A Very Shassie X-Mas

"…and in other news, snow; yes SNOW, has been predicted for the entire Santa Barbara area. It is very uncommon for the snow clouds to move down this close to the tropics, but residents are advised to stay indoors and keep warm. Now we go to Steve, with a report on the current influx of pineapple purchases. St-,"

Carlton Lassiter frowned as he clicked of the radio in his police car. It was shaping up to be one hell of a Christmas Eve. It was only three A.M, but the Chief had called him to investigate an alarm going off in the Santa Barbara Mall. It was probably just frozen circuitry, but the police were required to send someone down just to keep a good impression of the S.B.P.D., normally they would've sent Buzz, or even Detective O'Hara to investigate, but Buzz was in Trinity visiting relatives while O'Hara was unreachable after the Police Department's annual Christmas party. He remembered watching O'Hara having several drinks while there. What did Shawn see in her?

Lassiter shook his head for a moment. Why had he even thought of that phony psychic in a time like this? Coffee…he needed coffee is all, right? He could grab a cup at the Police Station before going to the Mall.

Carlton walked through the doors of the police department and headed into their make-shift kitchen. 'Oh, great.' He thought as he glanced at the empty coffee pot. 'Of course; who would make coffee here at three in the morning.' He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter while the coffee pot burbled. Suddenly he could hear a very familiar voice crooning some strange form of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Carlton quickly poured himself a cup of coffee and tried to hurry out of the station before he was noticed.

"LASSIE!" a very effeminate voice called out overzealously. Lassiter rolled his eyes and turned around on his heel to face the fake psychic Shawn Spencer.

"What do you want Spencer?" Lassiter sighed rubbing his temple with his free hand.

"Some of that coffee actually, thanks." Shawn smiled snatching the coffee cup out of Lassie's grip. He took a quick gulp and then handed it to an officer who happened to pass by.

"Why are you here, is what I mean." Lassiter growled, angry that his coffee had been taken away from him.

"Well, you see," Shawn began, putting an arm around Carlton's waist, ignoring the flurry of complaints that followed. "While I was out Christmas shopping yesterday, I accidentally left one of my dad's presents at one of the stores and the other gifts won't make sense unless I have the last one!" He finished distressingly. Lassiter could only imagine what the others were that would require an explanatory gift as well.

"Well what have I got to do with all of this?" Lassiter asked, pushing himself away from Shawn's arm on his waist.

"Well, I heard that you're going to investigate an alarm going off at the mall, so I'd like to tag along if you don't mind." He said walking closer to Carlton with every word. He knew that Lassiter would mind, but he'd follow along anyway.

Lassiter shook his head. "No way Spencer. You're not going with me. This is a solo mission and that's final!"

-5 minutes later-

Lassiter tried to resist the urge to put Spencer's head through the windshield of his car as Shawn started up another Christmas carol. He had barely made it through Jingle Bells as it was.