"One two three, take my hand and come with me, 'cuz you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine."
"Um, Ran-ch... Er, Ranma?"
"I said you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine. Four five six-"
"RANMA! Stop the stupid singing and help me with this mob!" Growling, Ukyo Kuonji yanked the headphones off of Ranma Saotome, heir to the school of 'Anything Goes Martial Arts and Karaoke' and kicked another rioter in the face.
Apparently, somebody had said that Elvis was not the King of rock and roll, and a few other people had taken offense.
Ukyo let out a sigh. I hate this world already. Why does this one revolve around music anyway? What's 'Lunar inspired' supposed to mean? I can't WAIT until my next jump. Shaking her head, Ukyo spun around and blocked a thrown bottle with the flat of her battle spatula. "Eep!" Completing her turn, she thwacked aside a trio of rioters, grabbed Ranma by the back of his shirt, and lept clear over the crowd.
This Ranma was even younger than the one before, barely hitting his teens. The private thrill of being more skilled than Ranma faded once she realized that she had to be the one to do all the fighting and protecting now. Shaking her head, Ukyo set the younger boy down and hefted her spatula in both hands. Now I know why Mato was cranky all the time. Taking care of a bunch of people weaker than you is tiring work.
Most of the rioters hadn't been able to track just where the two teens had got to, so they resorted to default. Sadly, default in a mob ment that you attacked the nearest person next to you.
I can't take much more of this, I'm going to go crazy if I-
"Saotome you tuneless dog!"
"I shall utterly crush you at the battle of the bands, and prove once and for all that all you do is lip synch."
"Rrr, that's it! You're going down Kuno!"
It was time for the showdown of the day. A pity it boiled down to what appeared to be a karaoke contest.
Clapping her hands over her ears, Ukyo growled under her breath. Between the two idiots, all she could make out were disjointed clusters of words that made no sense at all. Argh! All I wanted was someone to be mine. Why on EARTH do I have to suffer like this? "SHUT UP! Stop the damn singing or I'll kick you both through a wall!"
Everything went deadly quiet. The entire mall had frozen in place and was staring at Ukyo.
"You stupid jackasses, aren't you men? Don't you have any pride as martial artists? Stop the stupid singing, go outside, and kick each other's asses already!" Flinging her arms up into the air, Ukyo stomped off in a huff. "God!"
"...She's right you know."
"About the singing?"
Staring at each other for a moment, Kuno and Ranma stood there quietly, until Ranma cocked back an arm, and punched Kuno square in the face. The crowd went nuts at that point, circling around the pair as they pounded on each other in a fantastic display of martial prowess.
Shaking her head, Ukyo looked around, feeling a little dazed. "Ugh, where am I now?" Putting a hand to her face for a moment, she tried to make sure her eyeballs weren't spinning wildly in their sockets like it felt like they were. All I had to do that time was stop the stupid singing? I'm starting to really hate the hitch this dimensional travelling stuff comes with. Sighing, Ukyo slung her spatula over her shoulder and looked around again, trying to get her bearings.
She was standing in the middle of the yard, facing the Tendo dojo. She knew it was the Tendo's place, because Ranma and Kuno were fighting in the middle of the dojo, both of them looking really pissed off. Akane was laying off to the side, her head at an awkward angle. She wasn't moving, either.
Also, the dojo was on fire.
Sighing, Ukyo shook her head and walked out into the street. She didn't want to get involved with this mess, if she had a choice about it. A little ways away, Shampoo and Mousse were also fighting, right out in the middle of the street. I guess Mousse and Ranma teamed up together, and everything just went wrong. Frowning, Ukyo paused in mid-step. Huh. Beneath the crushed remains of a compact car, a pair of legs were sticking out.
Legs in dark tights.
Using her spatula as a lever, she tipped the car off it's side, letting it flop over onto it's roof. Somewhere, Ukyo was aware of someone gasping, and she heard her battle spatula clatter to the ground. It took her a moment to gather her wits, and she realized that it was her that had gasped.
Understandable, considering she was staring at her own dead body.
"Ghhh..." Swallowing, Ukyo sucked in a few deep breaths, clamped a hand over her stomach, and forced herself to relax. She willed her stomach to stop churning so wildly, and eventually, it did. She was slowly getting used to seeing horrifying things. She'd seen Mato nearly get decapitated, lose an eye, and finally die. It didn't get much worse than that.
After collecting her wits, she reached out and began plucking spatulas out of the other girl's bandolier, sliding them into the loops on her own. The dimension before last she'd used up a lot of projectiles, and the chances to replace them came few and far between.
A sudden crash jolted her attention away from herself, her other self, rather.
Out in the street, Shampoo had kicked over a firetruck, pinning Mousse's legs.
It must have been headed for the dojo. Frowning, Ukyo stood up.
"Ha, Shampoo kill stupid Mousse now. Should never betray Shampoo."
"You sure talk big, for someone who's got that kid pinned."
"Who is talking? You come out and Shampoo kill!"
"Nah, I'm not in the mood."
"Coward! You is scared of Shampoo!"
"Ooooh, a tough girl, are you?"
"Then let's just see if you can flip that firetruck back upright again... Wuss."
"Argh! Shampoo do, then kill you and stupid Mousse too!" Spinning on her heel, Shampoo shoved the battered fire engine back onto it's wheels with a little effort. Laughing to herself, apparently a little unhinged, she turned back around to address the mystery voice.
And took a battle spatula to the face.
"Ha, easy as cooking." Smirking, Ukyo slung her battle spatula over her shoulder and checked on both Chinese martial artists. Both out cold. Good. Thwacking her hand on the side of the truck, Ukyo stood up on tip-toe to peek into the window. "Hey! What are you waiting for? Get this stupid truck moving! The fire's not going to wait for you to show up!" As the truck pulled away, Ukyo quickly made her way away from all the destruction, and plunked her butt down on a bench at a nearby bus stop.
"Phew." Fanning herself with a hand, Ukyo slouched on the bench, sticking her legs out. "I don't think I can take much more of this... How many worlds am I going to visit that don't even have a Mato there?"
As if on cue, the world around Ukyo flickered once, before dissolving in a flashing display of bright lights.
In short, she disappeared.
And reappeared in the middle of a cake.
For those of you who couldn't follow that, it shall be repeated.
Was standing in the middle of a cake.
And covered in frosting from the knees down.
"Why am I standing in the middle of a cake? A wedding cake?"
"...Because you're insane, and can't resist ruining our wedding?"
Ukyo blinked, staring at Nabiki Tendo, wearing a white wedding dress, and hanging off the arm of Ranma Saotome. "Wow, you really look terrible in a tux Ran-ch- er, Ranma."
Ranma, for his part, made a little strangled sort of noise. A cross between a whimper and a groan of terror.
"Why, Ukyo, are you ruining my wedding?" Nabiki planted one hand on her hip, and kept the other firmly locked around Ranma's arm.
"Uh..." Ukyo's brain locked up for a moment. That's a good question. What do I say? What could I say? Isn't there anyone in all of creation that's ever delt with this? What would they do?
The answer, all the answers, popped into her head in an instant.
Be a jerk.
"Well Nabiki, what can I say?" Ukyo felt this warm little sensation sweep through her body, like the memory a sweet spring breeze flowing through her body. "You're a total bitch, and this is probably all just a scam to use Ranma to make money." That jackass wouldn't stop there if I was him. Hopping off of the cake, Ukyo looked around for a moment. He'd be utterly relaxed, like he was ordering lunch. Spotting a pile of napkins, Ukyo grabbed a few, and started wiping frosting off of her legs. "You'll probably give him a crappy honeymoon, then work him like a dog to crank out a chain of dojos across Japan."
Ranma let out another strangled noise, his eyes slowly moving to fix on Nabiki's face.
Nabiki looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She couldn't possibly believe that anyone had seen through her master plan so easily.
"Face it honey, you're only doing this for yourself." What do I do now? Ukyo frowned, outwardly focusing on cleaning her legs off. Keep going, right? Be just as big of a jerk as he was, and just rub her face in it. A lopsided smirk settled onto Ukyo's face as she glanced over her shoulder at Nabiki. "Heh, you're better off just stayin' with that little runt you've got on the side." No, nooo. Too much. Don't do the voice and the sloppy Japanese too. It was a little hard to just keep pretending she was Mato, and continue to act like she wasn't utterly embaressed to be in such a situation, without copying his mannerisms too.
"Wh-wh-wh-WHAAAAT?" Nabiki looked like she was ready to explode. A combination of anger, guilt, and shame broiled nicely on a plate of shock, and was nearly done.
"Meh, whatever. Not my problem." Finished cleaning her tights off, Ukyo walked past the bride and groom. "Have fun explainin' to all the guests why you're cheatin' on Ranma." Tossing the wad of frosting coated napkins over her shoulder, Ukyo continued to smirk as they landed right where she'd aimed them.
Right in the middle of Nabiki's cleavage.
Shoving open the double doors, Ukyo stepped out of the banquet hall, and strode out into the warm air of a sunny summer day. Ok, as horrifying as that was... It actually felt pretty... Good. Now I know why Mato was such a snarker. Taking a moment to stretch her body out, Ukyo sighed and resumed walking down the street. Ok, now all I have to do, is see if I can find someone who know's if there's a Mato in this reality. Piece of cake.
Meanwhile, back in Ukyo's dimension of origin...
"What the hell do you mean you haven't seen Ukyo in over a week?!" Slamming Ranma Saotome, the heir to the school of anything goes martial arts, against the wall of the dojo, the guy who'd just shown up out of nowhere growled. He was a very pissed off fellow in bright yellow, and it didn't help that Ranma looked like he'd seen a ghost.
Akane came charging into the dojo, brandishing a table like most would a baseball bat. "Who's making all the noi- eek!" The table slipped from Akane's grip, and thudded to the ground behind her, as she covered her mouth with both hands. She'd gone deathly pale, staring at the unnatural apparition before her, holding Ranma by the collar of his shirt. "Y-y-you're... Dead!"
"...Yeah." Tilting his head a little, the mystery guy frowned, staring at Akane for a moment. "I got better." He was Mato Hibiki, Ukyo's former personal Angel. Dimensional traveler, Demon slayer, honored foe of the Chinese Amazons, who'd given his life in their defense.
And he was very pissed off. "Where's Ukyo?"
Well, that's the opening chapter. Hopefully, it does the job of hooking everyone in, and telling them just enough so they can get the gist of what's going on.
Or, maybe I just drove everyone away, who knows?
Anyway, for those of you wondering, yes, this is a sequel. Specifically, the sequel to the story 'Be careful what you wish for'. Actually, you all probably figured that one out a long time ago. The readers wanted to know what was going to happen after the last one ended, so... Here it is, in all it's short glory.
Readers of my other work should remember that the first two chapters or so are always shorted than all the others, as I get a feel for how the story should flow.
Those of you that are interested, can check out how the first story, and how all of this started by reading the first one.
Those of you who are lazy, shame on you, can simply ask me whatever questions you like, and I'll answer them as best I can.
... Or, I'll wave my hand, give you a half-answer, and evade the most telling part of the question. Ha!
Questions, comments, and what not are always welcome.
Until next chapter.
Oh! Right. Welcome all new readers, for those of you who are going to stick around for the long run. And welcome back to all the returning fans of the first one, who get to sit up front, and get first dibs on the good chairs and the snack cart. You know which one you are.