Crypto sat in his chair, with his legs propped up on the control board. He was hovering over Philadelphia, just waiting for an opportuned moment to vaporize those pathetic humans. He could drop onto the highway and start causing destruction there. He could flatten houses with his death-ray, but it was beginning to bore Crypto. Crypto needed to do something new. Something that could be amusing for a while. Something that would bring the love of hating humans back into his cloned brain. Crypto peeked out his window and saw that many people had pulled over from the roads to look at his UFO. Well, there's bound to be suspicion when a UFO is hovering under the clouds in clear daylight.
Crypto often thought of the earlier days full of the majestic guys and the girl he teamed up with. It had been long since he had forgotten her name. Natalie or something. Her death was gruesome, and her clones death was sad. Crypto had no sympathy over this. He often just poked fun at himself for liking a human.
Crypto gazed upon a Wal-Mart Supercenter below him. Suddenly a thought came to him. He had never, since he had been on earth, invaded a Wal-Mart. Crypto began to descend and he landed on the Wal-Mart roof. He looked out the window and saw that many people were just staring.
"Man, after all the earth movies these people watch about aliens. I'd think they got the clue. Perhaps I should do the War of the Worlds entrance, or maybe the Mars Attacks one." Crypto spoke aloud.
Crypto thought about it.
"Perhaps both!" Crypto said excitingly.
Crypto lowered the weird alien ship boardwalk thing and put his Zap-O-Matic in the back of his suit. He walked down the thing and went to the edge of the roof. He gazed upon all of these mystified people watching him, waiting for him to communicate.
"Sup people of earth. I come in peace and wish to share with you the secrets of the universe!" Crypto exclaimed. "Not!"
Crypto reached behind and grabbed his Zap-O-Matic. He yanked at it, but it was stuck. He put both hands behind his back and started pulling with all his might, bouncing his body up and down. He finally got it out and started zapping everyone in the Wal-Mart parking lot to a crisp.
"Not enough fire power!" Crypto shouted.
He ran back up into his ship and grabbed his Disintegrater Ray, Anal Probe, and his Ion Detonater. Upon returning, he shot detonaters in various places and blew the parking lot to pieces. Burning cars were soaring through the air, often landing on terrified civilians who had no clue there life would end in such a bizzare way.
He shot his Disintegrater Ray at unscathed cars and watched them exploded. He wished he could have some popcorn after watching some of these events that he caused. He glided across the parking lot, dropping detonaters to the ground and blowing up everything in its range. He zapped some people trying to escape while doing so.
After his parking lot experience was over, he glided over to the entrance and zapped any people trying to leave the wal-mart.
"Maybe I should lock this place down," he thought to himself. He zapped everyone who came into his path and he quickly locked down the wal-mart. "When did I ever learn to do this? And since when did Wal-marts have tight lock downs?"
Crypto then floated to the center of the Wal-Mart and spoke aloud.
"Yo! Everyone come right here to the exact center of this Wal-Mart! If you don't, I will extract your brains from your very pathetic skulls!"
The humans obeyed his command and at least three hundred humans came. Crypto did a quick check around Wal-mart. The ones he found hiding he zapped to death or shot with the Anal Probe. He returned to the middle of the store and used his telekinesis to pick up a fat guy.
"Alright, here's the deal. I hate all of you, but I'll let you live for now. At least until S.W.A.T. and the government and everyone else shows up. But if you try to run or do anything funny, this is what will happen to you."
Crypto threw the man to the ceiling and banged him up on it and then dropped him. The guy hit the ground with a hard thud and he breathed no longer. The other people were terrified and started crying. A little girl was almost screaming, so Crypto disintegrated her. He floated over to the gun section of the Wal-Mart and broke open the gun case. He grabbed a 12 gauge shotgun and loaded it with some shells. He flew back to the center and fired into the group, killing a few and wounding some others.
"Why did I never do this?"
Crypto shot the wounded, ending there lives and threw the gun down and disintegrated it.
"My weapons are better!"
Crypto was about to throw a detonater into the group, but he heard some commotion outside. Lots of commotion. He flew to the window and saw many helicopters flying over the Wal-Mart.
"If they touch my UFO, I will eat their rotten flesh!"
It was too late. They were surrounding it and going inside of it.
Crypto dropped a detonater into the group of people. He clicked the button and body parts went in different directions. Crypto blasted through the ceiling window and started zapping the cops and S.W.A.T. and whatever else was in sight. Crypto hopped in his death ray, popping anyone with the Zap-O-Matic. He lifted off of the ground and started destroying everything in sight. He chopped the Wal-Mart in half and leveled it. He fried any law enforcement officer he saw. He flew right through the choppers, sending them to the ground. When all was said and done, he dropped a bomb and it destroyed every object in its path and vaporized every human being within its radius. Crypto flew off into the now setting sun.
"Another day in the life of myself!" Crypto said happily.