Ok, so somehow I think I have a thing for that airport scene in New Moon. lol Awhile back, as part of my table I'm working on, I did that Carlisle POV of them waiting at the airport, and I said I would eventually do their reunion at the airport. And I will. But…this isn't that. This is what I wanted to write from way before I did the other one, but I'm just getting around to doing it now. This is a Jasper POV of that reunion, after he came so close to losing Alice…
As long as I had lived, as many emotions as I had felt, I never knew it was possible to feel this much fear. I could dull it, use my gift to contain it only to myself but there my strength ended. For me, there was no helping it. She was in Volterra and I was here, doing nothing.
She could die, and I wouldn't know, not for hours. I had the foolish, irrational thought that I would know, that somehow her absence in the world would be a force I could feel. Impossible, but it somehow felt true. I would not be what I was, without Alice. It made sense, then, that nothing should be able to feel the same.
We had been in the airport long enough, now, that we needed to keep up our human charade. I had stretched out on the floor, feigning sleep. My hand was curled around my phone, inside the front pocket of the hoodie I wore. I gripped it tightly, anxious for the least movement. Her last call had been hours before, on the plane. I had been able to hear it so well, the worry in her voice when she spoke of Edward, the fear when she asked me not to come.
If his life hadn't been in danger, nothing she would have said could have stopped me. As it was, I knew she was right. He wouldn't hesitate if he saw me, thinking I was there only to restrain him. I wanted to shake him, to tell him how stupid he was being, how irrational. Tell him that only an idiot accepts news like that in the circuitous way he had. I wanted to punch him for being so stupid, for scaring the hell out of us all. Most of all, I just wanted to be able to feel him nearby, to show him that underneath all my anger, I loved him too damn much to let this happen.
Which was why my mate was in Italy and I was here. And if anything happened to her, I would never forgive either him or me. Or Rose, for that matter. At the moment, though, blame didn't really matter. This was hell no matter whose fault it was, and though I didn't want to think I could hardly keep from imaging all the ways in which it could be worse. The ways in which it might already be worse, I just didn't know it yet.
I heard the sound of Emmett's footsteps, heard him slide down to sit against the wall behind me. "Hey, man."
His voice was too low for the humans, and I moved my head just enough that I might still be asleep to an onlooker, but I knew he would catch it. He said nothing else, and I wanted to be able to thank him, to let him feel my gratitude, to let him know that I appreciated his presence. I didn't have the strength for it, though, and I hoped he understood anyway.
Suddenly, my phone jerked to life in my hand. Faster than the blink of an eye I was sitting up, a hundred thoughts going through my head in the time it took me to pull my phone from my pocket. It might not be here. It could be someone else, or a damned wrong number, or…
"It's ok, Jazz, I'm ok." The relief that flooded me then was enough to make me weak, and I leaned back against the wall, drowned in the sound of her voice. I had loved it from the moment I met her, but she had never sounded so utterly beautiful as she did now.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I could have called you sooner, but I didn't want to call until I was on the plane, until I was sure everything was safe." She was talking fast now, her words almost blurring together even to my ears. "We have him; it worked. You can tell everyone we're all fine, and we should be getting in at 9:05."
"Alright." I didn't have to tell them anything, not really. They could almost certainly hear already, at the very least I knew they could feel it, now. The relief, the joy was not something I could contain, and I didn't even try. I had come so close to losing her…even thinking it, I could feel my chest seize up again.
"Jasper, stop that."
"I can see you, you know. And you shouldn't still be in pain, I told you, everything's alright."
Yes, she had. All the same, it had been far, far too close. I couldn't help it. "And you weren't-"
"No, I wasn't hurt. Not a scratch, I promise."
I took a deep breath, my nerves slowly calming. She was fine. She hadn't even been hurt. She was on her way back to me…. Another deep breath, then I was able to put a real smile on my face, the kind she loved. "Try it now." I settled the decision in my mind, planned to keep that smile for at least a few more minutes.
"Much better." She was relieved, happy, and I smiled wider.
"I love you."
I closed my eyes, swallowed hard. I wanted more than anything for her to be here right now. If she was, I wouldn't have to speak, would be able to let her feel my love for her much more effectively. "I love you, Alice. More than anything."
"I know." She paused, and I knew she was looking, searching. I heard her sigh happily, and I knew her well enough to even be able to predict the look on her face as she had. "That feels wonderful, Jazz, but I think the whole airport is going to be in love with me if you do that."
"I don't care. I can fight them off." Even knowing that she was on her way home, the actually concrete mention of it brought on another wave of relief. "9:05?"
"Yes." Another pause, then another happy sigh. "I can't wait."
I laughed softly, shaking my head. "And what can't you wait for?"
"Don't you already know?"
Yes, I probably did. I would be able to control myself as long as we were in public. Here, and in the car, but once we were home… "Yes, I think I do." It was a weird sensation to have my heart both warm and constrict simultaneously. The fear was still there, even if it was lessened. "I've never been so scared, Alice. I thought…" Something that I couldn't even voice. It hurt too much.
"Me too, for awhile."
My breath stopped, body freezing. "Tell me."
"Shhh, it's ok! Don't panic."
Her laugh was soft, gentle and musical but somehow still a little strained. "When I get home, ok? I'll tell all of you everything." Yes, that would probably be better. Anything she might be going to tell me would be easier if I had here where I could hold her in my arms, be certain in a very concrete way that she was absolutely safe.
"You should go talk to the rest of them, I know they've been half scared to death, too."
Yes, she was right of course. All the same, I was so very reluctant to get off the phone with her, to lose this small contact. "Yes."
"I'm alright, Jasper. Just a few more hours."
I pictured it, having her back, all the way back in our room. I already knew what I wanted, what I needed but I made the decision a little more defined, in my mind pulling her against me tightly, my arm wrapping around her waist to life her off the floor and hold her fully as we kissed.
She gasped softly, and her next breath was just a little shaky. "Jasper…"
Well, that had been effective. "Alright. I'll go talk to them now. I'll see you soon."
I wasn't very fond of good-byes in any form, especially not with her and I hung up then, still smiling. When I looked up, all their eyes were on me. "As I'm sure you heard, everything's fine. It's not long now."
Esme gave a soft sob of relief, nearly collapsing into Carlisle. He held her tightly, gave me a very meaningful look over her shoulder. Oh. Of course. It was much easier, now, to focus enough to calm her.
I laid back on the floor again, looked at my watch. 10:25 PM. The morning couldn't come soon enough.
Of course, I could feel her before she was close. Of anyone's emotions in all the world, I was the most attuned to hers. I was more impatient than I could remember being in years, literally. I could hardly bear to wait at the gate, would have much preferred going on ahead to find her. At least I didn't have long to wait.
I was pretty sure Bella and Edward came through the gate first but I didn't see them, saw nothing except her, the way she moved far too closely across the floor until she was finally close enough to touch. Still, at first I didn't. There were more important things, things she had to know that I could never have put into words or even into a touch. I let my love for her overwhelm everything, didn't even try to filter the lingering worry and pain out of it. She needed to feel that, too. I wanted her to know everything, to know how it had felt to wait her for her, terrified. I stared into her eyes as I showed her, let myself be a little soothed by them. She was here, she was right here. Everything was fine.
"Jasper." Her voice was soft when it broke the silence, a single fluid step bringing her forward to take my hand in her own. I could feel a jolt of heat from the point her palm pressed against mine, could feel her love for me through it, as strong as my own had been. There was more…she had been worried about me, too. Ridiculous of her. I had been safe.
Swiftly I pulled her against me, buried my face in her short, spiky hair and breathed her in, my eyes closing. I could never have lived without this. Not ever. I stirred only when I could feel Esme and Carlisle's impatience rising. Of course, they wanted to hold her too. I sighed, kissed her hair before I let her go, keeping her hand in mine. I couldn't bear to let her go completely.
Carlisle kissed her forehead and Esme wrapped her arm around her waist, kept her close even as we started toward the car. My head was spinning, adjusting slowly to the fact that there was truly nothing left to fear. All the same, she hadn't told me exactly…
I let her slide into the car first but as soon as I got in I pulled her back against me, almost into my lap entirely. I didn't want any distance between us, however slight. For the past hours, there had been far too much distance. I rested my head on her shoulder, my lips against her ear. "You promised. Tell me."
"We cut it very close…if anything at all had gone wrong, had delayed us for even a minute we wouldn't have made it. Bella stopped him just before he stepped out into the sun, but of course they were already waiting to interfere."
"Who?" Carlisle. He was driving, but still listening intently.
"Felix and Dimitri, at first. Edward was, of course, Edward and he was protecting her when I got there, trying to talk them out of making us go down to talk to Aro. That was when I got there and I evened the odds until Jane showed up."
I hissed, unable to control the response. She moved slightly, just enough to press closer against my chest.
Her fingers trailed across my arm, calming. "I told you I wasn't hurt. You should believe me."
I did, really. But the thought of her being there with Jane, of Jane having the opportunity to hurt her…it was almost unbearable.
I could see her looking, checking. "I can tell you all the details later when everyone's together, Bella will be sleeping for quite awhile. But basically, they demanded that one of us give our word that Bella would be turned, and Edward was having problems bringing himself to do it, so I showed Aro what I know, told him that I would do it myself."
My breath stopped. She had… As much respect as I had for the Volturi, I knew enough to know that they would have great need of a gift like hers…and that Aro was probably somewhere between less dangerous than Edward thought and less trustworthy than I thought. Just in case I was wrong about their intentions, I would rather have kept some space between them.
"We need to talk about this, Alice. As a family. I know Edward doesn't want-"
"Edward is fighting the inevitable, Carlisle, and you know it."
He said nothing. She was right, of course she was. And we all knew it. Edward was just being damn ridiculous, but then he was good at that. Hell, at this point I would have been willing to change her myself if I was capable. We were in the driveway by then and I nearly bolted out of the car, held the door open for her. I took her hand, pulled her toward the stairs.
"Carlisle, Edward's going to get Bella in bed, then he'll come back to change and give Charlie a chance to check on Bella but he'll only stay five minutes…Esme, please, don't ask him to stay longer, it's going to kill him to be away from her for even that long."
I didn't wait to see if they responded. I let go of her, knowing she would follow without any encouragement, held our door open for her and shut it behind her. I could hear her breath quicken, already unsteady before I even turned to face her. That was one thing about Alice…she almost always knew what I was going to do, had time to anticipate it. Even after so many years with her, I wasn't sure if that made it better for her, or if surprise would have been. At the moment, it didn't matter. I turned and pulled her into my arms, kissing her as I had shown her I would, my right arm wrapping tightly around her waist to pull her up to my level, her legs wrapping around me.
My lips moved down to her neck, a low growl rising in my chest. She smelled like Volterra, the scent of ancient stone hallways and human blood and a hundred different vampires. I wanted to mark her again, to have my own scent be the only added component to hers. Her hands slid down to pull my sweatshirt up and walked us to our bed, lay her down before pulling it off and tossing it aside.
She sat up quickly, traced her tiny hands across my ribs over the thin t-shirt I still wore, left a kiss over my heart. I shivered, let her feel the wash of love I felt for her then, the entirety of how much she meant to me. She was absolutely everything. She sighed, almost purring as she reached up to curl her hand around my neck, pulling me down to kiss her.
I was lost in her, the taste, the feel, and I only dimly registered it when she ripped my shirt away, noticed only at the shock of her hands against my bare skin. I pulled back just enough to raise my eyebrows at her, questioning.
"I know where we got it, I can get you another one. Besides, you've worn it four times now."
Yes, and that made it positively ancient. Not that I cared. She could be a compulsive shopper for all eternity if she wanted, so long as she stayed right here. I darted forward, pulling her up with me to rest more in the center of the bed, leaning over her on my arms. Her sharp intake of breath told me I had taken her by surprise, and I smiled against her skin, let her feel how nice it felt to me to do something that she didn't see coming, now and then.
Even as desperate as I was for her I couldn't help but move slowly, marveling. I had almost lost her. Anything could have gone wrong, and I would have never seen her again. To never see the look in her eyes she had now, never feel her hands on me, hear the noises she made when I did something just right…
It was unfathomable. I had long since ceased to understand how I had ever lived without Alice. Looking back, knowing what I knew now, I could see what my life had been before, how dark. She was the only light capable of illuminating that darkness I carried, and now that I knew that I could have a life like this, I would not be able to bear returning to the dark. It would kill me, more certainly than anything else ever could.
All clothing discarded now I pressed my lips just below her ear, whispered her name. She clung to me, held me as tight and as desperately close as I would have asked her to. She always knew. I couldn't stop touching her, my breath ragged. I could feel the ache of the fear dissolving, fading, banished by the warmth of not being able to tell where I ended and she began, the dizzying high of the way she moaned my name.
After, I still couldn't stop kissing her, couldn't bear to move an inch from her arms. Though the relief had been strong from the moment I heard her voice, the knowledge of what had almost been brought its own brand of shock, of delayed realization. I had not fallen apart waiting for her, but I could not stop shaking now. I let my head fall against her shoulder, my own shoulders trembling.
Her touch was warm, soft, her hands smoothing from my neck to my spine, my shoulders, back to run her fingers through my hair. I could feel her understanding, her love, hear it in her soft, calming murmurs. There was nothing I could have ever done to deserve this woman's love. Absolutely nothing.
When I was calmer, more sure of my voice I raised my head to meet her eyes, locked her gaze with mine. "You will never do that to me again." The words were harder, harsher than I intended but I didn't need to take it back. she knew me well enough to understand.
She brushed my hair back from my eyes, kissed my forehead. "I had to. You know I did. There wasn't time." She hesitated, thinking something over. "But I lied to you on the plane. I know I…there would have been no way out. But I didn't want you there, because no matter what happened to me, I wanted to know that you were alright."
Yes, I think I had known that, deep down. I hadn't wanted to examine her words too carefully at the time, to be perfectly honest. "Alice…" I shook my head, tried to block out the horror of that thought. Life, without her… "Can't you see? Can't you see what that would have been, for me?"
She tensed, and I could feel her fear. "No. It didn't happen, so I can't…"
"I could tell you, and I don't think you want to know the details. I wouldn't go to Italy, but I would have no life without you, Alice. It isn't possible for me. Not anymore." Her grip on my tightened, her fear rising. I calmed her quickly, kissed her until I could feel her relax. "If…if anything like this ever happens again…any emergency…"
"Yes. I promise."
I sighed, kissed her once more. "Good."
She smiled, slightly, and when she spoke I could feel her amusement, her growing happiness. "We had to leave in a hurry, you know. If you want to go with me next time something crazy happens, you'll have to be there."
I felt a twinge of guilt, first. I had known all along that I should have gone with her to Forks in the first place, had only stayed behind for Carlisle and Esme's sake. They had been so emotionally fragile, so beat up over Edward's absence that I hadn't wanted to leave them, had been certain Alice would be back in a couple of days…. I smiled for her, rested my forehead against hers. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to stay close to you."
"My point exactly."
I've been wanting to write this for a really long time, and I think it turned out rather well. : ) Poor Jasper…. I want to comfort him. LOL