A/N: My first story. Hope you like it. I do accept criticism. Flames if need be. They will be ignored but go ahead and put them. Read the story! And like it!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all twilight characters. But I own a really cool hat.
How Jacob managed to convince me to go inside the Cullens' house, I'll never know. It was better than sitting in the freaking snow outside.
Christmas wasn't far and the little fortune teller was everywhere and everywhere. There was no end to the decorations she was putting up. I found slight amusement in seeing Bella's horrified face when Alice showed her a bunch of presents.
All I could do was sit and glare at whoever looked at me. I stiffened when I felt a horrible, a seriously horrible glare on me. I turned slowly and saw the creepy blond. What was his name? Casper?
"His name is Jasper," Edward passed casually.
"I didn't ask you, Ed-Turd," I snapped, ignoring the guffaws from the buff one as big as a fridge. Probably larger, no doubt.
"What's your problem?" I asked sourly, unable to hide my wariness of his expression.
"Must you be so rabid?" he growled. Oh. Dog jokes. Is that how you wanna play it? It is so on, you stupid, vampiric pretty boy.
"Go make a snowman. Take a chomp. I swear you'll give him frostbite."
"Vampire jokes?" he raised a well-defined eyebrow.
"Yeah. What are ya gonna do about it?" There was nothing he could do. Physically, at least. Daddy Dracula would put a stop to it.
I swear. The scariest, wickedest grin came onto his face and Edward chuckled from the living room. Shit. What was this guy thinking? Jasper stood and headed for the door.
"I'll see you at Christmas, Leah," he told me silkily. I blanched.
"Whatever. Buzz off, already." He left and I met Edward's golden eyes. He knew exactly what his brother was planning and he was not going to tell me. I shot him my best death glare and ignored everyone for the rest of the night. I could only imagine what Jasper's last cryptic words meant. 'I'll see you at Christmas.' What a creepy brother he must be. I mean, I had Seth, and he's obnoxious as all get out, but Jasper, now, he's from Planet Disturbing. He and Alice are perfect for each other. She needs a shirt that tell everyone to Beware. That or 'I know what you'll do this summer.' Seriously.
By the time Christmas came, I was using a nightlight. Every time I saw that guy, I was so close to peeing in my pants. He kept sending me this sadistic, amused look. It was only after Jacob told me that I remembered his ability to sense and give fear.
EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!
It got worse. Way worse. Alice had come up to me and asked me to join in for presents. She said there was some for me. I didn't ask for anything but whatever. I walked in and there he was. The Evil Empathic Poo Stick. He smiled grimly.
"Leah," he greeted.
"You look like you're about to conquer the world," I muttered.
"My dream of world domination will have to wait," he sighed. "At least until after presents and such." I grimaced and watched him go and sit by Alice. I sat beside Seth staring at him. There was no way I could predict what was coming. It was only a moment later I noticed Alice and Edward looking at me in entertainment. They knew.
"Shall we begin?" Mother Undead asked.
"Let's do it!" Seth said excitedly.
I sat back and watched people open. The gifts varied. Seth thanked Esme and Carlisle when he opened a freaking i-pod. Kiss-up. Esme handed me a small box and it said it was from Edward, Alice and Bella. I opened it and was shocked to see it was the same diamond pendant I had been eyeing when I went shopping with Emily.
"You like it, right?" Alice asked. I blushed but did my best to keep my cool. If it had been something else, I probably would have thrown it away. But...I wanted this.
"Yes. Thanks." When no one was looking, I put it on, trying not to remember the price. Insane rich vampires. I wondered if they ever gave to charity.
"YES!!!!" I jumped as Emmett. He got a video game or something. Typical guy.
"Here's another one, Leah," Carlisle handed me another box. Jasper grinned. I looked to see who it was from. To my favorite flea-infested dog, Leah. From: Jasper.
Everyone had gone quiet. I slowly opened it.
"Hurry it up!" Rosalie snapped. I narrowed my eyes but indulged her. I pulled out the gift that I had feared over the past two weeks.
Oh. No. He. Didn't.
Emmett and Jacob burst out in uproarious laughter. Bella, Esme and Carlisle were trying not to laugh. Emphasis on trying. Edward, who held Renesmee, was cracking up as well while Alice and Rosalie looked like they'd die from laughing. Seth had a pillow over his face for my sake. I figured he was enjoying it, too.
The gift consisted of three main objects.
One. A bright pink chew toy with 'Bite Me' on it.
Two. A milk bone with a bow.
Three. A collar with a pure gold license with my name elegantly engraved on it.
Slowly, my eyes raised to Jasper's and he looked very satisfied with himself. He bolted and I was right on his tail.
"JASPER! YOU'RE GONNA DIE AGAIN!!!!"
In the end, I collapsed after running so hard and I had to let the jerk carry me back. He was laughing the whole time. I decided I actually kind of liked the Cullens'. They were almost normal. Like the crazy family everyone has. But I liked them on a low level.
A really low level. Like microscopic. Especially Evil Empathic Poo stick. He won. For now.