THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN FICTION BY SHADOWGATE.
I DON'T OWN ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS.
WARNING CONTAINS SPANKING OF A CHILD.
It was a typical day and at 3:30 PM Theodore came home and started screaming.
Alvin wondered what the fuck was going on so he smacked Theodore and told him to shut the fuck up. Then he had to ask what the problem was.
THEN THEODORE ADMITTED IT! HE ADMITTED THAT HE TOLD THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER TO FUCK OFF!!
Alvin couldn't believe it.
ALVIN IMMEDIATELY TOOK HOLD OF THEODORE. THEODORE FELT LOTS OF COMFORT WITH ALVIN'S HAND ON HIS SHOULDERS BUT ALVIN HAD BAD NEWS AND WAS GOING TO STATE THE FUCKING OBVIOUS.
SO ALVIN WENT ON TO STATE THE FOLLOWING: THEODORE WHEN DAVE GETS HOME HE'S GOING TO GROUND YOUR ASS FOR A MONTH. NOW I HEAR THE SUBSTITUTE IS A FUCKING DICKHEAD AND HIS MOM WAS A NASTY WHORE FROM THE SLUMS. HE'S GOT MENTAL ISSUES AND SEXUAL ISSUES BUT DAVE ISN'T GOING TO CARE BECAUSE THE FACT IS HE IS AN AUTHORITY FIGURE AND YOU TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF.
THEODORE IMMEDIATELY BEGAN CRYING IN ALVIN'S ARMS. SIMON BUSTED IN AND OF COURSE HE HAD TO NOTICE THAT THEODORE WAS CRYING IN ALVIN'S FUCKING ARMS.
SIMON THEN ASKED "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
ALVIN JUST HAD TO TELL HIM THAT THEODORE TOLD THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER TO FUCK OFF AND SIMON HAD TO LAUGH.
SIMON LAUGHED FOR 30 MINUTES STRAIGHT AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO LAUGHED. SIMON EVENTUALLY NOTICED THEODORE AND ALVIN STARING AT HIM WITH GLARING LOOKS. THEODORE SAID TO SIMON "I KNOW YOU'RE GOOD AT SCIENCE SO COULD YOU COME UP WITH A FAST ACTING POISON I COULD TAKE BEFORE DAVE GETS HOME?"
SIMON NOW FELT SORRY FOR THEODORE AND HE ALONG WITH ALVIN BEGAN TO HUG THE POOR YOUNGEST CHIPMUNK.
All of the sudden they heard Dave's car pull up. Alvin immediately said "oh shit he's home and he's been having a bad week at work and a rotten fucking time getting it up in the bedroom."
"THEODORE" EXCLAIMED A LOUD ANGRY MAN.
Theodore said "oh shit" just before Dave barged in.
ONCE DAVE GOT INTO THE LIVING ROOM ALVIN AND SIMON HIT THE ROAD AND DAVE WENT ON A TIRADE.
DAVE YELLED THE FOLLOWING.
"YOU TOLD YOUR GODDAMN TEACHER TO 'FUCK OFF' THAT'S TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. OH HE WAS A SUBSTITUTE WELL EXCUSE ME GODDAMN IT YOUR ASS IS IN A SHITLOAD OF MOTHERFUCKING TROUBLE YOU GODDAMN SORRY SISSY PIECE OF SHIT. I'M SO FUCKING FED UP WITH ALL THE GODDAMN SHINANIGANS YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS PULL. IT PISSES ME OFF FUCKING BIG TIME. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SORRY LITTLE DIPSHIT TIT SUCKER. YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR GODDAMN HEAD CUT OFF. YOU ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING PIECE OF CRAP I'VE SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE. THEY SHOULD HAVE HUNG YOU DEAD RIGHT THERE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SCHOOL GYMNASIUM AS AN EXAMPLE FOR ANY OTHER GODDAMN KID WHO THINKS HE CAN FUCK AROUND THE WAY YOU DO. SHIT YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING AND STUPID I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU. GET OVER HERE.
Theodore screamed in pain as the beating went on.
In the other room Simon and Alvin wondered if they would be next. Simon suggested that if they were to be beaten they had better wait in the other room for if Dave had to look for them they'd end up getting it 10x worse.
Alvin decided to step in.
ALVIN SCREAMED "DAVE STOP YOU'VE MADE HIM SUFFER ENOUGH."
Dave had to leave the room to calm down. Alvin could see Theodore had just pulled up his pants and could barely move. Alvin asked if he was okay but all Theodore could say was "leave me alone."
The next night in the Seville House
Alvin and Simon confronted Theodore and asked if he could sit down or not. Theodore said it hurt really bad and added "I can't wait to get back to school on Monday but until then I'm suspended."
Then Dave stepped in.
Alvin and Simon stepped in front of Theodore. Alvin said "he's suffered enough."
Dave said he was sorry for being so mean but he's just had the worst week of his life. A co-worker cussed him out. His boss has been screaming at him for hours everyday and on his last date he couldn't get it up in the bedroom so she walked out on his impotent ass.
Simon commented "well we're sorry you've got problems but Theodore was degraded by his substitute who fortunately won't be around after this week and you really went off on him. It was abuse."
Dave felt horrible and said "Theodore I'm really sorry I was so nasty. I know we've both had a bad week."
Alvin and Simon spent two hours per night helping Theodore study since he was in need of help.
Dave spent time on the phone with a counselor talking about his problems. It was two months before the chipmunks picked up their instruments and practiced music as a band again.