction.
"Dammit, I said just get down!" By then his face was positively squeamish, and he nervously kept an eye on his foot, willing it to stop being so adventurous. A Deidara-Gone-Splat was not the kind of Deidara he liked to cuddle with. Cuddling with a Deidara-Gone-Splat was bound to be messy, and…oh, who was he kidding? He cared about that brat, and that little fact was doing no good for his blood pressure.
"Ha ha. You're worried about me, un! So much for being a first class bastard. This slip up of yours brings you down to at least third class, un. Real bastards aren't supposed to let anything faze them, un."
"No,I…" Seriously, could you not go saying things like 'slip up' while you're about to fall and kill yourself?! You know what? If that log doesn't break your neck first, I will! Sasori sighed, conceding to his defeat. "Yeah. I am…"
Hearing that made Dei's knowing smirk spread to both ends of his face, damn him. "Awhh. You're so cute when you're overprotective, un!" He chuckled, turning around and coming back.
"Heh, I'm sorry. I'm as mean as you are, Danna." Cheerily, he grabbed his hand and started back to find the rest of their biology class. "But you know what?"
Sasori watched their hands swinging happily between them, right where they belonged. "Hm?"
"I think we deserve each other, un."
Once again, true.