Drabble – Beginnings

Silus stares out the window, wishing it was open. It's dark outside, no moon tonight. This day has been important, one of the most significant days of his life. People are telling him it is the most important day of his life, but he doesn't believe that. That day came a long time ago.

Today Silus officially became a novitiate, chosen by a respected politician, Brother Augustus. He knew it was coming for a long time. Brother Augustus was there from the beginning, that other beginning, that horrible one. He stares out the dark window and wonders if he should have been chosen. He did well in diplomacy, it's true, before his Confirmation, but it is hardly his passion. Anyone could see that. His real interest is in criminology, or even the technological sciences. Brother Augustus is an ambitious man; he would not choose a novitiate unless he had plans for him. And those plans are likely to be lofty.

Silus looks out the window and doesn't see it. They are saying this is his beginning. With a powerful and highly positioned Mentor, he will rise quickly. He has a great future in store. This is the start of his life. But Silus feels like he has already lived a long time already, a lifetime. More than even his chronological years should permit.

He's young by Brother's standards. Barely thirty-three. Most don't matriculate until thirty-five at least, but he was a quick study. Talented, they said. And he found a Mentor only six months after his Confirmation ceremony…. It was unusual to say the least.

Silus knows he should feel happier. He puts his hands on the glass. It's cool and smooth beneath his touch. And so fragile… he can feel the tiny vibrations of footsteps two stories down, just barely feel the breeze behind this thin pane. One push and it will break. The thought is tempting. Let the air come in, let his strange thoughts come out.

Silus moves away from the window. Thoughts like that scare him, and he doesn't know why. He takes a deep breath, not sure if it helps him. He tells himself that this is a great day for him, and this will mean great things. Strange beginnings, is all he can think. He still remembers that day twenty six years ago, and it seems like that was his real beginning more than this day.

There is nothing left to think. Silus turns off the light and prays for sleep.