Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Notes: Takes place right after New Moon. Instead of holding out, Edward gives in to his sexual feelings for Bella. Pure fluff, of course. I just need to write some good smuttttttt. Mkay!? Jeez.
I could not bear it anymore. Honestly, the scent of her was overpowering me beyond my control. I had thought that I would be able to manage these feelings, but it was impossible. The way her dark hair curled around her collar bones and neck, framing her beautiful face. The way her blue veins ran under the translucent membrane of her pale, porcelain skin. I wanted to do some many things.
The first would be the unimaginalbe. Tear through that membrane, drink the blood that flowed and boiled beneath it.
The second, though not plausible, was slightly more imaginable. Pressing her up against the door of her bedroom, ripping the thin material off of her body. To see the planes of her pale belly, the swell of her breasts. The sway of her hips, the underwear she might possibly be wearing. Or not wearing.
And then the lights clicked on, and Mr Banner clapped his hands as though he were trying to wake the students that might have slipped asleep. Scientific movies were never very interesting, but most of the students were able to keep themselves awake with thoughts that assualted my unguarded mind. I was able to push them out thanks to the thoughts of Bella Swan, the beautiful human girl that was as much simple and readable as she was an enigma.
She blinked against the flourescent lights, suddenly so bright, before sitting her. She rolled her shoulders, arching her back so that her chest stuck up. I gazed out of the corner of my eye, longing to know what what beneath the layers of fabric she always wore. Long john shirts, flannel button downs over that... So many layers to keep her little body warm. She was not made to exist in such cool climates.
"That sure was interesting," Bella said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
She didn't know the half of it. While I spent the class trying to delve into her mind, unsuccessfully as always, I took in her body. How I wanted to explore those regions.
I had these crazy thoughts ever since a rather candid discussion with Jasper and Emmett. It was hard to explain, how I had never thought about these things before. I lived in a house where three couples shared very active sex lives. I was getting tired of hearing the things they spoke about, thought about - noises they made while they were being intimate. I was getting curious about Bella.
And, of course, Alice had seen my awkward fumblings, or the ones I had thought about in my most vulnerable moments. In the dark, in Bella's bedroom, while her sleep shirt rode up as she tossed and turned... The tangle of her thin, exquisite limbs in the soft, worn sheets of her bed. Her dark hair, a tangle over the pillows, her breasts rising and falling with each sleepy breath.
Alice being the know it all that she is, had sent my brothers to me to discuss this situation. As much as I loved my favorite sister, I almost wished for Rosalie's ego-centric thoughts. She couldn't see my future, she didn't care. All she wanted was Emmett, working on her cars, and the fun of chasing some big animal around.
Alice enjoyed much more complicated things. Like messing with my life.
"Edward," Emmett had said, sitting me down between himselfe and Jasper on the leather sofa in my bedroom. It was an ironic statement, of course, as I didn't have a bed in my room. "There are a few things we heard you were wondering about... When it comes to girls."
"The birds and the bees," Jasper agreed, bobbing his blonde head.
They didn't need to say these things out loud. I could hear them, loud and clear and smug, in their thoughts.
Girls like romance.
Alice likes when I kiss her behind her ear.
Rosalie likes it when I slap her ass.
Girls like to feel like you're beautiful.
They expect you to pleasure them.
DO NOT stick your finger in her belly button. Some girls get very weirded out about that.
And as much as I had enjoyed their attempt to help, it was slightly nightmarish. The last thing I wanted to hear about was what my sisters enjoyed in the bedroom. I didn't care about what they wanted and I wanted to learn what Bella wanted... All on my own.
"Just take your time," Emmett advised. "Girls take longer than guys do to get... warmed up, so to speak. And you don't want to make it hard for her. You want to make it good. So if its good, she'll want to keep at it." He winked, which would have been imperceptible to a human, but with preternatural senses that we have... I caught it.
"Thanks," I had said, feeling quite the opposite of that.
And now, I was wondering on how I could make my move. I knew better than anyone else that she was ... anxious. To try things with me.
It had been a long time since I felt so human. It was like breathing Bella's scent for the first time every morning, or after a long period of time without her. Once I wasn't in her presence, it came on so strong that I felt like the wind was being knocked out of my lungs. To know that she loved me made my heart swell with pride. To know that she wanted to be with me, a man to a woman, made other parts of me swell with pride.
However, as sure as I was with how the mechanics went... and as eager as I was to bring my Bella pleasure... I was not entirely confident that I could not kill her in the process. It took so much to kiss her, without losing control... And even then, those kisses were chaste and unsatisfying. I wanted to show her my passion. But it was so hard... So tempting to let it get too far, to lose that control I cling to so deftly.
My days were long with thoughts of Bella, her beauty, her wit, her gentle love that seemed to envelope me with tender and trusting love. My nights were spent agonizing over her sleeping form, worrying wordlessly.
"Hey," Bella grinned, waving her hand in front of my face. "You in there?"
I smiled, grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer to me. Mr Banner was rambling about film analysis, but I was wrapped up in Bellaland. It seemed the only place I could function.
"You have something on your mind," she said quietly. She reached up to brush hair off of my face, and I sucked in a breath at the sensation. I could feel places in my body responding appropriately - humanly.
I smiled, took her hand and held it in my own. I didn't know how much longer I could make myself wait for her.
I slipped under the covers in my bed, waiting anxiously for Edward. He had left to grab something from his house - not typical of our routine - and I didn't want to fall asleep while I was waiting for him. I raked a hand through my dark hair, worrying about him. Not that I was worried about him running across town, as he would be back to my bedroom in just a few minutes. But there was something in his eyes lately that I didn't understand. I was worried, of course, that he was going to leave me again.
I curled up in a ball on my side, facing away from the window. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table, sighing.
What could be going on in that complex mind of his? I wondered, constantly. I was beginning to wonder now, just to keep myself awake, when suddenly I felt icy hands wrap around my body, tugging me onto my back.
"Quick," I mumbled, turning to him.
He flashed my favorite crooked smile, and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. "I just had to check something," he said cryptically.
"Of course," I replied, smiling. Immediately, I felt relaxed in his arms. I snuggled closer, burrowing my face into his chest.
He reached between us, tracing my chin with his cold, elegant fingers. He pressed, tipping my face upward, and kissed me. This was a surprise. I smiled against his mouth, moving cauticously to cup his cheek with my hand. He held my face still with his one hand, the other coming up to rest on my back, between my shoulder blades.
I felt something pressing against my lips, and gasped in surprise. His tongue took that oppurtunity to enter my mouth, hesitating briefly before delving in. He groaned quietly, prodding my tongue gently with his own.
I could feel my heart beginning to race. I could feel my skin begin to tingle everywhere, like a fire racing over my body and making my joints turn to mush. I mewled, maybe too loud, but I couldn't help the excitement that washed over me.
His hand slid down my back, coming to rest above the hem of my panties. He tentatively pushed the fabric of my shirt up, and his hand was icy against my flesh. I knew that it had to feel like fire to him.
"This is nice," I said, when he released my lips long enough to breathe. "What brought the change?"
Edward refused to answer, simply catching my lips again and pull me closer to him. Close enough so that my chest was flush against his, which was bare now. I hadn't expected that - when had he taken off his shirt? But I couldn't think about that, as he was rolling us over so that he was poised on top of me. His hand went to my collar bone, the other one sliding up under my shirt. He stroked my side tenderly, his fingers touching as much of me as he could. I moaned, trying my best to be quiet.
His lips traveled away from my mouth, down to my neck. He carefully kissed my pulse point, before sucking on my skin. My breath caught, and I tangled my fingers in his strange bronze hair. What was he doing to me?
He pulled away, gazing into my eyes. His were liquid amber, so he wouldn't be thirsty. I wondered if he had gluttoned himself for this moment, so that he would not have to worry about trying to fight the urge to kill me.
"May I?" he asked, tugging on the edge of my T-shirt. I bit my lip, which he watched with fascinated eyes, as I nodded. I could feel blush running over my body, turning me red and hot. Slowly, he pulled my shirt up over my head, revealing my flesh to his eyes. I held my breath anxiously.
I watched his face, a mask of calm, as he took me in. I didn't know what to do, so I kept my hands at my sides. I wondered what he saw, when he looked at me... I was pale, not as pale as him. My breasts were not gigantic, but they were more than what a lot of girls had... My small nipples, tight peaks pointing up needily. My stomach was concave, but not taut like Edward's muscles. Just in my panties, lemony-yellow hot shorts, with Edward's intense gaze sizing me up.
"Beautiful," he said finally, bending forward to kiss the skin between my breasts.
I arched up, my mouth dropping open soundlessly. He moved slowly, like he was testing himself, and brought his hand up to my right breast. He was smothering himself in my skin, but seeing as how he did not need to breathe, I was not worried that he was going to die. He palmed my flesh, my nipple rubbing wonderfully against his palm. He kneaded the mound, making me pant as he kissed his way to my other breast. He paused above one tight pink peak, gazing up at me.
"Tell me if I do something wrong," he said, before bending his head forward. His tongue darted out, lapping at my nipple. I gasped, and Edward glanced up at me, startled.
"Don't stop!" I whispered loudly, threading my fingers into his hair and pulling him down. He chuckled, swirling his tongue around the peak and sucking gently. It was nothing I've ever felt before. It felt like I was tingling every where, but it seemed to all be leading south, between my legs. Of course, I had felt that before. But not as... extreme as it was now.
"Is this all right?" Edward asked, and I nodded enthusiastically.
"Wonderful," I whispered, scratching his fingers on his scalp encouragingly. He grinned, switching breasts, as one hand slid down my belly. I sucked in a breath, my heart hammering in my chest. I remembered briefly that there had been a point in time when just kissing Edward had been enough to make me faint. How I was fainting now was a complete mystery to me. All I wanted was... I didn't even know. I'm sure there were some instincts I had to be missing - shouldn't I know what happens next? I've never really had great instincts. Human instincts should tell me to run wild from my vampire boyfriend... Though as his hand slid into my panties, I had a feeling I knew exactly what I wanted.
She was like a buffet that that I couldn't eat. It was like licking the bowl, without eating the brownies. I wanted to sink my teeth into her, but I couldn't. I licked her nipple, suckling on it tenderly, and I never imagined this sort of feeling. I could feel tension building inside of me. It was impossible.
I reached down, seeing nothing but red lust, and slipping my hand under the elastic of her panties. Weren't girls supposed to have hair there? I didn't bother to question it, instead slipping a finger between her wet folds. I knew that this was a good thing. Scientifically, she was ready for sex - lubricating herself to make the process easier, more pleasurable. It meant, in simple, modern terms, that she was horny.
My head was swimming, exhilerated by the thought. I was doing this right, I realized. Pride, lust, hunger swelled inside of me. I moaned, a deep rumble inside of my chest. I didn't have enough room to fully explore, I realized with a smidge of irritation. I ripped the panties off of her hips, making her jump with surprise.
"Edward!" she hissed, glaring down at me. "Those were my favorite!"
"I'll replace them," I managed to croak. I could smell her juices, and I wanted to eat her. I slipped down her body, spreading her thighs apart gently. She propped herself up on her hands, staring down the lenght of her own body at me. She worried her lip, her dark hair a dissarray on top of her head. Her cheeks were pink, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she panted. It made me want to - well, I'm not sure what - but do something masculine in pride.
"What are you doing?" she asked, as I settled myself between her legs.
"Just wait," I replied, my lips crooking into a grin. I inhaled, and my throat burned with thirst. My cock was aching inside of my jeans, but my brother's words echoed in my mind. Her pleasure comes first, I reminded myself. I used one hand to spread her pussy open. She was small, pink, glistening with her wetness. I slipped a finger over her, tracing lightly over her clitoris, down further to her small opening. I wasn't sure that this was going to work. I was much, much larger than her small channel.
I leaned forward, darting my tongue to lick over her clit. Immediately, Bella flinched. She eased back until she was laying down, and I would have grinned if I wasn't taken over by the extreme amount of lust that boiled in my belly.
"Holy crow," Bella croaked, as I licked and sucked her. She moaned, louder than she had before, and I could feel my eyes attempting to roll back in my head. I swirled my tongues in figure eights, I spelled the alphabet, I sucked and slurped and kissed her little nub, watching her body tremble at the same time. The female orgasm is exquisite, I had heard a million times. I was very excited to not only be witnessing one, but giving one... Especially to this beautiful little creature.
"Edward," she gasped, her fingers clutching at my hair as she shook. "Edward - I -" Her hips were bucking up into my face, and I slowly inserted one finger. She was tight, I thought with a groan of ecstacy. I worked my finger in, sliding it in and out as she gasped and panted and trembled. "Please," she whimpered.
"Please what?" I asked, genuinely wanting to know.
"I don't know," she gasped, throwing her head back. I sighed, grinning into her flesh as I felt her hips raise off the bed. I grabbed her ass, holding her steady as I continued to torture her flesh with my mouth.
Finally, afer a few more seconds, Bella exploded around my face and finger, whimpering and pating. I loved the sound of her quiet moans. I loved the feel of her pussy muscles clamping down around my finger. She sighed, after a few moments of cries and shivers.
"Good?" I asked, grinning up at her.
She licked her lips, nodding. Her body trembled, and she let out a sigh.
I crawled back up her body, kissing her forehead tenderly. It was getting late, I realized. Where I could have gone on the rest of the night, I knew that Bella needed sleep. Being human had those problems - the need for sleep, water, food. I could have gone on... until my thirst was too much.
"I love you," she breathed, sounding sleepy.
"You're my existance," I said. I could exist here, in her bedroom, with a more than happy life if only to just pleasure her. I was tempted to do it all over again...
"I owe you," she said quietly, before turning on her side. I pulled the blankets up around us, snuggling down with her. "But you owe me panties."
"Will I get to pick them out?" I asked, grinning at the thought. My dick jerked in my slacks, reminding me of my need for release. It would have to wait.
"Edward," she grumbled, blushing. I laid my cheek upon hers, to feel the heat, and held in my thoughts as she drifted off to sleep.
AN: Everyone who reads this needs to watch Skins. BBC, 10 PM Eastern, Sundays. Best show ever.