A/N: Be warned, you will need to use a good deal of imagination for this story. Quite frankly, this one embarrasses me. But if it comes to mind, I must write it, so here ya go. Oh, and if you were curious, it came to mind when I heard Frink singing and randomly thought he'd make a beautiful rapper. That is, of course, if it weren't for his dorkiness (which is awesome).


Professor Frink stepped back from his newly set up video camera and waved into the lens from next to a box with a boombox on it. He then addressed the viewers:

"Nghello people of the outside world! I'm Professor John Frink, and today I'll be giving music, of the rapping variety, a whirl. Now I know what you're all thinking: "A nerd? Rapping?! That's crazy talk!" Well I can assure you that this is merely experimental, and hey, if Mr. Burns can do it so can I..! Nghey. So, without further ado, I present for your critique 'Experiment in Rap 1'. Ngenjoy."

That said, he pressed a button on the boombox, and a steady beat filled the room, to which Frink started to move. He rapped:

"Ngh-hey, hey, I'm Professor Frink

I'm that guy who likes to sit and think.

I've got a genius monkey

He is really funky

'Fresh' that is..*gahem*


When I get stressed out, I tend to say 'glavin!'

When there's trouble around it's the whole town I'm savin'!

Assuming there's a science of sorts..involved..

Um, ng-hey-hey!


I'm the coolest 'dude' that you'll ever see

Come tinker with me, in my laboratory.

I'll turn ya neato colors like purples and greens

And if you want, I'll even splice your genes!

I could turn you short fat tall or lean

Though you might lose something like a lung or a spleen..


Say hey! (Hey!)


Say whoah! (Whoah!)



Ngyes I'm known to invent, it's kinda my thing

I'll tell you about it, while I sorta half sing.

I've tried from time machines to flying motorbikes

And I'm workin' on a Walkman, outfitted for pike!


I've made tri-zippered pants

Gone on lengthy rants

Now please beware, I'm about to dance!


Ahem. I'm told that during the 'breakdown' portion of the song one should 'breakdance'. Now I've told you to beware because, quite frankly, I'm not very good. But here goes..mgh-kay. Alrighty, here's a 'basic wave' with the, flowing and, moving like water, followed by a sort of, flappy moonwalk-type thing…and now I am supposed to spin around several times and land-OW! Oh, pain, with the hurting and the several bones knocked out of place and OY, it stings…is the part with the breaking over yet? It is?! Sweet vector calculus I missed my cue..! Eh-hrm!


So remember Professor F-R-I-N-K

In the town of Springfield is where I stay

And I'll have you know I'm the best science guy

Superior even, the William S. Nye!


Say hey! (Hey!)


Say Whoah! (Whoah!)



Ho-k, so now while the cassette of generic rap beats does its little fade-out thingy, I'm going to try hobbling my way over to the nearest first aid kit. G'night folks."

He hobbled his way off screen. As the music began to wane, there was a huge CRASH! followed by a cry of 'Glavin!' and then there was nothing but the music as it faded into nothing.


Frink 'hmm'ed as the video ended. He sat on a pink couch with his monkey, done up in several bandages.

"I don't think that one went very well." Frink addressed the monkey. The monkey shook his head in agreement.

"Ok!" concluded Frink, "So, from this experiment I have learned that rap, is not, fun! Nghey. What say next time we try thrash metal?" He smiled expectantly at the monkey. The monkey put a hand over his eyes and shook his head.