Disclaimer: Not mine. Never was. Never will be.
Warning: Contains slash. Meaning gay sex.
Summary: Sometimes all anyone needs is to know someone cares, to have someone to comfort them. Jasper Hale finds that comfort in the form of Edward Cullen, his colleague. AU
AN: So this is just the rewritten version, I tweaked a few things, fixed a few spelling mistakes. I got a lot of requests for slash, so here it is. Also a lot of slash on here tends to be dirty/rough sex, and I wanted something different. A little gentler.
Jasper Hale was crying.
Hard as he tried he couldn't contain it, the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and flowed down his cheeks, wetting patches of the uncomfortable pillow. Edward was sleeping in the narrow hotel bed opposite from him. He'd most certainly be able to hear. He'd think that Jasper was weak and pathetic to be crying.
They were private investigators, specialising in child abductions. They had to have a tough skin. They couldn't break down like this.
But Jasper couldn't help it, the nightmares wouldn't go away. It was all he saw when he closed his eyes at night. The images swam to the front of his brain and he sobbed harder, attempting to muffle the sound with his pillow.
"Jasper?" whispered Edward through the darkness, "Jazz, are you ok?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" choked out Jasper, trying to appear calm, as if the unfamiliar bed and the hard case they'd had that day was keeping him up.
Edward flicked on his bed side lamp and propped himself up on his elbows to look at Jasper, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to worry you. You have enough going on with . . with Bella and . . " Jasper stopped talking, wondering had he crossed a line.
He knew that Edward was having a hard time. Bella was filing for divorce on the grounds that he was never home with her and Ness, he was always working. There was always another case, another criminal. There were no days off.
"It's ok" said Edward, sensing Jasper's uncertainty, "maybe we both have things we need to talk about"
They were both silent for some time, then, "Do you still love her?"
"I don't know"
"But you love your daughter?"
"You're lucky to have Rennesme, to have someone who knows you love them, and loves you back unconditionally. Alice doesn't always recognise me, and she's the only person I feel I have" said Jasper sadly.
"Do you visit her at the hospital often?"
"No" admitted Jasper, "I feel so guilty, I feel like I abandoned her"
"You did what you had to Jasper. With this job . . you could never have given her the care she needs. Sometimes, sometimes with this job you have to choose saving other families over spending time with your own"
"My father hated me you know. And I hated him, I hated him more than anything. He didn't understand that I was smart, and that Alice got sick after we got married. He saw it as a weakness." Jasper said suddenly.
"Don't ever feel unwanted Jasper. We want you, need you" said Edward gently.
"You managed without me before"
Edward's heart broke at the sound of Jasper sounding so broken spirited. He'd always been charismatic, always dealt well under pressure, people warmed to him instantly, he found it very easy to talk people around to his way of thinking. And that could be extremely useful when they needed witnesses to cooperate.
"Just like they managed without me before, and Emmett and Carlisle. And everyone else who went before us. You are the future of this team Jasper, you have all the potential in the world to be great. You WILL be great"
"Thanks" mumbled Jasper, embarrassed.
"No, I really mean it, you're not just incredibly intelligent, you're kind and funny and helpful and . . . sexy" said Edward, his voice trailing off slightly towards the end.
Jasper could have sworn he detected a hint of a blush in Edward's cheeks. But that was impossible, Edward didn't blush.
"Sexy?" said Jasper, incredulous.
"Eh, I mean eh . . . you're attractive yes, but I don't think about you that way, not that I don't find you good looking. I mean - " Edward stumbled over his words, flushed and awkward.
He was definitely blushing.
"Edward, shut up, answer yes or no, do you find me sexy?" Jasper's tone became more aggressive.
Edward faltered, "I don't know"
Jasper climbed out of bed and stood up, pulling the black tshirt he wore to bed off over his head, his toned chest was exposed, "How about now?"
"Yes" said Edward, in spite of what his mind was protesting.
This was Jasper. His best friend. His partner.
Exactly, said another corner of his mind. "He's your best friend. Who else would you want to share this experience with? A stranger?"
No, he would most definitely rather it were Jasper.
Edward couldn't help but notice the fine line of hair trailing from Jasper's bellybutton and disappearing under the waist band of his boxers. More was revealed as Jasper began slowly pushing down his boxers.
He knew this was wrong, Jasper was vulnerable and upset right now, was this really what he wanted? "Of course it was", reasoned his brain, he had initiated everything so far . . . but maybe all he wanted was comfort now.
Would Jasper feel even worse in the morning? Would he feel like Edward had taken advantage of him in his hour of need?
Either way, what Jasper needed right now was a friend, not a one night stand with his best friend.
But what if he'd felt like this all along? What if he was expressing his true feelings now when he was pouring the rest of his heart out?
And the truth was, Edward himself was lonely. Since Bella had left him he had missed her comforting presence, knowing she was always there to call. Even in the last few months when things had gotten really bad she'd been only a phone call away when all he had needed to hear was a voice from home. But was Jasper to replace that presence?
Edward didn't know how he'd managed to ask himself so many questions in the space of time it took Jasper to undress. He was naked now, Edward didn't know where to put his eyes, Jasper's tall frame seemed to fill his entire field of vision from his now sitting position on the edge of the hard hotel bed.
"Edward?" whispered Jasper.
He looked up into his co-investigator's face.
"Do you want this?"
"Yes" the word had fallen from Edward's lips before he even realised it was the truth.
Despite all the reasons they shouldn't do this, Edward found himself reaching out for Jasper, pulling him towards him. Now that Edward had accepted his contact Jasper seemed more confident, he straddled Edward's lap, his naked body pressed against the thin cotton material of the vest and tartan pyjama pants Edward wore to bed.
Edward looked up into Jasper's face, tears were swimming in his large, beautiful eyes. His polluted irises swirling with the pain of the horrors in his mind that materialised during the night. Edward faltered, his fingers which had been rubbing small circles on Jasper's bare hips lost their rhythm, his lips which had just been about to press to his collar bone stopped and a strangled breath fell from between them.
Edward was crying too, the actual realisation that his marriage was really over crashed down on him. And for the first time since he'd come home to his empty house he accepted that Bella truly wasn't coming back. He had lost his wife and his daughter.
Jasper's tears which he'd been trying to contain again flowed freely now, they trickled down his cheeks and he pressed his face into Edward's shoulder. Edward did the same and they both sobbed.
They cried for lost love, for the horrors they'd seen, for lamented family, and for each other. They didn't know how long they sat wrapped around each other, or when their tears stopped, but they both noticed how right this felt, how perfectly their bodies seemed to fit together, to mould into one.
And then Jasper's hands and lips were all over Edward's body, his shoulders, his face, his chest. Edward lifted his arms to allow Jasper to gently pull his shirt up over his head. They were desperately pressing together now, wanting to feel as much as possible of another person. They both needed each other as much as they needed this release. Needed to feel something, anything other than the despair and sorrow that had recently engulfed both their lives.
Their troubles hidden from others, hidden behind strong leadership and incomparable intelligence.
They fell backwards together onto the thin sheets of the hotel bed, Edward's pants were lost somewhere in the tangled heat of their bodies. Their hands roamed over the others body, touching, exploring. Then Jasper rolled his hips once and entered Edward, there was no stretching, no preparing. It was just one simple thrust from Jasper and he was inside Edward. As close as it was physically possible for two people to be.
Jasper moved slowly, everything about this encounter was slow and gentle and comforting. They didn't need the sexual release so much as they needed the emotional release of feeling something.
It was almost as if they were releasing part of themselves into the other, and as Jasper felt his warm semen pouring into Edward and Edward releasing on his stomach, for one moment of pure exquisite bliss he felt free. Edward relaxed beneath Jasper as he pulled out and lay on top of him, his head on his chest.
"Thank you" Jasper whispered.
"No, thank you"
A/N: So, please review! You guys' reviews actually make my day.
I should have the second chapter of London Lives up in the next week, I've just mega busy this week. I was at badminton last night, and yoga tonight so I didn't have time to start the second chapter. I just decided I'd get this fixed up first :]
Expect it Thursday probably!
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