Hello All! Well as you all know the holiday season is, to quote Mr. A. Bunker "once again at our throats" and as I don't think I'll be able to write a Christmas themed story this year as I had hoped. Getting caught up in school work, will be taking my first college final exam unless you count last year when I won 50 dollar for creating a business plan but any woo…I decided to try my hand at a Thanksgiving one. I didn't plan on it being so long, but I really enjoyed writing it.
Oo one thing, this story does follow my last one, but you do not have to read it, all you have to know is Mike and Gloria are not together and Edith is staying in California to help Gloria look after Joey, probably won't stay like that for long you now me everyone has to have a happy ending!
So here's my holiday gift to you all! Enjoy!
BTW I own nothing!
"Hey kiddo, get down here it's time for dinner!" Archie called upstairs to his niece as he placed the frying pan on the kitchen table. With Edith still over in California the two had been eating takeout for weeks, with only a handful of days of home cooked meals made by Stephanie or Archie; neither tasting that great.
"I didn't hear the doorbell ring." The twelve year old girl said as she bounced down the stairs.
"Nah, nah no eatin' out tonight." Archie told her.
"Well I only thought so, because of the smell." Stephanie continued, "I thought you burned what you were making and then ordered pizza. Again."
Archie frowned as he watched the young girl take a seat, "Don't youse know when something is bad for one sense it's better for the others?"
Stephanie's face dropped as she saw the black almost charcoal dinner in front of her, "The only sense this meal is good for is hearing."
Archie's frown increased, "Was that a shock?"
Before Stephanie could answer the phone rang in the other room; quickly she ran off to answer it.
"Hello," she greeted the person on the other line as her uncle pushed open the swinging door, "Hi Aunt Edith." Stephanie continued smiling away as Archie quickly made his way to the phone and started to take the phone away from her.
"Uncle Archie's trying to poison me!" she cried to her aunt before her uncle finally grabbed the phone away from her.
Archie frowned at Stephanie, then looked over at the kitchen remembering the charcoal loaf he'd taken out of the oven, he sighed as he looked back at the dark haired girl, "Go use the upstairs phone to order the pizza." He instructed her and she dashed upstairs a smile across her face.
A small smile returned to his face as he placed the phone next to his ear to talk to his wife.
"Oh hello Archie!" Edith said happily before changing her tone to a somewhat confused tone, "Why did Stephanie say youse was poisoning her?"
Archie quickly tried to come up with something, "Uh she didn't say poisoning she said josioning." he said saying that last word so fast Edith would have never understood it and even if she did she wouldn't be able to ask as her husband quickly changed the subject, "Um how's everything over there?"
"Oh everything's just fine." Edith said smiling happy to hear her husbands voice, "Oh and guess what!"
"Oh no you gotta guess."
"Edith," Archie frowned, "I don't wanna guess."
"But you gotta." Edith began, "Otherwise I woulda just told youse and not said guess."
"Edith I ain't gonna waste my time on guessing."
"But Archie, if you took a guess youse could get it right the first time and youse wouldn't have to guess again so youse wouldn't be wasting time." Edith explained
Archie's frown increased, "Edith you're wasting my time and money! Now just tell me the damn news."
Even though she could hear some annoyance in her husband's tone Edith still smiled as she gave him her exciting news, "We're gonna be able to spend Thanksgiving together!"
Archie's annoyed expression quickly changed to a jovial one, "Yeah?!"
"Yeah." Edith said smiling away, "I talked to Gloria and she says she's gonna be out for vacation during that time so me, Gloria, and Joey are all going to New York for Thanksgiving!"
"Oh ho ho! That's great Edith." Archie told his wife a smile quickly appearing on his face.
"Oh I know. I can't wait to be back home!" Edith shared, "To see everyone. Stephy, Barney, Harry, Hank, the O'Brian's oh at Linda down at Ferguson…"
"I think you're leaving out someone."
Archie frowned, "What do you mean who? Me!"
"Ooohhh Arrrchie! I'm sorry! Of course I can't wait to see you! I miss you most of all."
Archie's frown decreased as his wife went on.
"Oh it's gonna be so nice to be back home. To cook in my own kitchen, to sit my own chair, to sleep in our bed…"
"You know Edith, once you get here maybe we could do more then sleeping in our bed." He said hoping she would understand what his point was.
And she did, "Oh Archie." She said bashfully
"What? Your cold side of the bed is starting to spread over to mine." Archie began, "Think we better warm it up a bit."
"Oh Archie, I…" Edith began but then a little boy's voice was heard calling "grandma" and she sighed some before continuing, "I gotta go."
The two had been through enough interruptions like that and were used to it. So they simply said their goodbye and went on with their lives across the country.
"What do you mean the bar's gonna be closed for Thanksgiving?" Barney asked.
Archie had just shared the plans of closing the bar for Thanksgiving, but not yet the reason why, and his friends weren't too happy about it.
"Yeah what about your whole Thanksdrinking?" Hank questioned
"Shots for everything your thankful and not thankful for."
"Yeah well that'll still happen, just not here." Archie simply said from behind the bar and the three other men started to complain.
Then Harry had an idea "Hey Arch what if I stay here and run the bar? This Thanksdrinking was gonna bring in some big bucks."
"Yeah." The two other men agreed but Archie frowned
"Are you kidding? A blond dame walks in and a guy could ask for the bar and you'd give it to him." Archie proclaimed and Harry frowned. "Come on youse guys, I ain't gonna keep the bar open when Edith and the kids are gonna be in town…"
"Edith's coming into town?"
"Well why didn't you say so?"
"Well I…" Archie began.
"And leave it to Edith to invite us over to Thanksgiving dinner when she just got back into town." Barney stated aloud
Archie's frown grew as he heard his friends' assumptions "Wait a minute youse guys…" he tried but it was no use.
"And that's what happened." Archie finished.
It was the next day and Archie was once again on the phone with his wife, this time he was explaining the scene that happened at the bar with the guys.
"Ooohhh Arrrchie." Edith said happily and her husband frowned.
"What are youse 'Ooohhh Archie-ing' me for?"
Edith smiled on the other end, "Youse didn't want to tell them no, cause you'd feel bad and youse wanted them to be there for Thanksgiving dinner."
"Edith I think you're forgetting about the plans we had with just the two of us…" Archie began while frowning
"But Gloria, Stephy, and Joey are gonna be there." Edith pointed out
"Sure but all youse gotta do is tell Gloria to take the kids out for ice cream and they're gone; these guys don't leave till closing time!" Archie complained and Edith frowned as she shook her head.
"I think it'll be nice to have everyone there for Thanksgiving. The more the merrier." Edith stated, "Besides it don't matter who's there, all that matters is we're gonna be able to spend Thanksgiving together."
"And we're gonna spend a couple of days over in New York so you can spend time with Joey and your little girl."
"Yeah." Archie said now in a better mood.
Edith noticed the change and decided now was a good time to tell him the thing she needed to him, "And since Harry, Hank, and Barney are coming over for dinner they can help you when you go shopping for Thanksgiving."
"And since Harry, Hank, and Barney are coming over for dinner they can help you…"
"I heard you this first time!" Archie exclaimed, "What do you mean when I go shopping for Thanksgiving?!"
"Well ever since we got married I've gone shopping for Thanksgiving five days before Thanksgiving except on them Thanksgivings I didn't cook because I didn't need to get nothing, like when Gloria was carrying Joey and was cooking her first Thanksgiving dinner at her own house and…" Edith rambled on
"Edith I was there, get on with point!"
"Gloria's exam dates are close to Thanksgiving and alotta the flights was booked so the only one we could find was, one that would get us there the day before Thanksgiving." She explained
"So just do the shopping over there; just don't get none of that oranic crap they sell over there I don't want no kung fu turkey." Archie said sternly.
"Listen Edith if youse can bring a turkey on the plane when we flew out there for Christmas youse can do it for Thanksgiving!"
"But Archie it's more then the turkey I need to get." Edith started, "It would just be easier and cheaper if youse went."
"Edith I ain't…."
"It'll be easy Archie I'll just give you the list over the phone and all you'll have to do is go buy it." Edith proclaimed and Archie thought for a few minutes.
"You know what, I think I gotta an easier way."
"I'm not going to the store for you." Stephanie Mills told her uncle never looking up from her homework.
She and Archie were sitting at the dinning room, Archie had just come home and Stephanie was doing her homework.
"I've got an essay to do that's due on Tuesday, and Aunt Edith wants you to go on Sunday."
Archie frowned, "How do youse know that?"
"We've got two phones not two lines." Stephanie stated
Archie frowned but then shook it off as he continued to try and convince his niece to go to the store for him, "Alright how about if I help you with your essay here youse go out to the store for me?"
Stephanie thought for a few seconds, "Ok." She finally agreed, "My essay has to answer these questions." She informed him showing him a sheet of paper.
"Now let's see here." Archie said as he put his glasses on and looked at Stephanie's paper, "Explain the first Thanksgiving between the Pilgrims and the Indians…" he read and glared at the paper, "Pilgrims and the Indians? The first Thanksgiving was between the cowboys and Indians, right after their big war, they all decided to get along and have a big meal; after the cowboys won that is…why do you think that there team plays every Thanksgiving?"
Stephanie stared at her uncle, "No it was the Pilgrims see…" she said before showing Archie a paragraph in her book that talked about the first thanksgiving.
"That was just a test and youse passed." He quickly recovered as he went on to the next question, "'Why did the Pilgrims want to break away from the Catholic Church?' To get away from the Pope." He said not giving it a second thought
Stephanie watched Archie for a few seconds to see if he was joking but when she didn't see anything, she gathered her papers.
"Hey where you going?!" Archie practically shouted
"Upstairs." She plainly said as she left the kitchen and Archie followed close behind.
"Wait a minute when are youse gonna go to the store?"
"When I finish my paper." She called from upstairs before closing her door.
Archie frowned, "Listen Rosemarie you better finish up with that paper cause I ain't going to the store, case closed!"
"Ah geeze…" Archie groaned as he and Barney walked into the overcrowded grocery store; most of the shoppers being women
"Looks like Edith's not the only one who does her Thanksgiving shopping five days earlier." Barney stated looking at his surroundings.
"Yeah, she musta told half the women here her story so they thought they'd come too." Archie said before chuckling and the two men began to walk around
"Now let's see first things first." Archie began as he got a yellow piece of paper out of his coat pocket, "'Turkey'." he read "Alright we can do that."
"Sure we can." Barney agreed and then frowned, "Hey Arch how come I came with you?"
"Cause youse volunteered."
"No I didn't."
"Well cause if youse don't help shop, you don't get to come to dinner." Archie tried
"Then how come Harry and Hank aren't here?" he questioned and Archie frowned.
"Shut up and help me find the damn turkey!" Archie exclaimed
The duo walked in silence for a while until they found what they were looking for.
"Hey there it is." Barney said while pointing at a large pack of women who seemed to be arguing as others tired their best to get what they were after, above them a sign read "Turkeys."
"Geeze…" Archie groaned as he watched the scene before him, "Well youse better get a good one."
Barney frowned, "Me?"
Thinking for only a few minutes Archie came up with a excuse "I'm a married man, sticking my hand in that there crowd…I cold touch something I ain't suppose to! Youse don't wanna do that to poor Edith do yas?"
Barney frowned as he replayed his friends words, "I'm only doing it for Edith." He said before placing his arm through the crowd.
"'Suce me, sorry, pardon me…"he said a number of times before finally getting out. "It's no use Arch the turkeys are to far back."
"Ah bologna." Archie began, "Your arms are just too short." He said before taking his turn in searching for a turkey following Barney's idea. Archie, however quickly pulled his arm away looking at the crowd in disbelief.
"Someone in there tried to steal my watch!"
Both men looked back at the crowd.
"Hey you know last minute shoppers are pretty smart too." Barney said aloud making Archie turn around at the look at him
"What are you talking about?!"
"Think about it," he began, "when they come anything that's left, is on sale since they wanna get rid of the stuff, and everyone's already done their shopping early, so no one'll be here."
Archie raised an eyebrow as he took his friends words into consideration.
"I knew I brought youse for a reason."
And with that the two left the store not planning to come back until the last minute.
Archie had just sat down in his chair with the newspaper when the piercing ring of the phone rang in his ears.
"I got it!" Stephanie cried as she ran to the phone in hopes of it being one of her friends and her uncle gave a small sigh of relief as he didn't have to get up from his seat. "Hello?" she asked into the phone.
Archie leaned over so he could hear his nieces' conversation and read his paper at the same time.
"Hi Aunt Edith!" she greeted and Archie gave a small smirk after learning his wife was on the other line.
"I wanna talk to her when you're done." Archie demanded more then suggested but Stephanie just waved her hand at him causing his to frown.
"I'm fine. How are you?" she asked and then there was a pause, "Yeah he's fine. Uh-hu…almost…" then there was a longer pause, "I don't know, I'll ask him." Then the young girl turned her attention to her uncle, "Aunt Edith wants to know if you bought the food for Thanksgiving on Sunday."
Archie's eyes soon became wide "Uh…" he said as he sprang to his feet and rushed over to the phone. "Gimme the phone." He demanded the little girl.
Stephanie simply looked at him, "Yeah, I don't think he got it." She told her aunt.
"Tell her I did and I'll give you five bucks." Archie offered.
Stephanie thought over this, "Can I have a beer?"
"No!" Archie shouted
"I don't remember seeing him come home with any grocery bags…"
"Ten dollars!" her uncle tried again.
"Can I sleep over at Jenn's house next Friday?" Steaphie asked covering the mouthpiece of the phone.
"The Friday Edith's here?" Archie asked abit surprised.
"Yeah." That was the reason she knew she would not get the 'ok'
And Archie wasn't going to give her the 'ok' until he realized it would be one less person that would be in the house when he wanted to spend some alone time with his wife. "Done." he said almost too quickly.
"Ooohhh yeah!" Stephanie said sounding like her aunt into the phone, "I'm pretty sure he got it." Then there was a pause, "Yeah…uh-hu…" then she turned to Archie pulling the phone away from her ear and handing it to her uncle, "She wants to talk to you."
"Ah geeze." Archie groaned as he took the phone "Hiya Edith." He greeted into the phone then there was a pause. "Course I got the groceries just like youse asked me to, on Monday…"
"Sunday!" Stephanie shouted
"Sunday." Archie covered up and once again there was another pause as he listened to Edith, "Nah the kid just uh…she was at school when I came home with the bags, so she didn't see 'em."
Stephanie smacked her hand on her head but it went unseen by her uncle.
"Youse all ready for the trip tomorrow?" he asked trying to change the subject and was successful only as he did this she went on with a very long story. "Yeah…uh hu…I… Edith I gotta go!" he shouted into the phone and then realized what he'd done, "Uh the kid needs help with her homework."
"Yeah I love you too, say hi to the kids for me. Yeah I'll do that. Yeah I'll see youse tomorrow goodbye." And then he placed the phone back on the receiver, letting out a sigh as he walked back to his chair.
Stephanie watched him as he sat down, "Are you ok?"
Archie looked over at her while frowning, "Yeah sure, why?"
"Well you don't have the groceries Aunt Edith told you to get on Sunday and you told her you did and Aunt Edith is coming home tomorrow."
"Ah." Archie groaned, "Listen kiddo, don't youse worry about that. I've got that all under control, this year we're doing last minute shopping, right before Edith's plane gets in at noon. She'll never find out, everything will be fine"
WEDNESDAY 10:00 AM
Stephanie Mills slept peacefully in her room, it was the first day of Thanksgiving vacation and she had no plans of waking up before noon. The quietness of room was soon broken as her uncle came bursting through her door not even bothering to knock.
"Ok Rosemarie get up, come on." He told her as he shook her and she began to stir.
"Why?" she asked groggily as she squinted her eyes from the brightness of the sun coming from the window Archie had opened.
"Here put this on." Archie demanded as he handed his niece two pieces of clothing he absently grabbed from her closet.
Stephanie stared at the clothes in her hands, "This is a bathing suit top and pajama bottoms."
Archie frowned, "Almost looks just like what youse kids are wearing these days." He said as he headed for the door.
"What's going on?" Stephanie asked still confused
"It's 10 in the morning, Edith's plane gets in at noon we gotta be there at 11:30 and we still ain't gone to the groceries." Archie explained hastily as he once again tried for the door.
"I thought you said 'don't youse worry about that. I've got that all under control, this year we're doing last minute shopping right before Edith's plane gets in at noon. She'll never find out, everything will be fine' hmm?" she asked mockingly
Archie frowned, "I never said nothing like that. Now get dressed!" he said as he finally escaped the young girl's room not seeing her eye roll.
FREGUSON'S MARKET 10:45 AM
Stephanie and Archie walked in from the dreadful outside cold and into the dreadful crowds that filled the market. Archie stopped in his tracks as he saw the scene before him as Steaphie grabbed a shopping cart.
"What the hell is this?" he asked not expecting a response, "It looks like it did when I came on Sunday."
"Maybe they overheard your brilliant plan." Stephanie said sarcastically and Archie frowned.
"Never mind that. What's the first thing on the list?"
Stephanie looked down at the yellow paper, "The turkey."
"Alright the turkey." Archie said as he began to walk to the area where the turkeys were, leaving Stephanie to push the basket. "That shouldn't be too hard." He said just before seeing a crowd over by the turkeys that seemed all too familiar to him. "Well youse better get a good one." He told Stephanie while pushing her slightly.
"Me? Why?" she asked, "You're the one that didn't buy it when you were supposed to."
"Me?" it was Archie's turn to ask a question, "I told youse to go!"
"After Aunt Edith told you to go." She shot back and soon the two began to argue; however before they could get too into it, a shouting woman ran in between them.
"I got it! I got the last turkey! It's mine! I got the last turkey!" she screamed.
Stephanie's face was full of shock as Archie's was full of confusion.
"What does she mean by that?" he asked but Stephanie gave no answer so he moved over to the women who were sluggishly moving away from where there used to be a pile of turkeys. "Hey what's going on?" he asked a woman with big blond hair and dark blue eye shadow, she frowned at him.
"Wha are ya death?!" she asked, "That woman got the last turkey."
Now Archie became alarmed, "Last turkey? Until when?"
"Until next thanksgiving."
"Next thanksgiving? I need a turkey for this Thanksgiving." He said
The woman looked at Archie like he was crazy as she moved away. "Ah geeze, what am I gonna do now?" he asked
"Well," Stephanie began "you could go back in time and go to the store and buy the stuff on Sunday."
Archie frowned, "Where do you get that attitude?"
Before Stephie could say anything a familiar voice was heard calling her uncle's name.
Both Archie and Stephanie turned around to see Barney Hefner coming their way.
"Barney what the hell are youse doing here?" he asked
"I was at the bar and…" Barney began but Stephanie interuptment.
"It's eleven in the morning, you were at the bar?"
"Hey that there money he's paying for the beer is going to your college." Archie pointed out.
Stephanie shook her head as her uncle tried to find out the reason for Barney's appearance.
"Wha's the matter?"
"Edith called…" Barney began to explain
"Ah geeze..." Archie said expecting to find out she was already at the airport.
"She and the kids are stuck in Chicago."
Archie's eye reopened as he heard his friends' words, "Ah thank you Lord I owe youse big!" he said skyward causing Barney to look at him with confusion.
"Uh, Arch you did hear me right?"
"Yeah, yeah I heard youse Barn and it's the best news I heard all day." Archie noticed Barney's expression had yet to change so he went on to explain, "Now since Edith ain't coming in till later we've got more time to find a turkey."
"You haven't bought a turkey yet?!" Barney asked surprised
"No, thanks to your brilliant last minute plan, we got here just when some woman got the last turkey!" Archie explained.
"The last turkey?" Barney asked confused, "Until when?"
"Until next Thanksgiving!"
"Geeze Arch," Barney began "I don't wanna be there when you tell Edith about this."
"Oh ho ho, you're gonna be there alright. Youse are gonna be the one to tell her." Archie stated in a not at all suggesting tone.
"Me? Why me?"
"Youse were the one who said to come back for the last minute shopping!" Archie protested.
"Yeah but I didn't wanna come in the first place!" his friend shot back
"Well…" Archie started but was interrupted by a woman trying to get to where Archie and Barney where standing.
"Excuse me." She said and the two moved away and so she moved in between the two men
Barney continued the argument as Archie watched the woman take two small chickens from the freezer and then walk away.
"Hold it a minute Barn." he said, "Look at that."
Barney followed where Archie was motioning and saw the woman walk away "Geeze Arch you're a married man and Edith is coming home today!"
Archie frowned, "Not that you dope, the chickens!"
"What about them?"
Instead of saying anything Archie turned around only to reappear with a rather small but whole chicken in his hands, "What do youse to think, can it pass as a turkey?"
"Yeah," Stephanie began staring at her uncle, "if you washed it in hot water."
"Dummy up youse." Archie instructed, "Come on Barn, this'll work won't it?"
Barney frowned at the frozen bird, "I don't know Arch, the kid's got a point; it is pretty small."
"Alright, alright so we'll get two chickens instead of one turkey. And that's gotta be a better buy." Archie said in a confident tone.
"Hey I know, get three and then when they're gonna get cooked, cook 'em all together so they look like a turkey." Barney added as Archie put in the two chickens.
"Yeah, yeah, good point; get me one will ya?"
Just as Archie put in the third bird Stephanie spoke up, "They're still gonna taste like chicken."
"So? Everything tastes like chicken." Archie told her and Stephanie looked at him with confusion, "What do they say frog legs taste like?"
"How about them snakes that live underwater?" Archie asked referring to eels luckily his niece understood him.
"See so everything tastes like chicken!" Archie argued.
Archie dropped his head, why was this kid so complicated?
"Hey I know what you can do Arch." Barney stated
"What?" Archie asked not sounding at all enthusiastic.
"Just get some of those slices of turkey they use in the sandwiches and have Edith bake the chickens with the slices of turkey over them; that way the chickens will act like a sponge and you know soak up the turkey taste so they'll taste like turkey." Barney suggested
Both Archie and Stephanie looked at him each with their own look of confusion.
"That's gotta be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard!" Archie exclaimed, "Geeze…" he groaned as he ran his hand down his face then he got an idea, "Hey I know we'll get some of those slices of turkey they use in them sandwiches and then have Edith bake the chickens with the slices of turkey over them; so that the chickens will act like a sponge and then soak up the turkey taste so they'll taste like turkey."
It was then Archie's turn to get puzzled looks.
"What? Don't give me them looks, get moving, we've got a whole list of things to get." Instructed Archie before taking off to find the next item on the list, Barney followed figuring his neighbor was going to need his help.
Stephanie watched the two older men walk ahead, leaving her with the basket; she took a deep breath, "This must be what the Pilgrims went through when the Indians were out of town." She said to herself before taking off in the same direction Archie and Barney took off in.
Archie Bunker and his niece entered the Hauser home each of them holding one brown paper bag.
"See I told youse we could do it." Archie told his niece as they made their way to the kitchen.
"Last year Aunt Edith came home with nine bags we only came home with two." Stephie said as she placed her bag on the table.
Archie thought for a few seconds, "Yeah you're right." He agreed as put his hand to his chin to show he was deep in thought, "Come on lets go over the list again, make sure we got everything."
Stephanie sighed as she saw her uncle take out his reading glasses and the famous yellow paper from his coat pocket.
"Alright 'turkey'." He read
"All four things."
Archie frowned before going on, "Things to make pumpkin pie…"
"Replaced with pumpkin pie in a can." Stephanie said taking out the orange can from the bag. "Aunt Edith makes hers from scratch."
"Yeah but look at the list of ingredients she has on here for it," Archie said showing her the list, "I had to have saved twenty bucks with that there can!"
Stephanie rolled her eyes as her uncle read the next time item. "Stuffing." She then pulled out a box of it.
"Aunt Edith makes this from scratch too."
Archie frowned as he looked passed her comment and "Corn."
Stephanie took out a can of Green Giant corn. "Aunt Edith…"
Archie frowned, "What, you gonna tell me Edith's growing the corn in the backyard?!"
"No, but she asked for corn on a cob not corn in a can." Stephanie stated
"So we'll put 'em on a chop stick and no one'll no the difference!" he said defensively, "Now the cranberry sauce."
Stephanie sighed as she reached into the bag and pulled out a can, "The one thing we got that's actually on the list." She said aloud.
"See we did pretty good."
"The only things that would survive a nuclear bomb would be cockroaches and cans of this stuff." She stated, "I'm going upstairs to take a nap." She announced as she left the kitchen with her uncle following her close behind.
"Alright," Archie said figuring she did deserve some rest, "but not too long we gotta go pick up Edith in thirty minutes." He informed from the bottom of the stairs as she climbed the last of them.
"Ok. Ok.' She said wanting desperately to take a nap.
Seconds after Stephanie disappeared to her room the phone rang.
"Yeah hello?" Archie said into the phone without, surprisingly, giving a groan or negative remark before picking up the receiver.
"Hello Archie!" Edith greeted
Archie's eyes became wide as he heard his wife's voice, "Uh hiya Edith I'm already on my way to the airport only a few blocks away."
Edith frowned, "But I called you on the house phone." She said in a more questioning tone.
"Ugh yeah, what I meant was, I was a few blocks away but then I had a feeling that youse was gonna call so I turned around and came right on back home." Archie recovered.
"Oh, well I'm glad youse came back cause we're still in Chicago."
"Yeah I'm on my way…wha? You're still in Chicago?"
Edith nodded, "Yeah. The snow is coming down hard and they ain't letting no one leave on any planes."
"Ah geeze." Archie groaned
Edith sighed before going on, "We may not leave till much later in the evening."
"How the kids taking it?"
"Oh Gloria's doing fine, she's happy to be able to relax, Joey's a little fussy." Edith informed him.
"When do they say the next flight out here's gonna be?" Archie asked and he then heard his wife sigh
"They say later on tonight if we're lucky."
"Holy geeze," Archie growled "One snowflake falls and six hundred flights are cancelled."
Edith shook her head as she got ready to tell Archie what she had been avoiding, "Archie, could you do me a favor?"
"Edith I just did youse a favor today…I mean Sunday." Archie protested.
"But this one won't be nothing like that." Edith tried to convince him, "All you gotta do is take the turkey out of the fridge if we ain't there by ten o'clock, that way it'll be ready to cook in the morning.
Archie raised an eyebrow as he thought about the chickens he'd bought, they probably wouldn't need the whole night to defrost heck they probably only needed an hour or two. "That all?" he asked not believing it could be that simple.
"Yeah." His wife said cheerfully, "Unless we don't get a flight till tomorrow."
Archie dropped his head as Edith went on with her point.
"Then you might have to get started on cooking dinner."
"Well ever since I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal I've always started at ten in the morning…" Edith explained
"So, you'll do it when youse come in."
"But what if I don't get in till after ten?" Edith questioned
"Aw come on Edith, youse can do it, I know it and you know it and … hey remember that Christmas youse broke your ankle youse still got dinner on the table remember?"
Edith thought back to that Christmas, "Oh Archie I don't know. I mean if I start late, we wouldn't have Thanksgiving dinner until later on."
"Alright so we'll call it Thanksgiving dessert." Archie stated.
"If we did that," Edith began, "we wouldn't have that much time together." She reminded her husband
"What'll I have to do?"
Edith smiled before she gave instructions "It'll be easy; all you gotta do is go to the cabinet next to the shelf where we keep the plates, open it and get the recipe box on the second shelf, but the one on the left cause the one on the right are the ones for Christmas dinner, and in that recipe box the one on the left not the Christmas ones, you'll find all the recipes you'll need from the turkey to the pumpkin pie!" she said happily
Archie sighed, "Geeze youse can give me directions to a box of recipes but you can't give me directions to our daughters condo." He said mostly to himself but he knew his wife had heard when she released a laugh.
"Oh thank you for doing this Archie, it won't be that hard."
Archie frowned, "I don't know Edith I mean…" he looked over to the swinging door that lead to the kitchen, "I ain't gonna be able to make a turkey with any of them recipes you've got in that box there."
"Oh sure you will, all you gotta do is follow the recipe step by step!" Edith exclaimed, "And you might not even have to do it at all." She reminded him.
"But Edith I…" Archie began.
"Oh Archie I gotta go I don't wanna use all my change up, and then not be able to call youse when we get a flight." Edith said already getting ready to hang up.
"Edith don't youse hang up unless youse know you're coming home tonight!"
"I'll talk to you later Archie, I love you, goodbye."
And then she was gone leaving Archie to call out her name loudly, while knowing there was no way she could hear him.
Meanwhile at the airport Edith walked back to the seating area where Gloria, who was skimming through the new Cosmopolitan, and Joey, who ran his toy cars up and down on the arms of the chairs, sat neither one looking too happy.
"How'd Daddy take it?" Gloria asked looking up from her magazine as she saw her mother sit down in a seat.
"Well…" Edith said and then began to struggle to find the right words.
"That bad huh?" she asked and all Edith could do was nod.
Back at 704 Hauser, Archie had given up on calling Edith's name and almost slammed the phone down back on the receiver.
"Hey kid did youse hear that?!" Archie called upstairs knowing very well what the answer would be.
"We have two phones and two lines!" Stephanie yelled back, changing the words she said a few days ago, obviously lying.
Archie's frown increased as he climbed the stairs getting ready to have a talk with his niece.
Minutes later at the airport in Chicago Edith Bunker and her daughter continued to wait for their flight with each of them reading a different magazine, while Joey sat between them looking as bored as any child would be in his situation.
He looked over at his grandmother and then at his mother and then back and forth trying to decide who to bother first; finally he decided, "Mommy, I'm hungry."
Gloria removed the magazine from her face and onto her lap, "Joey, you just got a snack a few minutes ago."
"But I'm still hungry." He whined and his mother sighed.
"Alright lets go." She said as she got ready to take her son back to the vending machines.
"Oh Gloria I'll take him." Edith said knowing how tired her daughter must feel.
"Are you sure ma?"
"Oh yeah. Come on Joey." Edith began, "We'll be right back." She went on as she grabbed her grandsons' hand and they headed over to machines.
It didn't take long for the two to reach the vending machines; as Joey even though he was holding his grandma's hand was in the lead the way to the machines he'd already made five trips to.
"I want that one!" Joey jovially said pointing his finger against the glass and in the direction of a bag of potato chips.
"Alright," Edith said as she opened her purse getting ready to search for the change, but a small hand touched her arm stopping her from looking.
"Don't worry Grandma, I got this one."
Edith smiled as she watched the young blond boy show off his smooth, flat dollar bill and then turn to get his snack. She continued to watch him carefully punch in the numbers and as she did she couldn't help but hear the conversation of the couple who was standing at the nearby desk.
"Come on you've gotta have something available!" a masculine voice told the person behind the desk. "Anything to get me away from Honkyville!"
Edith frowned as she began to rack her brain; she knew she'd heard those voices before.
George Jefferson turned to look at his wife, and began to protest "What? He's one of us he knows what I'm talking about!"
Then it hit her, but still she couldn't believe it was true so slowly turned around.
"Louise!" Edith exclaimed as she saw her friend.
Immediately Louise turned around, "Edith!"
The two women then embraced in a embrace that only two old friends could. Hugging, jumping and squealing. Meanwhile the two men who were each with one of the two friends who were making a scene, simply watched; both frowning.
Joey shrugged it off as he went on to eating his chips while George swiftly turned back to the counter.
"I'll take a trip to Mexico, if that's all you've got left." he practically begged.